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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Requesting more maintenance?

28 replies

ANONforthisone67374 · 09/12/2023 09:22

My ex earns more than when we originally agreed child maintenance. Am I being unreasonable to request we review the amount he pays? He's self employed so CMS isn't an option as my friend said they can just hide the money but is it worth the hassle of requesting we review it? My friend said there's no need for me to struggle when he could be paying more but I know he will just say I'm only after him for money bla bla

I don't know his exact wage but I would put it at about 3.5-4k a month he currently pays £600 for three children 7, 8 & 12 he has them maybe 2-4 max nights a month

Eta
I do also work part time but as I don't have childcare I can't work more hours. I do shift work 5am starts some shifts finish 1-2am so it's not easy to find childcare.

OP posts:
Stressfordays · 09/12/2023 11:22

If you know you can't have a reasonable conversation with him, I wouldn't rock the boat. Especially with someone who is self employed. Have you tried stroking his ego a bit? Say you're struggling and need his help? It's easy for them to take the maintenance away. I'm saying this as someone who (occasionally) received £29 a month maintenance from a narcissist.

Stressfordays · 09/12/2023 11:24

TealSapphire · 09/12/2023 11:21

Of course if he's earning more he should be paying more! Why the hell should you have to be behind each month while he's living the life?

Don't dance around it OP. 'The children's expenses are x amount more than I earn. We need to both contribute to their upbringing'.

I hate this concept that you should be eternally grateful for anything you get in child support. Particularly where the dad does no heavy lifting and has the kids minimal time. They're HIS bloody kids too.

That's fairly easy to do with a reasonable person. Dealing with someone who is not reasonable and can hide their income, not that easy.

TealSapphire · 09/12/2023 11:26

True @Stressfordays

My ex is not reasonable but he's at least only got one job and a regular salary. Self employed they can hide things.

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