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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not sure where to go now with friend

3 replies

Funkyslippers · 05/12/2023 13:13

My oldest friend of 30 years has upset me. I had a big birthday back in the summer and she said she'd bought tickets for us to go to a concert a couple of months after. She asked if I was free to go round to hers on my birthday, I said no but I could go round the following day. She didn't reply to this message. This was about a week before my birthday so she would have had time to get a card to me somehow but nothing arrived. Just before the concert she became ill and could no longer go. She didn't take out any insurance so I suggested she contact Ticketmaster to resell the tickets. Heard nothing since and when I popped round to see her after nothing was mentioned. I didn't say anything as she wasn't well. But basically I had no card or present! I've tried to be sympathetic as she couldn't help bring poorly but my birthday just hasn't been mentioned at all. Normally it wouldn't bother me too much but it was my big birthday and I made a fuss of her on her big birthday last year. After such a long friendship I feel she's been quite thoughtless. Aibu?

OP posts:
Rocknrollstar · 05/12/2023 13:56

She isn’t the friend you thought she was. We all have this happen over the years. You either forget it and continue to be friends or you gradually drop her.

jenny38 · 05/12/2023 14:02

She’s been thoughtless and possibly focused on herself with not being well. However she hasn’t been intentionally mean, so I think you should just put this to one side and get on with the friendship. Possibly make less of her birthday this year, or you could ask if she sold the tickets, and if so shall the two of you book a spar day instead? In 30 years there must have been many great times, so I wouldn’t be stepping away from a long friendship due to this.

Coconutter24 · 05/12/2023 14:09

Ask her if you’ve upset her? Sounds like you have by not being free on your birthday and this is how she’s reacted to it. Obviously very silly to get upset with you over that but that’s how it comes across. Then if she says yes or no you then tell her she upset you by not mentioning your birthday and hopefully you both get over it

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