I'm looking at changing my first name but am scared of others reactions

[K900]

I'm looking at changing my first to a name I prefer. I actually changed my name years ago to my middle name because my first name was very girly and I'm a man, but I really don't like the name, I mainly did it to appease my family who wanted to keep my birth names. I'm just wondering what to do now as I know it will be really awkward for people who know me and who have known me for the past 5-6 years as my middle name. I'm miserable going by this name if I'm being honest and it doesn't feel like me. Does anyone have any advice for me? What makes me hesitant to do this is that it might give me massive anxiety if I do this. I'm 30 years of age and feel like it might be too late to change my name again? Would it weird people out if they came to know me and I said I changed my name to a name completely unrelated to my birth names because I just preferred it? Would it be seen as vane to others, I don't want to be vane, I'd just like to have a name I feel comfortable with. I'm just really on the fence about this but it is a thing that has been in my mind the past 3 or 4 years. Thanks

I know a few Padraig's and never heard of them being called Podge. They all just go by Padraig. Podge would be awful alright though.

If you really want to change your name people will get used to it fairly quickly, they always do. I've known people who have changed their names and after a few false starts it just becomes normal.

I do think @Talipesmum might be onto something though: if this is not the first time you've done this it might be that it's not the name itself that's the issue, there's something else in your identity or your sense of self which isn't right. If you constantly feel like you have to "get away from" yourself it's probably a sign that there's something more fundamental than just your name: the risk is that changing the name won't fix this and you'll end up being unsatisfied with the new name.

Not saying you shouldn't do it if its what you really want but I'd use this opportunity to do a bit of soul searching about what you really want.

I've know/have known several people who have changed their name and it is surprising how quickly you get used to the new name. I honestly can't remember some of the 'old' names now.

I wouldn't really count using your middle name as a name change - that was a very common thing to do in my parents' generation. MIL used a name that is similar to hers but changed a bit, FIL uses his middle name and my step mum used to use her middle name too. My mum and dad used shortened versions of their names.

The only thing that strikes me is that you are too worried about other people's opinions - it is yours that counts. I honestly don't think people will care that much unless you keep talking about it or do it every six months. It may bother your parents more but hopefully they've got the emotional intelligence to let that pass quickly and fully support and embrace your choice.

I thought you were the Sacha poster too.

Rick short for Patrick is a really good suggestion if you like it, a slightly more imaginative use of diminutives. (I know someone called Kieron who goes by Ron and someone else called Dominic who goes by Nick, which i think its quite cool). Formally changing your first name again would be a bit much. You'd end up forgetting which one you were called!

I've never heard of podge as a nickname for Patrick or Padraig but then I'm not in Ireland and am not Irish.
I agree going by Rick or Ricky could work?

Do you know what you would change it too?

Most people who change their name are already going by that name of a varient prior to that. I have known people called at birth Matthew that have always gone by 'Dan' then changed it to Daniel later.

If you don't know of have live experience going by a name I wouldn't change it on a whim. Go by it informally first and get use to it, like a trial run before making it legal again.

I don't know anyone called Podge (I'm in Ireland) but I know lots of Patrick's and Pats and Paddy's. Absolutely nothing wrong with Patrick .

Go the whole Podge. That's so cute.
If you want to change to Padraig then Podge is a risk worth taking.
You could always go by Tricky.

Otherwise, change your first name to XXfavouritename and leave your second name as Patrick. Then you can honestly tell people that you now go by your first name.
Do you love any names that start with the same initials? Just asking in case you want your old tennis trophies to still have your name.

If you change it to Padraig, people are going to call you Pad or Paddy anyhow? it's so similar to Patrick, I wouldn't even consider it a name change, more like a nickname. Patrick is a great name - it has so many variations, you can use Rick, Patch, Pax....