Christmas as a Christian

[Bleakmidwinter1977]

Those of you who are celebrating Christmas, and consider yourself to be Christian...just wondering why you do, and what parts you opt out of/in to?

Asking as I'm interested, not because I have an opinion either way.

Me too! Which way did you mean @LaurieFairyCake ? I like it as in loads of God!

We go to church every week. I volunteer in the kids groups. We loved the christingle service. We will donate more to the food bank, we have enough kitch Christmas decorations to keep anyone happy but also a nativity scene.
I have 2 Hindu colleagues who put up a tree and they like the look of it and want to be part of traditions in the UK (immigrated here a few years ago).
We celebrate Father Christmas and sing Happy birthday to Jesus. Its not an all or nothing. We should bring joy to others all year.

A lovely post. Having made a few comments on a thread from an atheist point of view it lead me to this one. The reason I'm highlighting this post is to ask how others feel when regular church attenders use phrases like 'We are always glad to see people in church, even if Christmas is the only time they come'
I don't like hearing this. It reminds me of a time in church when someone speaking at a church gathering said 'may I extend a warm welcome to the strangers among us' I believe comments like this only add to the feeling of we own this space you are only a guest. People who attend church once year belong there as much as regular attenders. I understand regular attenders are involved with fund raising and all that goes along with membership. I still don't think it gives them the right to suggest non regulars are different. They have a right to feel it's their space too.They should never be made to feel like I'm entering into someone else's house. I also think this is the attitude that puts people off going to church to the extent they feel like intruders. Although I have great respect for regular attenders and those who contribute to church life, perhaps this is something that should be considered before saying things like WE always make people feel welcome even if they only attend once a year. Food for thought.

I think you've misunderstood. @KrisAkabusi - the OP's husband is fixated on his own disapproval of Christmas trees, Santa etc because he considers them to be pagan. The OP thinks his disapproval is sucking the joy out of the season. The OP isn't saying Christmas trees are bad!

OP, it sounds like your husband is becoming increasingly fundamentalist in his approach to Christianity. I once had the very odd experience of looking around an English cathedral (C of E) a few days before Christmas while an American mother and her kids were also looking around. The mother was obviously genuinely interested in the history and architecture but was also keen to explain to her children why people who have Christmas trees and worship in elaborately decorated churches are not real Christians and have been seduced by the evils of paganism and idolatry.

I think my answer to your husband would be that of course Christmas trees are not in themselves Christian, but that doesn't mean you can't have them alongside Christian worship and belief. Christians are allowed to take part in secular traditions; saying you can't decorate your house at Christmas because decorations have nothing to do with Christianity is just odd. Lots of the nice things you have in your life aren't anything to with Christianity but I assume he doesn't bar you from, eg, enjoying secular leisure activities.

I am working my way through an advent bible reading plan and hope to make it to church over christmas. Missed last year due to having flu and year before ended up on xmas eve going for meal with DH and DSD instead. I really hoped we could but I had already mentioned and didn't want to push the subject. They aren't believers so it always feels a little awkward, I hope to make it this year as I've missed last 2 years and I miss going to church over christmas as for me that's really central and makes me feel properly christmassy! I will go with mum and dad or on my own but don't expect them to come with.

Our church has Father Christmas giving out presents in our Christmas Eve Carol service - proper presents as we live in a really diverse community and some children may not get much in the way of gifts

It's an important part of our giving to the community and costs us about £500 a year

On reflection, when I said I've posted on a thread from an atheist point of view, I should clarify I'm a firm believer. I was a member of church for many years & involved with most aspects. I moved house to a different area and haven't joined the local church, although I may one day. As previously mentioned its comments that give the impression of regular church attenders being a clique that makes non regular attenders 'feel welcome' that puts people off. A church should be a place where anyone can come and go as they please. They don't need to feel welcomed by regulars when they may just take the notion to go along. It's possible regulars may feel a sense of entitlement & ownership the more they contribute. This is a choice many people dont have for various reasons such as illness, social anxiety, work commitments, family commitments.etc. To turn this into those people are made to 'feel welcome' is simply wrong so my message to regulars remains. The church is not yours to welcome anyone. Please treat everyone the same as if the church is there for all who care to go once a week or once a year. Those who have the privilege of giving time and effort to contribute to church life should be respected. This doesn't give them the right to assume ownership.

I'm Eastern Orthodox and we have a 40 Advent fast in the lead up to Christmas Day so we definitely appreciate the food and wine when we can eat normally again 😄

As a family, we sing in the choir, so have extra services to attend and we get to sing carols and the church is decorated. The children receive a Christmas bag with some treats in.

We don't go overboard with presents and there's no focus on consumerism. We visit friends and have meals, treats and coffee etc.

Our main religious event is Easter, so Christmas is a bit more low key, but it's always a nice time of year as we celebrate The Saviour's birth 🤗🙏🏻☦️🕊️

That's a really interesting perspective. In our church the person who leads the service always says something along the lines of 'It's great to see everyone. If you are here for the first time or are just visiting, please do come downstairs for tea and coffee after the service.' which I think is not a message to say 'you don't belong here' but a message to say 'you are welcome here'.

@Bleakmidwinter1977 I was listening to this song the other day and it reminded me how amazing the birth of Jesus was

It sounds like you need to find a balance in your house and your DH needs to be reminded that joy and happiness are an overflowing of the celebration of Jesus' birth.

This sounds like a respectful way to say it although I still dont feel there is any requirement to differentiate 'visitors' or 'first timers'
I'd prefer to hear something along the lines of its great to see everyone and please all join us for tea & coffee😊

On the subject and without wanting to appear picky, I also don't like the way some churches have people at the church door before a service to welcome me in as if I'm entering their space. I want to walk in quietly and leave quietly with the opportunity to attend teas & coffees if desired.

While I'm here I will add another perspective on noise before the service. This with the exception of children should be a time for peace & reflection. Many people treat it like a big catch up and the noise is akin to attending the theatre before the show starts. If you wish to have a good chat Please leave the hubbub until teas & coffees are served. 😊

@Butterflywings18 I think you need to pick your church, tbh. Different churches have different styles.

I hear what you are saying, but if there wasn't a cohort of people who go all year, the church (building at least) wouldn't be there at Christmas. Would you rather be welcomed or ignored?

I don't see it as any different to say, the WI welcoming new members.

I've never heard people referred to as "strangers" - that does feel odd to me.

We have a Christmas tree, decorated with lights, baubles and a star. We don't use Father Christmas or fairies or elves in any of our decorations or wrapping paper/cards etc. We have a nativity scene stuck to our window and another one of figures inside. We are going to a carol service. The kids used to like pretending that Father Christmas was coming, but only because they wanted to do stuff their friends were doing, like leaving him a mince pie. We always told them he wasn't real. We read the Christmas story on Christmas morning before opening presents.

We have an angel on the top of our tree, definitely not a fairy.
And a lovely plain wooden nativity set, to remind us of the humility of Jesus' birth.

I made the point that the people who attend all year should be highly respected and the church couldn't exist without them. My thoughts are your not getting my point. Regulars inferring verbally or in writing visitors and non regulars are welcome promotes a sense of ownership. In reality people should feel free walk into a church without the necessity to make it a social occasion especially if all they want to do is sit quietly, reflect and pray. Of course regulars should recognise and say hello if a face is unknown. If that person walking in wants to take it further they will. At the end of the day everyone is a visitor to church and nobody should be made to feel they are walking into someone else's space.

That’s such a powerful message. And a very timely reminder.

Interesting questions and reactions to the use of a church for Christmas based activities. This can be for services and worship, which are a mixture of reflective and joyful, hopeful, in this season. However, there can be a lot more that is (for example) meeting need, that also goes on as it does in other seasons, such as food bank, drink or drug counselling, warm spaces, people in trouble or grief who need support. Not only does the winter often show these things to be really needed, perhaps more than the warmer months if anything, but the core of the Christmas story has all of this in there to ask that in your life you should aim to keep looking outward, be less hedonistic, careful of judgements, and show more love and hope, really. The general image of the festival is very family-centred and this can be great, but it can also be extra levels of painful for people who don't have that, or who have lost family.

The phrase: "wondering >why< you do (celebrate)" from the OP was interesting - made me think. I'm not always that joyful (that much might be obvious!) but I am hopeful and there are usually quite a lot of points through Advent when I am brought down to realise I (and the average person too) am/are vulnerable, and need hope, other people, less cynicism, etc. And also that I'm lucky. Even if there are years when I would rather rage at unfairness, or whatever. So it does get through to the heart.

Like others, the singing is what I would miss the most if I did not have that opportunity. I may not, always - as I get older my voice is not what it was, so even that might have to join the 'vulnerability and only human' reminder.

I've worked in some multicultural places and have had nice, though not OTT, staff lunches (perfect) where we just have a good time together. I really like hearing about how other colleagues following other faiths do things like carol singing or equivalent, and celebrations such as Ramadan and Eid and the things that I've found out from these. I love the different varieties of dates connected to Eid, that some colleagues didn't like so much! Definitely feel like a treat.

We have a Christmas tree, do other fun outings if we can, although the time for them is squeezed in favour of work, it's true.

For me, the Nativity set is the forefront of my decorations. I always look for an Advent calendar with a Nativity scene on it and many of my Christmas cards are biblically based. We have a tree and a few other items. When our children were small, Father Christmas visited, but as soon as they started questioning his son existence, we were happy to let them know the truth because we were far more concerned that they should believe in the real truth of Jesus. Church is very important during Advent and Christmas - pivotal in fact. As a musician, I am always very busy and I love playing the traditional carols. My absolute favourite is the Sussex Carol: On Christmas Night All Christians Sing. We also remember that Christmas is just the beginning - the story of Christ goes far beyond and Easter is the biggest celebration for Christians. We also believe that He is coming again.

That’s wonderful, What do you mean when you say that. Do you believe Jesus is the sun of God and that raised him from the dead to save us from our sin?

I opt out of starting to celebrate on (or even before) 1st December. Advent is a period of reflective preparation, not of celebration. I also opt out of stopping celebrating when Christmas has barely started because I've got bored of it.

I take joy and comfort from decorations that remind me of the light and life found in Christ - candles, lights, warm colours, and evergreen foliage in the depths of winter - and in beautiful music especially that which makes me feel connected with generations who have celebrated before. Incidentally, I think these are also aspects which could also be meaningful for those who are not religious.

That’s interesting, @Butterflywings18

We tread a fine line between ignoring people and emphasising their newness, it seems.

We try to remember to point out things that newcomers won’t know- where the loos are, how to manage/what to expect for children, and which words to join in with. And we introduce ourselves- I’m Jo, the vicar here, and Jenny will be bringing our talk later.

I don’t think you can decide what the atmosphere before a service is for everyone else. Recently we called for a moment of quiet before we began, as it was really rowdy and a particularly contemplative service was planned. The vicar wa one of th culprits!

@Auntyacid, exactly that.

Thank you for considering my post. In a previous post I mentioned someone in the pulpit saying ' A warm welcome to the strangers among us' This is what has prompted my opinions in general. It is what happened when my DH & I went along to a church while on holiday. We presumed we and possibly others were classed as mere strangers. You could say it was simply a bad choice of words. My point is I think it represents the way people can often be made to feel. My emphasis here is more in respect of people who wish to drop in for prayer and reflection. There is a difference between this and people going in with view to regular attendance. They would obviously need to find out about facilities etc. Ultimately if the church wishes to attract more members then that first visit should in my opinion be met with a nod and a smile again without giving them the feeling they're entering into a regulars well esablished space. This may encourage people to go back. As for sitting in the same seat every week, with the exception of necessity, disability etc, this is another thing I'd definitely do away with for the same reasons. How dare a 'visitor' sit in MY seat but that's another story 🤦‍♀️🤣

Household of lapsed Catholics (me), atheists but originally Catholics (grown up children) and ‘thinks he was christened as a baby’ (husband).

We used to go to mass on Christmas Eve and to our village Carol service and enjoy all the school stuff/nativities etc. Now we do absolutely nothing apart from eat, drink and enjoy the merriment.

Yes, we describe the facilities and services from the front in the welcome. Emphasise that you don’t need to sit on your child to keep them silent, and whether they are going out to group or have some colouring sheets or puzzles to do in their seat. That the words will come up on a screen and so on.

When I go to church somewhere new, I like a quick run down of what to expect. My horror that kept me out of church for many years, is that feeling that everyone else knows what to do when, and I’ll look like an idiot if I’m out of step.

We get lots of positive feedback on our warm welcome, but of course it’s self selecting- those who don’t appreciate it just don’t return! 😂