Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send Christmas cards?

117 replies

bipbopdo · 05/12/2023 10:43

Do any of you send Christmas cards? This year it seems to be treated as a weird anachronism instead of nice thing to do.

I like having ways of checking in with friends that doesn’t rely on my phone, but a friend of mine said it creates a sense of pressure and obligation at a stressful time of year.

OP posts:
cardibach · 07/12/2023 00:14

YAN necessarily BU to send them if you like to do it.
YABU if you don’t consider who might find the card (though obviously not the thought) irritating/annoying. I don’t display any cards. They just go in the bin/recycling I’m afraid as I have no space for them.
YABU if you then moan or think badly about someone who doesn’t reciprocate.

I do think they are astoundingly environmentally unfriendly too, though it’s not the main reason I’d be happy not to receive any.

cardibach · 07/12/2023 00:14

Dogcatmousedog · 07/12/2023 00:14

I actually send about 12 in post and another 20 I deliver , I give cards by hand to work colleagues .

Why to work colleagues? Can’t you say Merry Christmas to them?

clary · 07/12/2023 00:19

I do think they are astoundingly environmentally unfriendly too

This. Such as waste of paper when we are trying to be greener. Send a text or write on social media to someone to say what you want to say. Quicker too. And cheaper (like free).

I would say 90% of the cards I have received over the years have simply said "to Clary and family, love from xxx". Some even are just signed 'love from xxx and family" and then the envelope has a sticker with my name and address on.

Dogcatmousedog · 07/12/2023 00:28

cardibach · 07/12/2023 00:14

Why to work colleagues? Can’t you say Merry Christmas to them?

Show quote history

Because I actually work in an environment where we don’t work together regularly 🤔

cardibach · 07/12/2023 00:31

Dogcatmousedog · 07/12/2023 00:28

Because I actually work in an environment where we don’t work together regularly 🤔

Show quote history

You said you give them by hand. So you do see them. And could just say Merry Christmas.

Dogcatmousedog · 07/12/2023 00:33

cardibach · 07/12/2023 00:31

You said you give them by hand. So you do see them. And could just say Merry Christmas.

Show quote history

As in a place where we leave cards…wasn’t expecting an interrogation when I wrote my first comment! Think you need to calm down TBH !

cardibach · 07/12/2023 00:37

Dogcatmousedog · 07/12/2023 00:33

As in a place where we leave cards…wasn’t expecting an interrogation when I wrote my first comment! Think you need to calm down TBH !

Show quote history

What? I’m perfectly calm. What have I written that sounds not calm?
you on the other hand have gone from giving colleagues cards by hand to being a bit aggressive about it being a ‘place you put them’. These are two different things.
Also you deliver 20 other cards. You could presumably actually speak to these people too.

Original poster
bipbopdo · 07/12/2023 03:21

It seems to me that saying Merry Christmas doesn’t have the same effect or a text or email (if you’re anything like me those texts and emails get lost in the noise - I get hundreds of emails per week!). There’s something genuinely lovely about a physical token that represents effort that someone has gone to.

Also, the environmental impact seems negligible when compared to other choices you could make to be greener. We seem to be losing so many of the little things that promote social cohesion in favour of a more individualistic culture, but then I hear so many people complaining that ‘Christmas doesn’t feel like it used to’?

I love receiving cards (but don’t expect them!), as I use them for decoration like PPs have mentioned.

OP posts:
Original poster
bipbopdo · 07/12/2023 03:27

Someone in this thread described them as a ‘neat little gift’ and I completely agree!! It’s a lovely way to look at it.

OP posts:
Justfinking · 07/12/2023 03:29

I was just thinking about this yesterday, we hardly send any or get any now but actually it was a nice thing to show you're thinking of someone and I think it's a bit sad that now we basically can't be bothered (definitely in my case)

Justfinking · 07/12/2023 03:30

bipbopdo · 07/12/2023 03:21

It seems to me that saying Merry Christmas doesn’t have the same effect or a text or email (if you’re anything like me those texts and emails get lost in the noise - I get hundreds of emails per week!). There’s something genuinely lovely about a physical token that represents effort that someone has gone to.

Also, the environmental impact seems negligible when compared to other choices you could make to be greener. We seem to be losing so many of the little things that promote social cohesion in favour of a more individualistic culture, but then I hear so many people complaining that ‘Christmas doesn’t feel like it used to’?

I love receiving cards (but don’t expect them!), as I use them for decoration like PPs have mentioned.

Agree with this totally. I also think environmental impact is a bit of a BS excuse. I think it's more people can be bothered and also cost of postage is quite alot now so it seems expensive for 'just sending a card'

Sconehenge · 07/12/2023 03:33

I’m bucking the trend and after years of only sending a two or so, this year I sent 10! It cost me almost £30 in postage 😅 (overseas).

It actually felt really nice to send them. This year I got individual cards which I think helped as it was more interesting for me choosing particular cards for people or funny Christmas puns vs using ones from a charity pack like I usually do. It made the effort and expense of posting feel more worth it somehow.

I’m sure all the recipients will find it incredibly random and out of the blue 😂

But DP’s family are all so good at sending Xmas cards, so after 5 years I’ve decided to give it a go in my family. I’ll see what fruits my labours bring next year haha.

hihihihihihihihihihi · 07/12/2023 03:39

I haven't this year. I used to have loads of spare stamps but I don't anymore. Too expensive to send them now. Shame as I love Christmas cards.

hihihihihihihihihihi · 07/12/2023 03:40

We've only had one so far this year.

PieAndLattes · 07/12/2023 03:42

I haven’t sent a Christmas card in years and don’t really appreciate the few I do get these days. It’s a dying tradition. My teen children don’t send or receive any at all apart from the ones from their grandparents with cash in!

Topseyt123 · 07/12/2023 03:43

I don't send any really. Just one to my elderly mother and one to my sister, who I won't see on the day.

We used to send a lot, mostly to DH's relatives, many of whom we hardly ever see. Oddly enough, it was all wifework even though DH swore blind that he would do his share. He never got round to them. He was horrified the year that I called a halt and again swore blind that he would do them. That was years ago now and he still never has.

My decision to stop bothering with them was very liberating. I highly recommend it to those who struggle to get motivated with them.

WillWorkForShoes · 07/12/2023 09:37

I love sending cards. It’s one of my traditions. Glass of mulled wine and write the cards with a bit of sincere Christmas cheer in every one. I don’t expect a reciprocal card. The ones I do receive are used as decoration. I think it’s a shame not many people send cards anymore but I’d rather not receive one than get one filled full of Christmas Bitterness because it was a chore to do!!

eardefender · 07/12/2023 09:53

cardibach · 07/12/2023 00:07

To you.
To me, they are a wasteful and slightly annoying way of showing thought. It doesn’t take into account that I don’t like/have any where to display them. That I have to deal with them after. I’d prefer a text or phone call.
Maybe think about recipients rather than yourself when sending greetings.

Show quote history

This is Mumsnet at Christmas. I do love this site and this is part of it. 😂

LlynTegid · 07/12/2023 09:54

I do for those people I keep in touch with but rarely meet. And family who I won't meet over Christmas.

cardibach · 07/12/2023 10:02

bipbopdo · 07/12/2023 03:21

It seems to me that saying Merry Christmas doesn’t have the same effect or a text or email (if you’re anything like me those texts and emails get lost in the noise - I get hundreds of emails per week!). There’s something genuinely lovely about a physical token that represents effort that someone has gone to.

Also, the environmental impact seems negligible when compared to other choices you could make to be greener. We seem to be losing so many of the little things that promote social cohesion in favour of a more individualistic culture, but then I hear so many people complaining that ‘Christmas doesn’t feel like it used to’?

I love receiving cards (but don’t expect them!), as I use them for decoration like PPs have mentioned.

Not everyone finds them ‘genuinely lovely’ though. Or dislikes/misses emails.
How on earth is someone saying Merry Christmas to you less effective than a card saying Merry Christmas? I just don’t get it.

cardibach · 07/12/2023 10:05

eardefender · 07/12/2023 09:53

This is Mumsnet at Christmas. I do love this site and this is part of it. 😂

Show quote history

Well I’m glad my preferences amuse you.
You know what I’m not so keen on on MN? Posters who are condescending and dismissive of other people’s personal likes/dislikes.

Greydogs123 · 07/12/2023 10:05

I send to older family members who don’t live close by and I know appreciate a card. I also send a couple to friends who either live abroad or a distance, so I won’t see them over the Christmas period. I don’t like giving cards to people who I can just wish a merry Christmas to in person, we have some neighbours who always give a card and it feels annoying to then feel obliged to give them one.

Original poster
bipbopdo · 08/12/2023 02:41

cardibach · 07/12/2023 10:02

Not everyone finds them ‘genuinely lovely’ though. Or dislikes/misses emails.
How on earth is someone saying Merry Christmas to you less effective than a card saying Merry Christmas? I just don’t get it.

Show quote history

I think it’s because a Christmas card is a physical thing that you can hold in your hands and look at after the fact. Someone had to choose it, write it and send/give it to you. Saying Merry Christmas in an offhand conversation is just not the same imo.

My thinking on this is probably coloured by the fact I have a terrible memory, so Christmas cards also serve as a reminder of well wishes for me separate from all the noise of my working life (honestly the amount of texts and emails I get is ridiculous) and social media.

OP posts:
everybluesock · 08/12/2023 04:30

I used to send them a few years ago but then I just thought f**k this. What's the point? Everyone I was sending a card to I was in regular contact via WhatsApp.
It was a massively relief to come to that decision as it's a huge faff.
I have a friend who sends cards for everyone's birthdays and christmases almost to show how on top of it and organised she is. It's a bit stifling. But then again, she doesn't work, has a nanny, cleaner and cook so she needs to find something to do with her time!

Rabiz · 08/12/2023 05:26

I still send some - less than 10 - to friends and family that live far away. I send them because I think they like and expect them and I won’t be seeing them in person.

Back in the day, my mum and dad had a huge list of people and they were ticked off when sent and received. If you sent one to somebody and it wasn’t reciprocated, it was a huge affront. Likewise, there would be a panicked scramble if we received an unexpected one at the last minute.

If someone committed a grave offence, they would be struck off the list. If someone who usually sent a card failed to do so, enquiries would be started to see if we had upset them in some way, or if they were perhaps dead.

I keep sending the few that I do in case they start thinking that I am rude, angry with them, or dead! I wouldn’t care if I never received another one. Same with birthday cards, tbh.

I don’t bother giving them to family that we see on the day as it seems pointless! I will be wishing them a merry Christmas with my voice (and they can see that I’m not dead). I suppose they still might think I’m rude though…!