Have I got no social skills?

[roselemonade23]

Exactly this really, bit embarrassing but I have struggled lately. I have two amazing DDs (4&2) and returned to work, I'm trying to network and meet new people. Also we recently moved house. But I feel like I lack basic social confidence lately.

Have joined a book group, met mums outside nursery and chatted, done local networking but still feel... Off? I don't know.

Anyone else find it hard to not overshare, or worry about coming across badly. Does anyone have tips for making a good impression when you're exhausted, nervous and just a bit of a tw*t sometimes?

Thanks 💐

Firstly - mindset. Remind yourself that you're comparing how you feel in work to how you felt when you were last in work - but that was before you had 2 young DCs. I feel a bit apprehensive going back to work after two weeks on holiday, let alone possibly years out of the workplace!! So be gentle to yourself, it takes time to figure out who you are now - a mum, a career woman, a person whose life has been turned upside down in the last couple of years plus a house move as well.

Secondly - This is the definition of a situation where "fake it till you make it" applies. You're doing a brilliant job already with the book group, chatting to other mums etc but if you're worried you're oversharing and nervous always try and play the questions game where if they ask you what you're doing over christmas, tell them and then ask them and listen to the answer and try and ask a follow up question relevant to what they said. Sometimes when people are nervous they talk a lot and don't listen because they're nervously trying to wait for a gap in the conversation that they will nervously plug with more words. The solution is to remind yourself to listen to the person and ask them LOTS of questions. People love talking about themselves!

You've got plenty of social skills, just be nicer to yourself while you build up your confidence a bit after a big life change of having kids and then going back to work.

I always used to babble a bit, but tbh you eventually find your tribe. It just gets harder as you get older i think.

Everyone feels self conscious like that at first I think. You need to keep going and eventually some of the acquaintances will become real friends and you won't feel awkward anymore. You're doing the right thing! Bet noone thinks you're a twat.