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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To change my dd's school yest again

4 replies

Drillinginmyears · 05/12/2023 14:25

My dd is in year 2. 1st school was amazing academically but a small, affluent village school. She struggled socially, didn't fit in and cried every night going to sleep. She then developed nightmares and I was into her at night every 2 hours.

After lots of agonising, my dh and I visited a school thats not so good academically but great pastorally. She has fitted in really well socially but..... Now we're worried about the poor academic side. She says the teachers scream at the children. This is backed up by parents complaints. Plus we've been there a month. Her reading book hasn't been changed at all, even when requested. She's said the teacher us often out if the class and the TA teaches them. This teacher is apparently one of the lovely teachers. According to the other parents.

There is a third school option. She knows some children there. But we avoided it as its another small school. I mentioned it to her and her face lit up. She said she hates her new school. All the screaming teachers scare her.

I don't want to change her school yet again. But, at the same time, she's keen to see the third school. There is a space for her.

AIBU to go and look with dd? Would you stick with the new choice or change again?

OP posts:
Tacotortoise · 05/12/2023 14:29

Me, I'd change it in a second. Esp as she's keen on the idea.

HollyFern1110 · 05/12/2023 14:38

You're not being unreasonable to change schools if both you & DD will be happier with the third one, but, have you considered it might just be the school environment she is struggling with? Schools can be very busy, noisy. Teachers often have to talk loudly to be heard (not shouting but could sound that way to little ears).

We changed primary school 3 times for DS1 looking for the best fit before realising he has ASD & all schools would be problematic in one way or another.

pandarific · 05/12/2023 14:46

I’d happily change her, but I would also want to push for ASD assessment. Sounds textbook.

Drillinginmyears · 05/12/2023 14:50

HollyFern1110 · 05/12/2023 14:38

You're not being unreasonable to change schools if both you & DD will be happier with the third one, but, have you considered it might just be the school environment she is struggling with? Schools can be very busy, noisy. Teachers often have to talk loudly to be heard (not shouting but could sound that way to little ears).

We changed primary school 3 times for DS1 looking for the best fit before realising he has ASD & all schools would be problematic in one way or another.

Yes, you have read my mind. I am getting a niggling idea about ASD. I talked to the year 1 and 2 teacher in the first school. Both completely shrugged me off. So I thought I'd move her to where they fully support ASD and ADHD just in case. But it sounds very disorganised in the school. The 3rd school also supports ASD etc well. I've already seen it but ages ago when we were originally looking at schools. So maybe we should just look at it again and discuss how they would support if she has ASD.

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