Relationships

6 replies

Posie22 · 10/12/2023 01:42

I met a guy in a club he’s 9 years older than me . We live 200 miles away from each other and randomly met on a night out as we have the same birthday. We met multiple times again. I traveled to see him he traveled to see me. I didn’t know at the beginning he had a partner and two children. I found out the second time I met him but was told it was over for a long time. Slowly the more I got to know him I realised that it was not true and in fact he was actually still with her. They are now not together and he has a different house (still 200miles away from me tho). we have spoke everyday and still meet 2 or 1 times a month I’ve known him for 7 months now and we definitely have very strong feelings for each other. I feel naive and I feel like I’m stepping into a situation I’ll be hurt if I step out of it but at the same time I’ve honestly never in my life connected so much with someone and for me I struggle with that. I feel like the madness of it all of him cheating on his misses with me and leaving a family home to peruse a relationship with me and I’m 200miles away must mean something right? I’m 22 and he is 31 for reference. I just want advice to be honest

OP posts:

ImustLearn2Cook · 10/12/2023 01:47

For him to lie to you, lie to his partner and kids and then there is the cheating on his partner too. A good person does not behave like that. He is not a good person. Why would you want to be with someone like that? Why would you want to trust someone who has lied to you before?

ZekeZeke · 10/12/2023 02:37

Darling, you are the OW

AlmostAJillSandwich · 10/12/2023 02:45

Why would you want to be with someone willing to cheat on a long term partner and his kids and blow their entire lives apart? If that's not a commitment important enough to him to stay faithful, he's definitely not going to stay faithful to someone 200 miles away he sees twice a month max.

He's lied to you since day 1, so he's never respected you, has used you, and didn't care about your morals when it came to cheats to give you the choice if you were ok being the other woman he was destroying his family just to shag about with.

Lifeasiknowitisout · 10/12/2023 03:21

So he is a cheater. And you are the other woman.

He lied at first and you didn’t know you were the other woman. But then you found and carried on anyway.

How do you see this playing out? You going to move to where he lives? Leave your life where you are?

Because a decent man wouldn’t move 200 miles away from his child for a girlfriend. But then a decent man doesn’t cheat either.

Are you excited to love your entire life for a man who has proved he will cheat when he gets a bit bored. Are you excited to plan your life around his kids and his ex? In an area you don’t know, where you don’t know anyone giving up your own life where you are now so you can accommodate him , his kids and (to some extent) his kids.

Let’s say it’s the love story of the century. Even if you get married and have kids, you still need to plan around his other kids. And his ex.

Why would you even continue to see him once you knew he lied and then lied again? You are young, of course you think the connection is special. It’s not. He is just a run of the mill manipulative cheater.

MamaMountain · 10/12/2023 03:36

It’s doesn’t mean anything. Do the decent thing now and run. One a cheat always a cheat. He’ll do exactly the same to you given the chance. Although, what makes you think you’re the only one? He’s already lied to you. Also how would you feel if you were in his partner’s situation?

Caringandsgaring · 28/12/2023 14:32

My uncle met a lady online who lives in the same house as her ex because they have an 11 yrs old . The only time he can meet her is during her dinner break at work , though she never goes back in time and spends at least 2 hours with my uncle when she supposedly only has an hours dinner break. She only messages him, has only ever rang him about 4 times, in the 7 months they've known each other
She often goes two or three days not messaging him ,then he gets worried and out of the blue she will text like nothing is wrong . She swears she is not with anyone and has definitely split from her ex and only lives there because she can't afford anywhere on her own. She knows how worried my uncle gets when she doesn't message but she will say things like, she was tired, she fell asleep, a family emergency, etc .
Is she lying and is my uncle wasting his time,

Flip