Feel like there are 3 people in my marriage!

[annoyed788]

Long term user, name changed as outing.

My DH runs his own company, he is an electrician.

He has a customer who he has done a lot of work for including total rewire of property, doing all electrics in home and garden for their 2 properties.

The wife will ask him to go round and change a couple of light switches, she'll then ask him whilst he's there if he can do something else and something else etc which is obviously fine because they pay but she doesn't understand that he isn't at her beck and call.

They have a lot of money, she'll have the whole house decorated, new lights etc and then 3 months later decides to redo it all so they are one of the customers which brings a lot of money into our business.

She will text and call at 9/10/11pm to ask questions, book in work (which she expects to be done with the snap of her fingers even though DH has other jobs to do).

He told her at the beginning of November, if she wanted anything done before Christmas it would need to be done on the 3 days he had free in November as he is fully booked December with 2 big jobs. She said she didn't want anything else done until the new year.

We went away mid week with our 7 month old on a city break to go to Christmas markets etc. she called him and text him multiple times saying she now wants something done that'll take a week and she wants it done before Christmas. He didn't reply as he had told her that we are away.

She then started messaging me on Facebook, to ask me to ask DH to reply to her. I read, told DH and didn't respond.

DH then gets a further 3 missed calls from her today and a shitty message saying if he wants any extra money before Christmas he's going to have to come and get this work done for her. (How dare she!)

I am absolutely sick of her calling and texting whilst we are bathing our daughter, watching tv together, sometimes we'll be in bed going to sleep and she'll text or call and felt like messaging back that he is entitled to family time, he isn't her slave and that he will obviously reply when he's back to work which is tomorrow!

What do we even do? DH can't exactly piss her off because of the amount of work he gets from them but she's seriously starting to take the piss.

He needs to make it clear to her he will only respond during work hours. I don't respond to anything work related when I'm at home with my family.
He should reply to her in work hours and say unfortunately I'm very busy and I can't fit you in as previously explained.
Does he have a separate phone for work? If not he should buy one and use that to communicate with customers and only have it switched on during work hours

@CrackersCheeseAndWinePlease he doesn't as we were keeping costs down around having our baby but now they're here and we've got what we need, we have upgraded my phone and he is going to sort out a SIM card for my old one to use for work, just haven't got round to doing it.

It would be very unprofessional if your DH let one of his December customers down to fit this woman in. He'll start getting bad reviews and word will spread that he's unreliable.

i agree with pp, he needs to be polite but firm that he will only respond during work hours and not when he's with his family.

He's told her so many times that when he gets home from work, he won't be taking work calls or texts unless there is an emergency as he works sometimes 7 days a week and the evenings are the only time he has with me and baby but she's used to clicking her fingers and getting what she wants, in all aspects of life it seems. I don't think she gets that, she had live in nanny's for her children when they were young so she could go on holidays every couple of months with her girl friends and her Husband just threw money at her to go spend whilst he ran the businesses he owns. I think it's a parallel universe the thought of spending time with your kids!

@TicTacNicNak he wouldn't ever let a customer down, he is very good at what he does and all of his customers are mostly from word of mouth which is great when they are all rich and recommend to their neighbours/friends/family but it's also a downside because they think that having money puts you at the front of the queue!

She sounds like she’s become obsessed with your husband. Hopefully things will get better when you’ve got the work phone but your DH has got to be super strict about work hours. It sounds as though he’s fairly good already though to be fair, just keeping it up really.

Does your dh have a private mobile and a work mobile?

I think that would be the answer to your problems

Work mobile gets switched off when he finishes work

Don't communicate with customers via SM either and if I was you I'd block her

She sounds like a stroppy entitled child

Wonder what her husband makes of this.

Long term solution is to get a separate business phone to avoid this. One where he can have a voicemail on there stipulating his working hours and which he switches off at the end of the day. Can he get a cheap phone from somewhere? For Sim only I'd suggest GiffGaff for £10 a month. But in the short term, I think he needs to divert her number to his voicemail and only ever respond to her during 9-5pm.

He just needs to never read or respond to messages out of work hours. Keep all communications short and factual and build up his customer base so he can start phasing her out.

This is not acceptable.
Your DH is busy this is intruding on personal time and reducing his profitability by doing bitty jobs for this needy woman

Honestly he should just send a message saying

"Hi Glen Close,
I understand you've been trying to get in touch. As I mentioned I am not available in Dec and going forward I'll only be working on larger projects so won't be able to help with the smaller jobs you have.
Here are Jeff the handyman's details he is an excellent tradesman and can help these jobs if you'd like.
Wishing you all the best,
Michael (Douglas)"

Then block and delete

Your Dh needs to block her after work hours after sending a professional message re contacting him only in work hours. If he doesn’t stop her, she’ll carry on, the rude cow. Is the Facebook work related? If not, block her, how dare she contact you?!

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