AIBU -Feeling guilty over 2 sick days in 3 monrhs

[roofusdoofus]

Hi,

I started a new job 3 months ago but have called in sick twice, and feel guilty about it. I’m riddled with anxiety that it will effect my performance.

1.5 months in, I left one evening early with a migraine caused by wisdom teeth and an abscess and decided to call in sick the following day. I produced a doctors cert, but HR did a wellbeing call out to me to make sure I was ok as it was a coincidence I was off sick after having met her (a meeting where I found my job role and location changed with little notice) while her concerns were valid, they also made me feel anxious. A wellbeing call the day of calling in sick is a bit overwhelming!

I’m now 3 months into the job and I decided to call in sick this morning. I went out last weekend (managers are aware) and ended up with no voice (self-inflicted) Monday and Tuesday, and then woke up with a cold Wednesday. I honestly struggled to stay awake in work yesterday, but when I was “conscious” - I kept sneezing (the ones that make your back and shoulders ache), and my head was pounding so I just couldn’t do the same again today!

The onsite manager knows I’m 100% sick but I’m worried my actual manager (based in a different location) might think I’m exaggerating because I recently expressed I was growing frustrated with my colleagues. Our entire team is leaving in the new year and they’ve already checked out, they’re not contributing to work, and consequently as the only lasting member - the workload falls to me, and I am feeling total burnout doing the work of 3 people.

AIBU to be so anxious? I am genuinely sick but both times have been around “major” work conversations also so I am worried. I’m also concious 2 days within 3 months is a lot and some friends who work in HR said you should try to never have a sick day during probation!!

People usually can’t help being unwell (with a few exceptions e.g. hangovers).

But it sounds like your workload is unreasonable. If that’s the case, perhaps stress and exhaustion are making you unwell, and that’s a management issue.

I get why you're worried but 2 days in 3 months isn't ideal but it's not obscene either, it's just how things happen sometimes. Most employers would be ok with it when they know it's genuine which yours is. It's not like you just disappeared and said "I'm sick". The first time you have a clear issue that you were able to evidence and the second time you were visibly unwell in front of people. Some people can be judgemental about sick time in probation but, as long as you're doing the job well and you're showing yourself to be competent you should be fine. Also, if the rest of he team are leaving, it doesn't sound like they'll be wanting to get rid of someone else who's up to speed on the work.

It sounds like the biggest problem is your anxiety and you might want to focus your attention on getting some support/strategies in place for that. When you talked about being unwell the second time and saying it was your own fault for going out the previous weekend, I'm not sure how that's true? It's not as if you went out on a bender and then abandoned work with a hangover. You caught something and developed a bad cold. There's no fault there, that's just a fact of life. You could have done that going to the supermarket. You might even have caught it in work.

You also say you're riddled with anxiety that the sickness will affect your performance. Has it? Did you catch up with your work each time? I don't think it's the absence that's likely to be affecting your performance, it's the riddled with anxiety part.

If there's any way you can reach out and get support, it could help a lot. Does your work have an employee counselling scheme? Many do and it's confidential so your bosses would never know. Even speaking to HR about it might be worthwhile if you feel like they're approachable.

I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed about this, I hope it gets better.

I find so-called well being checks, when you're off sick, very intrusive. I had one (terrible) manager in the past who used to do this, call me on my personal mobile at 3pm on my sick day to "check in" and ask if [apply pressure] I'd be well enough to come in the next day. I remember once picking up the phone so ill I couldn't understand who he was.

Find another job at some point, this one sounds toxic