Okay, so sleep is a bit of a hot topic in our house. On this one matter we cannot agree and my DP thinks I am being unreasonable but I think he is actually the unreasonable one. It’s a snoring one.
Back story- over the last few years my partners snoring has increased dramatically, following a big weight gain over covid/a very high stress work period. I’m usually a deep sleeper but this is no longer the case post having a baby.
We have chosen to co-sleep, and now all share a bed now that baby is bigger (he was in bassinet/cot when he was little). DP wants us all in the family bed together and I like that too. Except, DP’s snoring is now so bad that it awakens the baby, who then latches onto me and comfort feeds to try get back into sleep. Baby will just start getting back into that deeper sleep (I can feel it through how he’s feeding) and DP will do a huge snore, startling baby and beginning the process again. The constant shift in latching/unlatching ends up waking me up too.
here’s the issue: I have said that easy, until DP looses his weight and the snoring improves baby and I can move to the second bedroom. DP gets upset and says this is equivalent for him of us breaking up. As a compromise, I try ask him to roll over and face away from us (facing the wall) which lessens the noise but he often gets upset and says no, he wants to face his family and gets grumpy at me.
He’s says I’m being unreasonable for asking that and that I am overthinking it and should practice mindfulness to overcome the latching sensation and that the baby isn’t really that bothered. I am clearly infuriated by this and think he is unreasonable to put his baby and partner through less sleep when he could so easily help us.
so, am I unreasonable to ask a grown man to simply face away to help myself and his child get some more sleep? Could I in fact solve this problem by becoming so calm and mindful that the snoring becomes like ocean waves to me and, somehow, the baby? Or is he unreasonable?