DH used to go and sleep in the spare room after an argument, instead of sleeping in our bed. He doesn't do it as much in a sulking way anymore, but since DD arrived he's started sleeping there to get a better night's sleep.
We take it in turns to look after her at night. Last night when she woke up, he was on duty, and it's me tonight. When we're not on duty, we still get woken up, but not needing to get out of bed means we get a better night's sleep every other night. It's a godsend.
He's started sleeping in the spare room a couple of nights a week to get a better night's sleep, to avoid the screams coming through the monitor in our room. Fair enough. But, he only goes there when I'm on duty. When he's on duty, he sleeps in our room, meaning I hear every squeal.
AIBU to feel aggrieved at this? Talking to some friends, maybe I should be grateful DH takes it in turns with me at all. And theoretically I could go to the spare room when I'm not on duty, but over time it's established itself as 'his' room unless there are visitors staying, and really I can't stand the spare bed mattress, I wouldn't sleep well there anyway.
I'm pretty sure if I raise this with him he'll take it personally, like I don't want to share a bed with him. The fact he cherry picks when to sleep in our bed won't matter. That thing we all do where we judge/criticise someone else for an action while excusing ourselves for doing exactly the same, he does that to the extreme.
It doesn't feel like there's a solution to this that doesn't cause more upset than leaving things as they are. Do I just accept it for what it is?