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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour asked us to stop our Christmas lights flashing

477 replies

SuddenlyISee · 05/12/2023 12:16

Outside Christmas lights got put up on Sunday morning going around a couple of the windows at the front of the house (we live end terrace on a close).
We were out till late on Sunday evening so they were only on for probably an hour that day and then I switched them on when I got home from work at about 3:30 yesterday. Within an hour, my opposite neighbour knocked on my door and said that although he really likes the "Christmas cheer", could we not have them flashing all the time as they are disturbing him at night. They are turned off no later than 10pm as that is when we go to bed. There are multiple settings and I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is. I just feel like I'm going to spend the next few weeks worrying that our lights are offending him and wonder if I should just take them down. The neighbours either side of the neighbour that complained have both got the same lights as us so I have the same view as him, if not more so, and I can't see how it would affect anyone

OP posts:
MarvellousMonsters · 06/12/2023 17:57

SirenSays · 05/12/2023 12:21

Wouldn't it be easier to teach the children not to play with plugs and wires than to take the whole lot down

What, actually supervise and parent your children?

Flashing lights are annoying, set them to static and tell your kids to leave them alone if you'll take them down.

Tryingmybestadhd · 06/12/2023 18:08

Turn them off at 9 pm ?

H007 · 06/12/2023 18:10

Flashing lights are horrendous. Given that your neighbour has said something I think you should try and do something to fix the issue. Compromise is always a way forward.

Greenpolkadot · 06/12/2023 18:16

Our ndn had flashing lights last year.
Our bedroom is on the side of the house so we would get flashing in the bedroom.
This year the lights are static which is much better.
Why can't you control your kids ? If they keep switching it onto flashing mode then threaten to turn them off altogether.
You are being vu. No wonder your neighboughrs are sick of it

Original poster
SuddenlyISee · 06/12/2023 18:16

H007 · 06/12/2023 18:10

Flashing lights are horrendous. Given that your neighbour has said something I think you should try and do something to fix the issue. Compromise is always a way forward.

RTFT. I have already said that I have complied with the neighbours request and the lights are set to static. And the children have been clearly told to only play with the other plug sockets for the rest of the Christmas period.

OP posts:
Realitea · 06/12/2023 18:19

If I was the neighbour who had a problem with them, I’d just buy a stick on black out blind.

venus7 · 06/12/2023 18:23

Schoolrunmumbun · 05/12/2023 12:24

YABU for "I cannot control my children" said in any context.

Seconded.......

H007 · 06/12/2023 18:23

@SuddenlyISee calm down. You write a thread everyone is entitled to note their opinions on the situation.

SiennaMillar · 06/12/2023 18:25

You’re being a PITA

bananamangoes · 06/12/2023 18:44

There was a very similar post last year

Nobody near me has flashing lights so not sure what it’s like but i guess it’s annoying

Asparagus1 · 06/12/2023 18:49

My neighbour has put some up too. We haven’t said anything but my husband has photosensitive epilepsy so standing outside talking to them when he gets home like he often does will be difficult 🙈

VeronicasCloset · 06/12/2023 18:51

Yabu to not impose consequences for your children disobeying you. Teaching a child not to touch a plug socket is pretty basic parenting.

Wellhellooooodear · 06/12/2023 18:56

YABVU. Why can't you control your children?

venus7 · 06/12/2023 18:59

Getthethrowonthesofa · 06/12/2023 10:09

I agree, I was just thinking that when I read the response of tell him to close his curtains and mind his own business, do people really behave like that in real life when Met with a polite and reasonable request.

Who raised these people, do their parents behave like that? Is that where they learned it? Do they have their own kids, and behave like this in front of them?

or are they just keyboard warriors, who’d never follow their own advice in real life.

Show quote history

Sadly, they do behave like that in real life.

MMAS · 06/12/2023 19:10

This

KarenandFour · 06/12/2023 19:13

My old neighbour used to have blue flashing lights opposite me. Drive me mad! Use static ones

FinallyFinalGirl · 06/12/2023 19:16

"RTFT. I have already said that I have complied with the neighbours request and the lights are set to static. And the children have been clearly told to only play with the other plug sockets for the rest of the Christmas period."

LMAO. 🤣

You're a good neighbour. And you have a good neighbour.

Snowflakeslayer · 06/12/2023 19:16

Flashing lights are unnecessary, and super annoying, just have them on fixed, and off when you go to bed. Anything else is annoying and selfish imo.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 06/12/2023 19:19

I cannot stand flashing lights, they are annoying as hell, garish and headache inducing especially of they are fast flashing. Static lights are pretty. Your kids shouldn’t be playing with / around plug sockets! YABU, your neighbour is not.

pollymere · 06/12/2023 19:20

Thank you for being kind and stopping them flashing. My DS really struggles with Sensory Processing Disorder and flashing lights are one of his triggers. As he likes to comment " there's enough flashing lights to trigger an epileptic here" - which can also be a problem.

LouDeLou · 06/12/2023 19:27

YANBU. Tell him to buy some black out blinds, it’s worth the investment as you’ll have flashy lights up every year, like everyone else.

Stringofpearlies · 06/12/2023 19:29

YABU.

Why don't you just have the lights on non-flash mode and hide the controller?

I don't think you realise how irritating it is to have flashing lights come through your curtains. 10pm is also way too late as a cut off. Not everyone goes to bed at that time. Your neighbour is not being unreasonable in the slightest.

greenbeansnspinach · 06/12/2023 19:47

Flashing lights make me feel like I’m actually going mad. Even a few minutes of them. It’s just a really ghastly bodily feeling. . . Although I do like the ones that don’t flash.

Thistlewoman · 06/12/2023 20:02

You are being unreasonable I'm afraid. Flashing lights are a feckin irritant especially if you have migraine or epilepsy. It's more important to have good neighbourly relations than a flickering light display at Christmas. And tell your kids to leave the controls alone!!

Thistlewoman · 06/12/2023 20:03

You sound like the definition of a nightmare neighbour!