... to ask if you are in a sexually "compatible" relationship?

[NuNume4Dis]

If you are in a long term relationship, do you think you are sexually compatible?

I realize that what works for one couple may not work for another. For example, having vanilla PIV once per week might be way too much for one couple, and may too little for another couple, and both couples can be very happy.

I have a great DH in so many respects, fortunate with jobs, finances, health, kids and many many other things. But I think we're just very different with respect to sexual compatibility.

YABU: I'm in a LTR, and of course we're sexually compatible
YANBU: I'm in a LTR, and no we're not really sexually compatible :(

Note I'm not interested in any details. Just general comment and a yes/no/vote is OK.

No but as they say “opposites attract!”

My experience is that generally a relationships starts and evolves when people are sexually compatibile. But people and relationships do change over time.

I know you are not looking for details, but that is the aspect of my relationship I'm not happy with. So many good parts, but not that, and I sometimes wish I'd made different choices. DH is great in general, but I always have to initiate, he just does the basics, I have to ask him to do this or that. It really makes me unhappy.

Wishing you all the best OP!

YABU but we have only become compatible since my libido died on its arse. I don't think I've wanked for 10 years.

He's always had a very low sex drive and we haven't had sex since the last century. Still lots of cuddling and hand-holding though.

Wow! I'm surprised at the votes.

I'd assume that in a long term relationship with an intimate partner, you'd know what the other partners wants/likes/needs. My DH knows the type of foods I like, he knows the wine I like, he has a good idea on the type of presents I like, and he knows what I like in bed, etc. and mostly goes along with all those things :)

I also generally know what DH likes in life, and happy to go along with that ( sometimes more for him than for me, but I do like him to happy). Of course, it's a bit of effort sometimes, but it's good to make an effort in a relationship.

Yeah we’re compatible in the sense that we’re both absolutely knackered most of the time and would both say we wish we had more. When we do, I’ve no complaints at all and I'm fairly sure he feels the same.

@SwingTheMonkey I understand what you are point

Oh God yes.

But it's my third serious LTR, plus lots of extremely STRs, I'm in my 50s, I'm done raising kids, I'm financially independent so this relationship is my present to myself. I guess sex will evolve between us as these things always do, and 'compatible' can mean a lot of different things, but OMG it's good.

YANBU... he sees sex as a way to show love and affection. To me sex is a release and fun nothing to do with how I show love at all.

The only thing we disagree on is sex sadly but there's always something I guess!