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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel like I don’t fit in at work

4 replies

Tapasita · 09/12/2023 16:37

I went for a promotion within my team earlier this year. It was a secondment. Despite being “well thought of” (my line manager’s words) and absolutely up to par with my skill level I didn’t get it. Fine. But……they gave it to a younger person (no children) who was an internal candidate from another team with no experience in the field.

I suppose it’s a tale as old as time but I’m left feeling so weird and odd now in the team. I feel like I don’t belong there anymore if that makes sense. And yet they’re constantly praising my work, telling me I’m more than ready for the next step etc. They tell me I’m working to that level anyway. But for some reason……they didn’t want me. Well, they want me, but where I am.

AIBU to feel very very confused by this?? I’m doing a qualification at the moment which is funded by work. Should I do it and go? It’s a lovely team but I dunno, I feel rejected in the true sense of the word!! It’s making me feel depressed. They know I can work to a higher level (I’m doing it anyway) but the cynical side of me says that interviews are nothing short of a personality contest and if they can go ahead and recruit someone who has no former experience over someone who does then it surely isn’t about ability………

Feedback was so ambiguous. You’ll get that senior job but you just have to get through the interview!! What does that even mean? I presented well and the questions were so so vague and unspecific - it was a weird experience.

AIBU? To feel disheartened here now?

OP posts:
AlizeeEasy · 09/12/2023 16:41

Sometimes it can be a rod for your own back to be ‘too good’ at your job. People come to rely on you so when the possibility of you progressing or moving they take measures to stop that happening. I think you need to look at your options outside of your current job and then raise to your higher ups that if you don’t start seeing some recognition for your hard work then you will be looking for opportunities elsewhere

Tapasita · 09/12/2023 16:44

@AlizeeEasy

Yes this did cross my mind. I’m very effective, they rely on me a lot in this post 😣😣

OP posts:
OolSarahloO · 09/12/2023 16:44

Trust your gut. Sounds like they're feeding you crumbs of hope, but there might not be a cake at the end. Don't be afraid to ask for more specific feedback x

contactus · 09/12/2023 17:02

how long have you been employed at the company?

and as for leaving post qualification… worth checking your contract re repayment

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