Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think things aren't right?

6 replies

bubblyr · 09/12/2023 19:04

Feeling like I'm losing my mind to be honest. I feel quite depressed, all I do is worry about my relationship and whether my DP is abusive. Embarrassed myself at Christmas night out crying about it all and just honestly feel like a shell of myself. Have no self esteem and feel like bursting into tears any time someone tries to give me a compliment. I've started going to a counsellor in the hopes I can get back to being myself.

I'm struggling to understand what's got me here. I've had issues in the past I've not dealt with but I was doing really well a few years ago. I also have a DP who criticises me all the time and is just angry a lot. He's trying to be better now that I'm going to counselling and says that will help as he won't be so angry if I'm not as miserable as its me bringing things down. I feel like he's actually a big part of how I've ended up this way. Other than something that happened to me nearly 20 years ago, there's not a lot of things that have impacted my MH. When I bring things up it always seems to turn around to what I need to work on. Does it sound like I've caused the relationship to deteriorate to this point because I've not dealt with past issues? Or does it sound like a DP who's emotionally abusive and gaslighting?

OP posts:
Jinglingallthewaytochristmas · 09/12/2023 19:05

It’s the second.

Minion21 · 10/12/2023 10:41

I've been there, OP. You need to face the deep cause of your sufferings, but your own problems don't rule out that you might also be in an abusive relationship. Actually, out of experience, I know that people with low self-esteem are the perfect victims of abusers. Your past issues are the perfect excuse for him to blame everything on you. Don't underestimate what now might seem only little red flags, don't overestimate the crumbles of joy you are getting out of this relationship. It can only get worse with this person.
All the best, OP 💐

Octonaut4Life · 10/12/2023 10:44

It doesn't have to be one person's fault or the others. If things aren't working and you're not making each other happy it's okay to call it a day.

Squiggles23 · 10/12/2023 10:46

I think you should take time away and see if you end up feeling better. It doesn’t sound a great relationship to be walking on egg shells.

Remember things are never as bad as you think with work. Loads of people will have the same anxiety post party. It’s the alcohol.

pinkfondu · 10/12/2023 10:46

Leave, honestly this is unhealthy. I e been left with long term mental health issues as well as trust and attachment issues due to not leaving

Ahlovetoloveyoubaby · 02/07/2024 17:29

Your other half sounds toxic. Why stay with him?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread