That one in a group

[Mistletoeandwhiney]

I think it’s a good thing to have a motivated, dominant one in a group of friends…they often initiate and get things done. But does anyone have one who wants to be in charge of every group meet up-choose the place, organise what we’re doing and not really wanting to deviate from their plan or what was done previously? It just becomes a bit trying after a while, a general group consensus with everyone’s input is surely better?

I used to have a friend like that. NB: Note past tense.

@StarlightLady I don’t mind to a certain extent as pretty laid back, but when it’s that intense manner and others can barely contribute..

@StarlightLady What did they do?

No. I would tend to think that a group whose activities were dominated by the agenda of one individual would crumble very quickly, as other people would get tired of it and opt out.

There's always a ' fly in the ointment' with any group of people anywhere and that one who is more vocal or just wants their own way with regards to arrangements or meet ups or whatever. I guess it depends on the dynamics, I don't want to be the one who organizes things, so happy to just go with the flow, but other people don't. Can cause friction, unfortunately

Never had that in any group of my friends.

My aunt, however, winds up her sisters acting this way. When her daughter is involved she acts the same. Everything has to be their way and they throw a strop if anyone tries to do something different. I can't be bothered with it. DM often speaks up and finds herself blacklisted.

This is the thing, you feel
everyone else just seeing if they should go along with it or one maybe will come up with a plan too…then there’s two strongish ones. If you were the bossy one wouldn’t you step back a bit at times

No, one domineering dictatorial type doesn't usually work at all.

However, it does depend what the rest of the group is like. I have a group of friends where we all met due to a particular sports activity that we no longer do together. We still meet up for dinner twice a year, which we all really enjoy, but the only reason we do that is because there's one member of the group who takes it upon himself to whatsapp the group, suggest some dates and a venue, chivvy people along to RSVP, etc. The rest of us are all very laid back and tbh if it wasn't for this one guy's proactivity, the twice yearly dinner would've probably petered out by now.

I've been away with a group this weekend, 12 of us and some not that well known to us.

It all worked out really well actually because people have their roles, there's the ideas people, the let's do this or go there and then someone who actually makes that happen. There's the fun impulsive people who made the weekend lively but there were also a couple who did the "nagging" and planning to make sure we left on time and knew how to get there. There's the ones who realise we need toilet roles and others who make sure we've got beer.

In our group though, anyone being over obnoxious or bossy would be told to reign it in quite quickly.

Hmm yes, I’ve noticed in this group, the main person will try to be organising it all and someone might chip in with something as part of the plan and they’ll be jokingly pulled back as it’s clear this person wants to make that decision (or clearly already has done in their mind!)

Are you sure it's not you then? I'm joking sorry 🤣

I'm just not organised enough @fluffy2buffy!