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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I accidentally stole an entire big shop

624 replies

Rayoffingsunshine · 07/12/2023 20:17

I spent about £95 on a big shop 3 weeks ago. I went through the scan and go. I had my two boys with me (2 and 3 months) and I paid using contactless. I didn't grab the receipt which I didn't notice until I got home and was annoyed because the supermarket had an offer for money off voucher if you spend so much that I had intended to grab but only realised I didn't have it when I got home.
I budget everything and wrote the shop on my budget app straight away so I noticed the discrepancy on my account within a few days. I thought it was just taking a little longer than normal to process but 3 weeks later there's still no record of it. I've checked every account I have including my husband's just in case I had his card though I'm certain it was just my day to day debit card. The only thing I can think is that the payment didn't process and I just didn't notice and walked straight out. But surely someone would have stopped me! I remember a friend telling me once, with a tiny shop, just a quick lunch on the go kind of shop, this happened to her once and she was stopped in the car park by security. I don't understand how this has happened. I wouldn't have been quick to leave because my 2 year old moves at a snails pace.

If I go and talk to customer service in the shop will they believe that is was a genuine mistake and just let me pay for it or will I get in trouble?

OP posts:
smileannie · 08/12/2023 21:12

Tough one as you are obviously an honest person and it will nag at your conscience if you don’t do anything about it. I think I would have to contact the manager of the shop and see what they say. Don’t stress to much though, it’s done (and presumably eaten) now.

BlueMongoose · 08/12/2023 21:13

Bloodyel · 08/12/2023 20:44

My point is that morality depends on how the majority of people are affected, and the minority shareholders won't pull enough heartstrings to make the public care about theft in this situation.

Show quote history

Theft is theft whoever you steal from. In any case, if big companies lose through theft, they just charge honest customers more, not shareholders.
If the op just explains that she only realised afterwards and asks how to pay, then that's honest.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/12/2023 21:13

Bloodyel · 08/12/2023 20:34

Supermarkets made record profits during the pandemic and passed precisely none of it onto their store workers. They reap what they sow.

The corporations do not pay, @Bloodyel - the customers do. A percentage of every price is to cover shrinkage - loss through theft, breakage, spoilage, and accidents like the OP made, for example. So every honest customer pays for the shoplifters. We all pay for mistakes like the OP’s.

Kissmystarfish · 08/12/2023 21:20

Pay it forward

Bloodyel · 08/12/2023 21:25

Part of the price of food/supermarket goods is due to covering loss and part is also greed. Neither of these compel the OP to pay up or for the average person to give a toss. On a lighthearted note OP YABU for calling a £95 shop a big one, that cost barely covers several meals these days 😂

likethislikethat · 08/12/2023 21:26

Life gave you a bonus, forget about it.

HedgehogB · 08/12/2023 21:32

StarlightLime · 07/12/2023 20:31

🙄

Show quote history

I know, horrendous attitude

weechubby · 08/12/2023 21:32

Helenahandkart · 07/12/2023 20:25

I like the idea of paying it forward to the food bank, but I’d be concerned that the tills have cameras on and the shop may have a record of you not paying and walking out. You don’t want to get banned from your regular supermarket.
I’m sure they would be amazed if you went back and tried to pay, and I doubt you would get in trouble.

This. You will have been clocked on CCTV so I'd be honest and say it was a mistake

weechubby · 08/12/2023 21:34

Also, surely they will be able to trace the abandoned payment back to
Your club card ?

BigMarla · 08/12/2023 21:35

Bloodyel · 08/12/2023 21:25

Part of the price of food/supermarket goods is due to covering loss and part is also greed. Neither of these compel the OP to pay up or for the average person to give a toss. On a lighthearted note OP YABU for calling a £95 shop a big one, that cost barely covers several meals these days 😂

Actually to some of us that is an awful lot of money and definitely counts as a ‘big shop’…

Abbyant · 08/12/2023 21:39

Something similar happened with my sister she passed 3 bottles of alcohol to the staff to have the alarm taken off but forgot she hadn’t scanned them, she thought she’d be banned for life but she’s been to the supermarket again several times and nothings happened. I would take it as the blessing that it is.

babyproblems · 08/12/2023 21:40

I would just sit tight for another few weeks and if I heard nothing, I’d donate some money to charity. Then forget it. You didn’t mean to do it! Don’t beat yourself up. If I did this I wouldn’t have even noticed probably!! I’m sure this has happened many times with contactless payments and people haven’t noticed. Do a good deed and move on.

TBJazz · 08/12/2023 21:43

Some bad advice going on here. Technically it is theft, giving to a food bank whilst noble doesn't cover the legal responsibility. I own a store and would be miffed to think a customer had gone through without paying for £100 of goods and on finding out their 'mistake' did nothing about it and then kept the goods that were technically still mine at that stage they are a thief. and have knowingly kept the goods without paying. Think if you were on a bus and found someones bag with their address and money in it, would you take the money and go spend it or hand it in? Call them up explain what has happened and offer to pay them or suggest a 'donation' to a food bank/other charity if they were in agreement. This would be the most ethical approach. It is highly unlikely you would be pursued by the police/supermarket they do little about shoplifting as everyone knows, but at least you have done the right thing.

BigMarla · 08/12/2023 21:45

So @Rayoffingsunshine, what did you decide to do in the end?

Poodleydoodley · 08/12/2023 21:48

If it was a small independent shop I’d go back and pay. A big chain shop - no I’d take the win.

greenbeansnspinach · 08/12/2023 21:51

On the basis that it’s ok because it’s a huge company, suppose it was a small shop - but we knew the owner wasn’t a nice person? Are we allowed to make judgements about when and towards whom we need to be honest ?

PippEmma · 08/12/2023 21:53

Go back and pay, it's theft.

GrannyRose15 · 08/12/2023 22:07

Go back explain the situation and pay. If you let it go it will be so much easier to do it a second time - this time only half accidentally. It’s easy to become a thief. Far harder to do the right thing.

Isinglass20 · 08/12/2023 22:08

Get with the tech. Pavillion1.

Justfinking · 08/12/2023 22:10

I guess think of it the other way OP, if you had accidentally been charged twice would you be happy for them to 'let it go' or donate the money to charity on your behalf?

Huxley1234 · 08/12/2023 22:10

This happened to my husband and he realised the following day that it didn’t show on his bank statement. He phoned the store and explained. They thanked him for his honesty and told him to forget it.

pavillion1 · 08/12/2023 22:13

Isinglass20 · 08/12/2023 22:08

Get with the tech. Pavillion1.

i work for them

Laurendelaney1987 · 08/12/2023 22:21

Gowlbag · 07/12/2023 20:32

I am always so delighted when someone comes back when they’ve realised they accidentally didn’t pay.
It does happen, if the person on the scan as you shop tills isn’t paying attention or is busy serving a cash customer. It will have been noticed and the cameras checked to see what happened. It will have been obvious you tried to pay and walked away without noticing. The assistant will have gotten in trouble for it, possibly had disciplinary action and it is a weight off their mind if the customer comes back to fix their mistake.

It’s all very well saying the supermarket can afford, it but those of you who just tap and walk without waiting to see if it’s gone through are responsible for the operators getting in trouble with their managers.
You won’t be in trouble, the store will just be very pleased and won’t feel they have to watch you like a hawk next time.

Actually, it’s the supermarket who are responsible for not having enough bloody employees at the scanning area. I’ve walked out of Markies a few times and just left the stuff because I’ve been stuck with the scan and I can’t find an employee as they are dealing with about 20 other things

Worriedmother123 · 08/12/2023 22:29

FatFatMary · 07/12/2023 21:35

There’s a difference between you doing this to a person and a corporation though

@FatFatMary theft is theft regardless of where or who it happens to.

LaurieStrode · 08/12/2023 22:31

Justfinking · 08/12/2023 22:10

I guess think of it the other way OP, if you had accidentally been charged twice would you be happy for them to 'let it go' or donate the money to charity on your behalf?

Bingo!
Of course they wouldn't; with thieves it only works one way: in their favour.

As I said above, if their employer had a "glitch" that resulted in them missing a week's pay, would they be happy to "let it go" because after all, the employer "tried" and "was distracted" ???