Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Secret Santa in RAF

38 replies

Roiesin57 · 09/12/2023 12:44

Has anyone been in the armed forces & had to do a Secret Santa? My poor old young son has been at his first proper base after passing phase 2 & has only drawn put his female corporal. After 3 weeks he knows nothing about her, doesn't know if he should be rude, respectful, boring & generic. It usually comes out who has bought what. Budget is £10 - £15. Personally I think something nice that is not tat that ends up in landfill

OP posts:
Coolhwip · 09/12/2023 12:49

doesn't know if he should be rude, respectful, boring & generic.

He could be neither of those things and just be useful? Women are easy to buy for.

He can buy an oodie knock off on Amazon for £10.

FourLeggedBuckers · 09/12/2023 12:54

I really wouldn’t go for something rude or comic - if the culture is for that, and he buys something boring, he might get a bit of ribbing about being dull, but if the reverse is true he could put himself in a pretty dodgy situation.

I agree with something useful, but I’m not convinced about an oodie knock off or that women are genetically easily to buy for 😳

FourLeggedBuckers · 09/12/2023 12:54

Generically, not genetically 😂 Jesus…

RaininSummer · 09/12/2023 13:00

Buy something edible. Nice chocs or biscuits.

ThreeB · 09/12/2023 13:10

He needs to go with boring and generic at this stage. What does she drink in the office? Nice coffee and tea is always welcome in the office. Nice shower gel? Nice stationary/pens?

Coolhwip · 09/12/2023 13:19

FourLeggedBuckers · 09/12/2023 12:54

I really wouldn’t go for something rude or comic - if the culture is for that, and he buys something boring, he might get a bit of ribbing about being dull, but if the reverse is true he could put himself in a pretty dodgy situation.

I agree with something useful, but I’m not convinced about an oodie knock off or that women are genetically easily to buy for 😳

It’s a £10 budget, you’re not going to get designer gear for that 🤣

Why so pompous?

TheFairyCaravan · 09/12/2023 13:19

I’ve just asked DH did 35 yrs in the RAF and this is is what he said.

Don’t buy a corporal, who he know nothing about, something rude when he’s 3 weeks out of training. Get her something generic, like a box of chocolates, nice mug, bottle of wine or a nice pen. Definitely don’t go rude.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 09/12/2023 13:22

Whenever I’ve got someone I didn’t know in a secret Santa I’ve gone along to M&S and bought them bulbs in a pot. For £10 there’s plenty of choice too.

Twelveisthebestnumber · 09/12/2023 13:25

Ex services here. Bottle of cheap fizz and some chocolates. Better to be teased for being boring than disciplined for being disrespectful to a senior.

Mulberry2627 · 09/12/2023 15:06

My husband is a current serving officer in the RAF and he said he would get a rude gift. It's the forces, it will all be rude, especially other ranks!

mpsw · 09/12/2023 15:12

TheFairyCaravan · 09/12/2023 13:19

I’ve just asked DH did 35 yrs in the RAF and this is is what he said.

Don’t buy a corporal, who he know nothing about, something rude when he’s 3 weeks out of training. Get her something generic, like a box of chocolates, nice mug, bottle of wine or a nice pen. Definitely don’t go rude.

I was going to suggest a nice fluffy towel, but I think these ideas are better!

I'd add a good pair of running socks (you can never have too many of them!)

mpsw · 09/12/2023 15:20

Mulberry2627 · 09/12/2023 15:06

My husband is a current serving officer in the RAF and he said he would get a rude gift. It's the forces, it will all be rude, especially other ranks!

Very likely to be true!

But v difficult to hit the right note when it's your first time around, so I'd go safe this year.

Checked with DH too, and he agrees - go safe or go frivolous (but not rude)

Try looking on Amazon, searching Secret Santa under £10 for frivolous possibilities

gotomomo · 09/12/2023 15:25

I'd opt for a mug with something funny rather than cheeky on it, fill with chocolates (lidl have nice wrapped generic ones then a bottle of drink if not at budget (again I recommend Lidl Prosecco currently £5 with their discount app)

OrigamiOwl · 09/12/2023 15:38

Go safe - chocolates, hand cream, mug, something genetic. Having been there 3 weeks it isn't the time to risk anything rude.

cansu · 09/12/2023 15:40

Not something rude.

Gt86 · 09/12/2023 15:51

Alcohol is probably a safe bet

FourLeggedBuckers · 09/12/2023 16:14

Coolhwip · 09/12/2023 13:19

It’s a £10 budget, you’re not going to get designer gear for that 🤣

Why so pompous?

Show quote history

Designer? Pompous? I think you’re projecting onto my post 😂

However, since you wanted pompous:

There are plenty of useful things you can buy for a tenner than aren’t poorly made in sweat shops using ecologically damaging fabrics. Something by edible or drinkable would be a reasonable, useful and less horrific SS gift.

Coolblur · 09/12/2023 16:40

Gt86 · 09/12/2023 15:51

Alcohol is probably a safe bet

Alcohol is never a safe bet if you don't know the person, or even if you think you do.
People assume a bottle of wine or whatever is fine, but maybe they live with an alcoholic, or they grew up with one.
Boring and safe is best, especially when he's so new

MrsToothyBitch · 09/12/2023 16:49

Play it safe! Our budget is £10 at work, all female team and we're all just putting something in for a "bad santa" game so "generic female gift" is my vibe this year.

I've got a box of Lily O'Brien truffles from Waitrose for £4- they currently have offers /reductions on boxes of chocs- and I'm going to pick some bubble bath or body scrub from Sunday Rain at Oliver Bonas for £5 or £6. They have a few nice things for £12-£15 or he could combine toiletry items.

Iam4eels · 09/12/2023 16:49

Asda have the large Yankee Candle jars on sale at the moment for £8 each. I'd get a Christmas themed one of those and a box of chocolates.

wellingtonsandwaffles · 09/12/2023 18:08

How about

A plant in a nice pot - succulent / cactus keep better if overseas posted occasionally

a spinning candle tea light

some nice Christmas decorations

DinoDays · 09/12/2023 18:19

Mulberry2627 · 09/12/2023 15:06

My husband is a current serving officer in the RAF and he said he would get a rude gift. It's the forces, it will all be rude, especially other ranks!

Would he fuck! Especially as a recruit!!!

BoobyDazzler · 09/12/2023 18:42

A bottle of SJP Lovely costs about that and I don’t know a woman who doesn’t like it so it’s unlikely to end up in landfil. It’s not like she’s going to know who’s bought it, is she.

supersuss · 09/12/2023 18:49

Is there something regional to where he/your family is from? E.g. shortbread in a nice reusable tin of shortbread if you're Scottish, or pastel de nata if he has Portuguese heritage? That way it's somewhat personal and thoughtful...

Alltheusernamesaretakennow · 12/12/2023 15:56

I work with lots of ex military and this time last year, we had a new female colleague join. After only a couple of weeks we were doing the £10 Secret Santa and I had to get her something without really knowing her. Got her a Calendar which was a bit cheeky (but not too rude)! She loved it!