To wonder if we all crave absent/biological parents

[Orangeandgold]

I recently reconnected with my dad who I haven’t seen since I was a teen. I’m now in my early 30s and I weirdly feel a sense of closure that I didn’t realise I needed. I don’t recall “longing” for him but I did identify that my parents divorce had a huge impact on how I dealt with and approached relationships (marriage is still a nightmare to me and I always choose independence - I am unlearning so much with my current partner).

However this has had me thinking about my own DD who I am also raising as a single mum. Her dad is around but inconsistent. She tells me it doesn’t bother her but as a mum you never really know! My DD gets on well with my partner (not her father) and Im also feeling nervous about taking the leap and becoming a blended family.

With this in mind I wonder if we all crave or yearn for parents that we do not know/see. AIBU in thinking there is a biological urge to always know. Or are there people that happily go without and can say an absent parent hasn’t affected them too much?

My experience is my children’s father is absent and they definitely feel sad about it and crave a father figure. I always get told it doesn’t bother kids but that’s not been my experience.

Seen my Dad once in my living memory (45 years).

Know exactly where he is, could contact him within 5 minutes if I wanted to.

Absolutely no interest whatsoever. No unresolved 'Daddy issues', no feeling of being 'less than' ... don't feel like my life is missing anything for him not being around.

I think there is, but my case is extreme as I spent my childhood basically wanting my mum. Then my teens, young adulthood and so on. It was engrained in my from before I could talk.