Hi everyone, was looking for some other perspectives on my current situation. Both dh and I have full time jobs and sometimes struggle for child care. Dd (4) has just started school and while this does take the pressure off taking care of her during the day, pick up times can be tricky to fit around our jobs. One of her friends mothers offered to have her round after school some days to make it a bit easier and I would definitely consider getting a baby sitter as well.
Yesterday my parents proposed another solution and expressed that they would love to take dd after school some days. My relationship with my mum has always been very positive, we are really close and she is amazing with dd. My relationship with my father however it a little more complicated. I know he loves me and dd very much but growing up he was a very very angry man and he often took his anger out on me as the smallest and least likely to fight back. Because of this I had a very unhappy childhood, with him constantly shouting names at mean and on occasion physically lashing out. While my mum was aware of this, she was often powerless to protect me.
My dad has been to therapy and has taken anger management courses and so there have been no such incidents in a number of years, however, I am very apprehensive to leave dd alone with my parents, given how living with them impacted me growing up. They have had lots of contact with dd in the past but never without me being there. I expressed this to my parents and that I wasn't sure I was comfortable with them taking care of dd in my absence and they seemed to think I was being very unfair and my dad expressed that he was very hurt given the efforts he has taken to change.
Am I being unreasonable not to want to leave dd with my parents and to leave her with a friend or a qualified child minder instead on days where we need a little extra support?