Have any of you lost a job or left a job or been sidelined from a job or otherwise had your income adversely affected due to menopause?

[Sostu]

Because I have. Got let go a couple of weeks ago after being put on performance monitoring when I developed menopause symptoms. I have worked since I was 16 years old and the six month period where my performance was monitored was the most stressful and humiliating period of my working life. I feel like an absolute failure but I know this can't be right. I bumped into a friend who I haven't seen for years in the supermarket today and the exact same thing has happened to her. She is on sleeping pills! This is same as me a lady who has always worked and is definitely not a shirker and nor am I.

I am trying to get myself together and apply for other jobs but I just feel so deflated and useless and I don't know how to get past this.

How on earth do I explain my reasons for losing this job to a new employer and how do I get past this?

I just feel so lost.

@Floofydawg you can be fired for poor performance, or more likely managed out.

Yes I left my job this year due to menopause. I was in a busy, stressful leadership role that I had been doing for many years and handling fine. I’m 49 and lost my drive and energy. Found I didn’t cope with stress and just wanted not to have to work. I left for a job I can do in my sleep. I’m on HRT. I feel like I’ve lost myself.

@Sostu make something up that sounds time limited, will have passed and cant be contradicted in any reference.

@mantyzer thanks, 🙏 that's really sensible advice.

Realistically my mum isn't going to get better and I am going to get older and this is just going to get worse. All I can do is work when I can how I can.

I foresee a great many more lost jobs the future!

Christ, it's so depressing.

Honestly I think the problem lies with the treatment .
I don't expect employers to accept very poor performance for long period of time
But I do expect doctors to take the symptoms more seriously and offer real help to woman who are suffering. It's time it was recognised for how horrendous it can be.

You can't medicate everything away.

@Sostu Its shit. I have been down this road. Now both parents and in laws dead. Its been a tough 5 years - yes they all died within that time frame. Multiple long journeys at weekends to visit one of them and sort stuff out. No wonder I now feel worn out. But I have to keep working until state retirement age.

Yy. It's tough. Some women can't take hrt - just in my immediate circle of friends several can't due to previous cancer. For others it helps with some symptoms and not others.

I do agree that the answer lies in the treatment but we're very far off from the treatment being sufficient in all cases and in the meantime women are financially penalised.

@mantyzer I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this too. It's hard! Isn't it?

I do think it's mad that if I told the truth to a prospective employer - that I'm here struggling with my one remaining madarse ovary (previous tumour), flushes, insomnia, anxiety, flooding blood loss every few weeks and a mother and mother in law both with dementia, an aggressive shouty immobile father all of whom I have to manage - there's no way I'd get offered a job, but yet if I can't hold onto a job it is my fault ... and I have years and years of this left to run ... it's all too much 😕

@Sostu it will eventually get better. Just hang on in there.

I had a senior position that I walked away from because my anxiety was through the roof and confidence on the floor. I was honest with the CEO and said I was struggling but would work through it. Not interested. You could say I was managed out. I didn't have energy to fight. It's really common, unfortunately.

Sorry you are dealing with all this OP.

I passed up three jobs that are a band up that I stood a very good chance of getting. I have the skills and experience on paper but I’ve lost my confidence and when the brain fog hits there is literally nothing going on in there.

It sucks.

I work in a female heavy environment and menopause has become a hot topic. Only through open comms did I realise that I was in menopause - periods were ruining my life. Couple work friends got mirena and talked about it and it has been life changing for me as not anemic or flooding anymore
Few of us have changed style of working and work hours.
Things like later starts to help with insomnia of getting to sleep.
Asked for fans to help keep area cool.
Definitely using electronic reminders and personal diaries and watches.
Not being afraid to say we need time out and go for a 5 min walk.
Asking colleagues and each other to do a quick check over work to see if anything has been missed.
Wearing lighter style clothes

One of those cool pads for sleeping are useful in the car.

Yes. I left voluntarily because I couldn’t juggle the physical symptoms with the job any longer. I didn’t suffer with the mental ones.

HRT was an absolute life safer for me but I chose not to go back as I was fortunate enough not to need to.

I was messed about a lot at work and treated rotten. I have fibromyalgia and was just about getting by when perimenopause came along and a few family issues. I feel empty like I’m dead inside. The anxiety is horrific as well. Work have been totally unsupportive, I’ve taken time off but the thought of going back makes me sick.

I’m about to leave an NHS clinician/manager role for a job at a university that pays less but has no operational/mgmt responsibilities, in part due to service changes I don’t like and nowhere to progress to but also for an easier life/better work life balance. I’m only 44 but my mind doesn’t feel like it used to and my confidence and patience are low.

I am so sorry you’ve found yourself in this position. I think it’s so hard. I’m 49 and have been having perimenopausal symptoms
for a few years now. I was previously in a job role which involved shift work and a great deal of responsibility and I could feel myself sinking lower. The anxiety was unreal. It got to the point where I cried on the way to work and most days on the way home too. I started to hate my job because of how it was making me feel.

I was massively fortunate to move into a role which gave me more a more regular routine which means I sleep better and I can get to the gym in a better routine which for me personally is a bit help to both my mental and physical health. I work with a smaller team of women who are all similar ages so we understand. I’m on HRT but the anxiety and brain fog is still pretty bad so wondering whether testosterone might help me.

I just find it so sad that there are so many women struggling with the menopause

Sorry to hear your story, OP, and everyone else’s. In truth I’m partly glad to hear them because lately I’ve been thinking “well, maybe I’m just weaker than my similarly-aged colleagues who all seem to be managing.” I mean I’m aware some of them are on HRT and we have a joke in the corridors about forgetting what we’ve come out our rooms to do; about insomnia at night etc. But no-one’s actually come out and said “I just feel as if I can’t cope with it all.” Which is what I feel sometimes in my head in my worst days.

Then on other days everything can wash over me, I can shrug everything off and laugh in the face of adversity and go home and say to DH “yeah today was crap but whatever, what’s for tea?” Those are the days I think to myself “this is how men must feel all the time at work. How lucky are they?!”

@CurlyhairedAssassin I would never have admitted to anyone at work how I felt. You won't be the only one.

This.
I would quite like a job on reception or something, wheee I didn't have to think very hard or be responsible to anyone. It takes me ages to get into a flow of working these days
When it's going well I love some of the things I do but there are so few hours a month I feel like it's going well. I am self employed so I can't even go off sick.

I fancy a job in M&S food hall if I get a redundancy payout! Discounted M&S food...mmmmmm...

This is why the state pension age was originally 60 for women and 65 for men.

It was acknowledged that women had caring responsibilities.

Now we live in a world where women still carry most of the responsibility but have to work until 67.

Whats cheaper l wonder? Funding childcare and social care, or allowing people to retire early and take on some of this?

Not that it should all fall on women! But realistically the majority of it does.

I had to move to a less pressured role when I was menopausal. I had terrible mood swings, anxiety through the roof and self esteem through the floor.