To already be stressed about going back to work after maternity leave?

[Isitworththinkingabout]

It isn’t until July so I know I’m being a bit daft but I am a bit worried about how well my baby will settle into nursery and whether I should consider alternatives but I can’t think of a system that would work (I also have an older child.)

I keep wondering if I should not go back at all but I also know that’s not really the answer … does anyone use a nanny? How much do you pay on a daily basis?

Since you have an older child you already know that a baby changes massively in 7 months, and that there no reason to freak out now because you don’t know what is going to happen then. The fact that you do feel like this probably means that your hormones are still all over.
enjoy your maternity leave! Put your child down for a childminder/ nursery (just so that they are on the list!).
You don’t say how old your older child is… if you will need both in full time childcare a nanny might be cheaper…
however, do keep in mind that you will need to pay NI and pension contributions, so it is not just about how much the nanny earns, but also the extra contributions you need to make as their employer

I found a lovely child minder rather than a nursery. She had 30 years experience, and I liked the personal care. Plus my ds took to her immediately.

Perhaps have a look at child minders near your work.

Thanks. She’s got a place at the same nursery as the eldest but I don’t know how she’ll take to it, it’s great for older children but not sure for a baby 😭

Aw I feel you!
Im just back to work after my leave and my DD is in nursery! I prepped a lot for it so it wasn’t such a shock to the system for us both. Lots of settling in sessions and day time breastfeeds were cut down and replaced with meals. If you get organised now with their space at nursery and things to make it easier - you’ll enjoy your mat leave NOW so much better!
good luck!

Our daughter started at nursery recently just before her 1st birthday and I felt similar to you. She has taken a good 6 or so weeks to settle but she loves it now and I feel much better when I drop her off in the morning. I actually think it’s good for her to mix with the children and they do loads of activities that realistically I don’t do very often at home. Like someone else said, July is a long time off and she will be a different baby by then x

I understand.
You have to decide to not worry about it until June.
Decide, and stick with it. Push it out of your mind and say ‘I will worry about this in June’
Otherwise you will completely ruin your maternity leave.

My first started just after he turned 1. He absolutely loved it. I was actually a bit offended that he had to be prised out of there at the end of the day. He's 2.5 now and will run over and give me a hug now so worked out okay 😅. My second will be nearer 1.5 when he starts for affordability reasons as they are only 2 years apart, but I'm happy that this is the best place for them if they're not with me. As long as it's a good nursery you shouldn't worry.

It's never an abstract decision. There is no ultimate best option, it's the nanny you can find Vs the childminder who has spaces Vs the nursery which has spaces.

Nanny's were crazily more expensive for me, and although I liked my imaginary childminder my real options were not at all suitable whereas my real nurseries were amazing. Go and look, meet people, get on waiting lists and decide what's best.

Don’t borrow sorrow from tomorrow. Worry about this in May or June.

Absolutely don’t worry about it now, but definitely worth putting names down as I know the new funded hours coming up in April and September are causing our nursery to fill up.
You can decide later that you don’t want the space 🤷🏻‍♀️

^^

This is your practical reminder that you only need to give your employer 4 weeks notice of your intended return (or not), and so you still have loads of time. Don’t forget you can also have a flexible working request put in as a temporary arrangement to help ease you back in. Please don’t let this burden your Mat leave so early on :)

I really ruined the last few months of my mat leave worrying about this.
Had a clingy, breastfed, bottle refusing baby and made myself ill thinking about going back to work (but couldn’t afford not to) and honestly, the thought of going back was so much worse than when it actually came to doing it.
Was lucky enough to be able to go back part time and whilst we did have a rough couple of weeks initially, 2 months in he is so settled with the childminder and happily waves me off every morning.
I hope you make whatever is the right choice for your family, but they really are so adaptable and so much changes in just a few months!

How much older is the older one?

My older one was 4 and about to start school so my youngest goes to a childminder who also collects oldest from school. Easier for me as I only have to do one pick up and childminder is fab.

How old was your older child when they started that nursery? Will there be a big age difference between their starting ages?

Ds started nursery at 11 months. He was a little teary the first few days at pick up and drop off and i was worried about him settling in as he could be quite strange with other people at that stage and was very keen that I be close by or at least within sight. After 2 weeks he wasn't crying at pick up or drop off any more and now at 1 year he gets so excited when we pull into the car park and he sees where he is! He loves the staff and reaches for them smiling every morning and seems to genuinely have a really good time there. The staff are all lovely and seem really on the ball with everything. I would try it if I were you to see how you go and if after say a month (too allow for a reasonable settling in period) then you could look at childminders etc? I just don't think I'd manage multiple drop offs in the morning if they could be avoided. And July is lots of time to prepare yourself and baby.