Christmas party awards - humiliating or harmless fun?

[TippyToes123]

Our office Christmas party takes place in a couple of weeks and an email has been sent to all staff by the organiser asking us to nominate our colleagues for an alternative awards ceremony.

The categories include things like 'worst tea maker', 'office clown', 'always chatting' and so on. There is also an award for the person who loves to drink but can't handle it.

For context, my employer is a national firm which prides itself on looking after their staff and having a culture of respect. But our local office is more 'laid back' and has a heavy drinking culture.

Since I joined, there have been many staff events, which have included lots of free alcohol. I have witnessed colleagues getting very drunk, being sick, saying and doing things they have regretted afterwards. Usually, it is the newer trainees who are swept along with the free alcohol and encouraged to knock back shots. I think that making anyone get up in front of their colleagues to accept an award for not being able to handle their drink is humiliating. If it was me, I would be mortified. (For the record, I've been tee-total since joining and am not expecting to be nominated!)

I know that if I was to express my feelings on this (which I won't), I would be accused of missing the point and trying to spoil everyone else's fun. In fact, the email even stated that these awards are to be taken in the good nature and spirit that they are intended, a bit of fun.

So I'm interested to know...AIBU?

Yes...it's just a bit of harmless fun, which promotes team bonding.
No...it is potentially humiliating and adds nothing to the Christmas celebrations.

This is a bullying culture.

I'd report to national HR. I would also say I didn't want to take part (have done that once, the event got pulled because a few of us did it).

I agree!

If there's an awards for 'misery guts' I probably wouldn't be so sure in your 'I don't expect to be nominated'

So many professionally offended on this thread.

If there's an awards for 'misery guts' I probably wouldn't be so sure in your 'I don't expect to be nominated'

And what context is that meant to be taken in? Nice and light is it?!

And this just sums up my earlier post about it being a HR nightmare and best avoided. You have certain people offended and upset and others fuming that the upset people are boring and miserable. Neither side is wrong -you feel how you feel after all -but the resulting shit storm is never worth it. I used to dread any office "games" as I knew that afterwards I'd have someone in my office crying/moaning/angry/offended and have to deal with the resulting fall out. Fun!

If you all get on well and there would be no snide nominations then I think those categories don't look too bad. I'd not worry if I was given any of those, but then I wouldn't drink enough for anyone to know if I could or couldn't handle my drink.

If there's a bitchy atmosphere between anyone then no though.

Ah these things can go wrong, even when there are no deliberately insulting awards. Someone gets inadvertantly overlooked, or everyone is getting funny jokey awards and the quiet lady in the office gets 'tidiest desk' and feels like the workplace dullard. It can be a bit of a minefield, unless you're a small group who all know each other well and get on great.

No it wasn't. She was the only POC and it had to do with that in a way that they thought funny but wasn't at all. It was very racist and nasty. They shrugged it off as banter, a word I detest and consider an excuse for bullying.

Wow - that's really sickening.

I'm guessing you are someone who loves a good laugh at someone else's expense. All very funny until you're on the receiving end.

It's the kind of thing I hate as too easy to take cheap shots at people.

I'm loud and outgoing but I'd be gutted to get most chatty etc as then I would be thinking that I must annoyed everyone and have a negative thought spiral

The people who say oh it's all good fun are usually the ones who like to stick the knife in

Good point. If I got nominated for being chatty, I would worry that that people were insinuating that I wasn't pulling my weight or was distracting other people.

Bullies at school also used to use the term 'can't you take a joke'

We used to do that in my previous company. My team was smaller, office based and knew each other well enough to recognise who could and would participate without getting offended. It was always kind.

My new team? Not in a million light years, far too many sensitive souls.

If your firm has written values, make it about them. Take your opinion out of it.
report it to HR (though they can be a bit legal!!) or hopefully more appropriately someone in charge of strategy and values (& even media?!) and question how it works within the values of the organisation.
you need not be a kill joy and get it cancelled - just the inappropriate bits !!

I'd be severely tempted to send a copy to Head Office HR with the bits about drinking highlighted and ask whether they had authorised this.

Have we found OP's party organisers?

(For the record, I've been tee-total since joining and am not expecting to be nominated!)

You do know you're going to be getting an award for this, don't you op?

If their culture is drinking and you don't, you'll get 'most uptight colleague' or something.

Was just coming on to say this 😂

I find the whole thing quite cringe to be honest. These things are a bit like 'in'-jokes inflicted on everyone. If you aren't in on the joke it just looks passive aggressive.

To be honest I'm not a fan of staff awards ceremonies generally as they are mostly style over substance and can do just as much harm to staff morale as good as the self-promoters tend to be recognised ahead of people that actually deliver for the organisation. We unfortunately have such an event at our place where these things happen and last year a guy who is a shameless self-promoter who created a huge fuck up that I and others had to spend ages trying to fix got an award simply because, while we were digging him out of his hole, he was busy spinning things to the directors about how awesome he was.

No, it's not harmless fun though some / many may enjoy it. There's bound to be people who will find it excruciatingly embarrassing or humiliating. They'll probably laugh or grin sheepishly, but be dying inside. Even if the categories were more respectful, it would still be very awkward. And if not selected for any, you could still feel bad because you've been ignored or not deemed the type who can take a joke.

This sort of thing might or might not be ok on Christmas Day with your family. It is totally inappropriate in a professional environment.

As a teacher I can say they still do. I always say it's only a joke if everyone finds it funny. Why should people who feel victimised or are sensitive be expected to laugh at their torments?

It sounds like a bit of harmless fun and actually sounds like a great environment to work in (minus the drinking). If you don’t like it don’t attend or find a new job don’t ruin it for everyone else.

Mamabear48 · Today 09:44

It sounds like a bit of harmless fun and actually sounds like a great environment to work in (minus the drinking). If you don’t like it don’t attend or find a new job don’t ruin it for everyone else.”

no it doesn’t, it sounds awful. Unless you’re David Brent or Colin “I’m a Alien”

I would have no problem opting out of this nonsense, but I wouldn’t ruin everyone else’s fun if that’s something they enjoy. I think it’s fine as long as there is an opt-out option.

As for drinking culture, if that’s just work colleagues going for self-funded drinks after work, I’m not sure there’s anything HR can do about that.

Some of our juniors are friends and socialise at the weekend and some of them went to a one guy’s stag weekend which from what I’ve heard was a complete riot. Should HR police their behaviour at the weekend and during their annual leave as well because it creates a ‘drinking culture’ at work?