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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Made to pay for a bag in the supermarket

698 replies

christmasfoodshop · 07/12/2023 12:43

Just picked up a few bits for Xmas food shop.

Had baby with me and she was tired so getting a bit irritable.

Scanned all my shopping at self checkout, ended up with a quite a lot more than I needed (as you do).

Baby crying. Paid for my shopping.

Realised I needed a bag at this point so got one and put all my stuff in there.

Go to walk out.

The shop assistant said I needed to pay for a bag. Fair enough.

She said I had to rescan it.

Baby now screaming and wriggling out my arms. Heavy bag of shopping in the other hand.

She made me wait there until she'd scanned a bag, pressed 'check-out' , selected 'pay by card' and then I had to scan. All for bloody 30p.

In hindsight, I do understand I had to pay for the bag but I was so bloody frustrated and just wanted to get out of there that I paid 30p for the bag and stormed off. Left my giant trolley in the middle of self checkout. I was at my wits end. I felt like I was at school being held back by the teacher.

It's 30 bloody pence. Let me go!!

She acted like she was earning money out of making people pay for bags.

YABU - everyone ALWAYS must pay for bags no matter what

YANBU - in the circumstance, she should have just let me go all for the sake of 30p plastic bag.

OP posts:
GoodLooking4MyAge · 07/12/2023 14:28

Yabu

theDudesmummy · 07/12/2023 14:28

So you think you should be allowed to steal something from a shop because your baby is crying?

SmallestInTheClass · 07/12/2023 14:28

YABU

Ploctopus · 07/12/2023 14:29

Brefugee · 07/12/2023 12:44

screaming baby isn't an excuse to have a free bag. I realise you are probably frazzled and grumpy. Let it go. And try to remember a bag in future.

This is such a neat encapsulation of how absolutely fucking weird the UK has become as a society. The idea that any normal, kind, well-adjusted person would think it’s more important to prioritise a gigantic supermarket which regularly gouges customers on prices and treats it’s staff like shit getting 30p than that a frazzled mother with a crying baby be given a tiny bit of a break to help her out in a stressful situation is so insane to me, and yet this attitude is everywhere now.

A small degree of empathy and kindness goes a long way, but these days (perhaps just on mumsnet?) you’ll see posters fall over themselves to explain in supercilious tones why you never deserve even a scrap of consideration.

The kind of society I would like to live in is one where a supermarket says ‘hey it’s ok - have a bag on us since you’re clearly in a stressful situation and could use a tiny bit of help.’ Doesn’t seem like that much to ask, and yet…

Cakeandcardio · 07/12/2023 14:29

Other stuff costs 30p too. Not sure why she should let it go.

agent765 · 07/12/2023 14:30

WimbyAce · 07/12/2023 14:18

I know it's a fricking bag! 🙈🙈

Show quote history

A bag that everyone else pays for if they need it. Why should OP be any different?

I doubt she realised that taking a bag without paying (like everyone else does) is technically theft but it is.

Small shopkeepers and shop staff are aware of the losses that shops incur through small acts of theft over time. The bigger shops deal with it by putting up prices for us all, the smaller ones have to close as they can't afford it anymore.

I was in school with a girl who always stole eye pencils from Woolies by sliding them up her sleeve. I remember reading about her being up in court for theft years later as her "only a pencil" habit got a lot bigger.

AmyDudley · 07/12/2023 14:30

It's like another planet on here. Have all of you lot criticising OP never not paid for a bag? I bet you've all done it.

I've never stolen anything in my life, I see not pinching stuff as normal behaviour practised by any decent person, clearly you see stealing as the norm and honesty as an aberration.

WombatChocolate · 07/12/2023 14:31

It’s fine to have felt frustrated and overwhelmed by everything - the crying wriggling baby, the need to go and get a bag and the delay getting out due to have to have the bag scanned, get your purse out and pay. All frustrating.

However, it wasn’t the shop assistants fault and the policy is you have to pay for the bag. If it had been an item of shopping, you’d expect to pay for it and have it scanned if you’d forgotten to scan 1 item.

So, I agree the whole thing was annoying and difficult for you. Shopping with babies and toddlers often is. I often find I don’t have enough bags and end up trying to carry an armful of shopping to avoid going to get another bag and it’s all annoying. But it’s just one of those things. Shops need to make sure the bags are easily available near the check-out but beyond that it’s the customers responsibility to manage their stuff,
purchases, children and bags. But I think we all know shopping with small children is rarely easy and anyone can feel flustered by the time they get home and in a bad mood. Most of us have been there. Wasn’t the shop assistants fault though and they probably just didn’t have the authority to wave you through with a free bag.

Possibly a manager would have been able to make that choice and give you a. Smoother exit out if the shop…possibly not.

skippy67 · 07/12/2023 14:32

YABU

Elodieboop · 07/12/2023 14:32

I steal carrier bags all the time, but if I got pulled up on it I'd just pay it and move on with my day. I've just left Next in a huff (without stealing a bag) because of a screaming baby so I get it, but that's not the shop assistants fault.

Hellzbellz25 · 07/12/2023 14:33

You couldn't walk out with a 30p bag of crisps because your baby is screaming so why a bag? Ffs people make me laugh!

Octowussy · 07/12/2023 14:33

Can I borrow your baby? I need a new car

girlfriend44 · 07/12/2023 14:35

just get organised and take a bag or bags with you.
Paying for a bag has been around for ages.

CasaAmarela · 07/12/2023 14:36

AmyDudley · 07/12/2023 14:30

It's like another planet on here. Have all of you lot criticising OP never not paid for a bag? I bet you've all done it.

I've never stolen anything in my life, I see not pinching stuff as normal behaviour practised by any decent person, clearly you see stealing as the norm and honesty as an aberration.

😂😂😂

Ardith · 07/12/2023 14:37

Whether you shoplift an iPad or a plastic bag, the shop’s employees still aren’t authorised to approve shoplifting and it is actually part of their job to stop it. To you it’s just a bag, to the employee it’s shoplifting and if they ignore it they could get in serious trouble.

Many supermarkets have a pile of cardboard boxes available free for those who don’t want to buy bags and haven’t bothered to bring enough to carry all their shopping.

Hope your baby is feeling better now.

CellophaneFlower · 07/12/2023 14:38

Here's a tip for next time: When you have a "giant" trolley, a baby and a heavy bag of shopping, put the bag IN the trolley, then you can pay for your bag. Literally have no idea why you would be attempting to walk out a shop with a baby in 1 arm, bag in the other whilst pushing an empty trolley 🤷

Unbego · 07/12/2023 14:38

Ploctopus · 07/12/2023 14:29

This is such a neat encapsulation of how absolutely fucking weird the UK has become as a society. The idea that any normal, kind, well-adjusted person would think it’s more important to prioritise a gigantic supermarket which regularly gouges customers on prices and treats it’s staff like shit getting 30p than that a frazzled mother with a crying baby be given a tiny bit of a break to help her out in a stressful situation is so insane to me, and yet this attitude is everywhere now.

A small degree of empathy and kindness goes a long way, but these days (perhaps just on mumsnet?) you’ll see posters fall over themselves to explain in supercilious tones why you never deserve even a scrap of consideration.

The kind of society I would like to live in is one where a supermarket says ‘hey it’s ok - have a bag on us since you’re clearly in a stressful situation and could use a tiny bit of help.’ Doesn’t seem like that much to ask, and yet…

Show quote history

I agree.

There's a certain spitefulness and dog in the manger attitude around a lot of contemporary discourse - a lot of "serves you right" when someone comes a bit of a cropper. I think we're all rightly feeling squeezed and put upon by the current economic and political situation. Unfortunately rather than look at why/how this is actually happening we're instead losing the capacity to properly see those around us.

vickyq1983 · 07/12/2023 14:39

Find it odd you think you should be able to have a free bag because you have a crying baby?

Mamadothehump · 07/12/2023 14:40

Feeling so much second hand embarrassment for you right now!

VimtoVimto · 07/12/2023 14:40

I’m not sure if I misunderstood but you’d already paid for your shopping so why abandon it.

PieAndLattes · 07/12/2023 14:40

I’m taking my baby into Chanel and giving her a good pinch. Maybe I can get a free bag when she kicks off.

Kisskiss · 07/12/2023 14:41

YABU and entitled and quite mean to the shop assistant, who is just doing her job! Charging for those bags is by law, and you were technically shoplifting when you tried to walk off without paying…

Kisskiss · 07/12/2023 14:42

Unbego · 07/12/2023 14:38

I agree.

There's a certain spitefulness and dog in the manger attitude around a lot of contemporary discourse - a lot of "serves you right" when someone comes a bit of a cropper. I think we're all rightly feeling squeezed and put upon by the current economic and political situation. Unfortunately rather than look at why/how this is actually happening we're instead losing the capacity to properly see those around us.

Edited
Show quote history

Yea but she wasn’t v kind or empathetic to the poor lady working in the store

alltoomuchrightnow · 07/12/2023 14:45

This is why I want to leave retail (not about bags. I'm not on tills..but entitled parents in general). The usual 'but she's just a kid' when said child pulls down my new display for eg and I've got an inspection that day ..the usual stealing from the swedish food market (oh that's a giveaway as to where ;) ) to shut the kiddies up, then throw the wrappers on the floor, without paying.. (not saying OP is this bad...!)

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 07/12/2023 14:46

I don't understand this post at all.

Bags in supermarkets are no longer free. You needed a bag. You did not have a bag. Therefore you needed to pay for one. What's the issue, exactly?