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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if you would pay this ?

41 replies

VioletSkies12 · 08/12/2023 14:36

SIL needs someone to come to the house to take her DD to nursery as her and brother both have times where their shifts are earlies. She found someone through one of the childcare sites who is looking for adhoc work to fit around other jobs, qualified, very experienced and an older sitter at age 39 and we were all pleased for her as we knew it was a big ask. Now she’s saying that she feels paying out £15 for the lady to do this is too expensive and has effectively ghosted this lady who was keen to help. Aibu to say she won’t get any better offer? To be clear she only needs adhoc help not permanent so a childminder won’t work and nursery obviously won’t open earlier for her.

OP posts:

GreatGateauxsby · 08/12/2023 16:40

VioletSkies12 · 08/12/2023 16:34

She was hoping a local childminder would want to do it which is ridiculous as it’s only adhoc work so of course that’s not an option.
She keeps saying she doesn’t want to pay £15 “just for the hour “. Ridiculous.

Do not help her when she is caught short which she will be.

just bonkers…

Dixiechickonhols · 08/12/2023 16:42

Seems very reasonable. Lady needs to come to house then take child to nursery. If she’s driving child she’ll need business insurance. It’s adhoc and anti social timing eg 6.30am.
My teen gets £10 hour babysitting.
Don’t be guilted into helping out if she can’t get anyone - she can get someone.

Notmetoo · 08/12/2023 16:45

She is lucky anyone is willing to do it at all. £15 isn't a huge amount and as it is hoc few people would want to sign up. Most childminders wouldn't as it means they would have to turn down more regular income

Agix · 08/12/2023 16:46

She wanted to pay £6 for an hour? Does she need reminding what minimum wage is...!

Purplecatshopaholic · 08/12/2023 16:47

Ooft, she won’t get a better deal and likely won’t get this lady to do it now. Very silly! And very rude to ghost the woman. Don’t help her out either, she made her bed..

Dixiechickonhols · 08/12/2023 16:47

I’d just make it clear you think it’s a great deal. I bet your SIL wouldn’t get up for £6.
It needs to be someone reliable otherwise your SIL won’t be able to go to work. Last thing you need is a sitter texting that they can’t come or overslept etc.
My dog walker is £13.50 an hour up north…

Notmetoo · 08/12/2023 16:55

VioletSkies12 · 08/12/2023 14:57

Yes just for the set hour which is a bargain in my eyes but I also agree that she shouldn’t ghost the woman. We have employed sitters and nannies for our DD and I wouldn’t ever do that .
I think she’s expecting a childminder will agree to do it adhoc for £6 or something. She’s unlikely now to get a better offer so more fool her.

Apart from anything else does she understand that childminders are running a business and that childminders don't go to clients houses. The parents take the children to the childminders house. They also have limits on how many children they can mind and most are in demand wth waiting lists so are not likely to accept a child on an ad hoc bais
It sounds as though she's clueless about how childcare works.

fuckssaaaaake · 08/12/2023 16:56

Lol, cleaners get paid that here! This is her flesh and blood! Wow

ManateeFair · 08/12/2023 16:56

Yeah, your SIL is being ridiculous if she thinks £15 is a lot of money for a one-hour ad-hoc childcare service. You're absolutely right that she's unlikely to get a better deal than that and also, ghosting the person is incredibly rude and childish of her.

However, I'm not really sure why your SIL's childcare arrangements are bothering you, as none of this should be your problem - is your concern here that if she doesn't get paid help, she's going to ask you to do it as favour? If so, definitely tell her no!

Dixiechickonhols · 08/12/2023 17:03

Is it her first dc?
What she’s wanting is a nanny for an hour occasionally.
It needs to be someone responsible. Responsible for baby, locking house up, possibly driving with baby in car.
Able to deal with emergencies eg baby sick on way to nursery or nursery won’t accept due to a rash etc - she can’t just say not my problem she’ll need to stay with baby until parent comes.

wudubelieveit · 08/12/2023 17:46

She might find someone local to do it, another mum for eg.(it’s the sort of thing I’d do for that £) but the likelihood she will find a DBS checked, experienced person is low…she needs to think who she wants to be responsible for her child.

itsmeagainagain · 08/12/2023 17:51

I can't get over the 'older sitter at 39' weeps quietly

Ellie1015 · 08/12/2023 18:03

A child minder charges £6 because they are watching a few children for at least a few hours if not full day you drop them there. Why would a childminder come to her home before the other kids arrive for £6???

Kayte198999 · 08/12/2023 18:14

Agix · 08/12/2023 16:46

She wanted to pay £6 for an hour? Does she need reminding what minimum wage is...!

Was going to say this. No one will price themselves lower than minimum wage because with travel it's genuinely not worth their time. Who does she think is qualified and experienced in anything and happy to work for £6ph?

Original poster

VioletSkies12 · 08/12/2023 18:53

Yeah she doesn’t seem to get it as in childminders charge less because of that reason and nannies are at a higher rate. I’ve heard it before with other mums when they have used babysitters or nannies to sit their kids adhoc “I can’t believe she charges £12 an hour, my childminder does it for £6!”
I am worried I will be roped into it but will hold firm.

OP posts:

Dixiechickonhols · 08/12/2023 20:48

Presumably you have your own dc to deal with and work to get to. I’d be quite firm it’s not possible for you to help.

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