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Original poster

To want to throw in the towel and go mortgage free? Everyone telling me not to?

119 replies

Yetsterday · 05/12/2023 09:50

I have a two year old and broke up with DP a couple of months ago. I am or was lucky that we lived in my mortgaged home. It’s worth around 500k with a 280k mortgage. This is repayments of around 1k a month. I earn more than ex and he will be paying 400 a month towards dc as per the CMS calculator.

Even though I am used to paying most things myself, I suddenly feel spooked with this mortgage as a single parent. My take home is 3k so in reality I have 3,400 a month to make it all work. I’m feeling very overwhelmed. I have seen some terrace houses nearby that are 240k so I would practically be mortgage free. I’ve voiced this with friends and family and they think it is crazy to do it unless it was strictly necessary as this house will go up in value more and then if I did downsize in future it’s always there. I do get their point but I feel sick most nights that this is on me and I now also have a child to think of. What to do? Has anyone been in a similar scenario? I feel constantly worried as have only 3k savings which I’m also trying to build up but obviously 3k won’t get me far.

OP posts:
stackhead · 05/12/2023 09:52

If the terraced house meets your needs as in enough bedrooms and good downstairs space I'd do a no brainer and move. The flexibility of not having a mortgage opens so many doors in terms of career and supporting your DS in the future.

That said, make sure it's well soundproofed :)

justteanbiscuits · 05/12/2023 09:55

We made the choice on smaller home with no mortgage and while it has occasional frustrations size wise, the freedom we feel from being mortgage free really balances out the frustrations. We know, that almost what ever happens, we don't need to worry about the roof over our heads.

Sparehair · 05/12/2023 09:56

If the break up is fairly recent I’d give it a year on that budget and see how you feel then. In your shoes I’d hold onto the house- don’t underestimate the costs and disruption of moving. You may meet someone else and have more kids and be happy you kept a larger house.

EdgarsTale · 05/12/2023 09:57

I’d hate to live in a terraced house, so it’s a no from me. However, you might feel differently. I think staying put will benefit you financially in the end, but it depends how tight things are now. Also, moving costs, solicitors fees etc. all add up.

HermioneWeasley · 05/12/2023 09:57

We’re like @justteanbiscuits - have settled for a smaller house to be mortgage free. It’s very liberating.

Legoninjago1 · 05/12/2023 09:57

Hold your nerve and see how you go. You can move if it doesn't work.

FiveShelties · 05/12/2023 09:58

I would give yourself a year and see how you feel then. Adding a house sale and purchase to a break up is really stressful, and also you need to factor in the costs to buy and sell.

Catza · 05/12/2023 09:59

Life mortgage-free is wonderful and unless there are issues with space, I would buy a cheaper property in a heartbeat. Your house value does not matter unless you are planning to sell it, so who cares how much it would cost in years to come. All properties in the area will go up by the same amount so the net benefit is going to be zero (and that is before you take into account interest you pay over the years).
I bought a flat 15 years ago and for the last 6 years I am mortgage free. I have no idea what the flat is worth today - it could have doubled but so did every other property around me. What I do care about though is that for the last 6 years I had no financial commitments, extra money in my pocket and hefty savings pot due to not having to fork out for a mortgage every month.

Rjahdhdvd · 05/12/2023 09:59

I would hold on another 6 months at least and see how you feel then. It’s a good investment to stay where you are and the upheaval of a move is not what either of you need right now.
Things to consider are that in future you might meet someone and find a smaller home to be crowded, you might have more DC with a new partner.

senua · 05/12/2023 10:00

Another one saying don't rush into a decision. You have the luxury of time at the moment, make the most of it.

Hbh17 · 05/12/2023 10:01

We went mortgage-free many years ago, and never regretted it.

theduchessofspork · 05/12/2023 10:01

Sparehair · 05/12/2023 09:56

If the break up is fairly recent I’d give it a year on that budget and see how you feel then. In your shoes I’d hold onto the house- don’t underestimate the costs and disruption of moving. You may meet someone else and have more kids and be happy you kept a larger house.

This - wait a year

Neither is a bad decision but it’s a big decision and you shouldn’t make those in the throes of a major life change

Let it settle

DisforDarkChocolate · 05/12/2023 10:01

I think you need to take longer to think this though. You have a lot going on at the moment and adding the stress of a house move is probably not a good idea.

Floopani · 05/12/2023 10:02

I would sit it out for a bit. Also don't underestimate the costs and stress of moving on top of a recent break up. Sometimes when you're not sure, it's best to do nothing yet.

If it's any help, I paid a £1200 mortgage for 5 years on a lower income than you at 33k, with £350 CMS income monthly and one DC. We didn't go without and I appreciated the post divorce stability.

senua · 05/12/2023 10:02

You have only mentioned finances. What about schools and catchment areas (thinking ahead for your 2 y.o.)?

PippyLongTits · 05/12/2023 10:04

Could you take in a lodger I'd you want more money towards the mortgage? Some people only want Mon-Fri let if you didn't want someone there at the weekends (there are some websites for this)

lndnbrdge91 · 05/12/2023 10:04

Have you had any professional advice? You may wish to consider other aspects such as pension planning. For example being mortgage free now may enable you to save more.

Holidays etc...would you rather have a bigger home or be able to take your child away or have the spare cash to do fun things?

Likewise schooling - do you need to think about location and would the mortgage free home fit with that?

These are just a few thoughts. We can't plan for every eventuality but it's helpful to think a few years ahead and identify what your priorities are.

The other thing is that even if you did go mortgage free that doesn't have to be forever.

3luckystars · 05/12/2023 10:04

Surely there is a middle ground.

A still nice but cheaper house, with a smaller mortgage.

Allaboutthepeople · 05/12/2023 10:06

After mortgage you have 2.4k a month spend which is a lot! You really don’t need to panic.

Like others say, wait and see how you feel in a bit. Terraced houses can be warmer but also noisier. You can have noise coming at you both sides and no way to escape it.

If you find a house that suits you and you like in an area you like, obviously do it.

LylaLee · 05/12/2023 10:07

Rent out your house to cover the mortgage. With the extra rent a smaller place.

ACynicalDad · 05/12/2023 10:08

I'd hold off a while unless a mortgage renewal was imminent, but if you are likely to move more than a mile or two, then think about doing it before primary school applications open.
What happens if you find someone else and have to move again, every move costs thousands you never get back.

Catslovenip · 05/12/2023 10:09

People have different tolerance levels for debt. Our friends who felt okay with big mortgages have benefitted from gaining more equity than we have but we are happier being mortgage free. It’s an amazing feeling being mortgage free. It helps that I’m not particularly materialistic and do not love ‘stuff’ so do not need a massive house to store all my stuff. It sounds like you would really enjoy being debt free OP.

BrimfulOfMash · 05/12/2023 10:12

Assuming the £3,400 pcm covers your costs for now, I would sit it out for 6 months and review again.

Childcare will be cheaper once your child is 3
Think about your job / likely employment prospects, will you get promotions and pay rises over the coming decade?

Don’t forget to change to single occupant Council Tax discount .

TreesWelliesKnees · 05/12/2023 10:13

I was mortgage free and still decided to move to a smaller home as a single parent. I was busy and wanted somewhere that was easy to maintain, no big garden etc. The big house overwhelmed me on my own. I've never regretted it.

Beautiful3 · 05/12/2023 10:14

I'd carry on and see how you go. I personally wouldn't recommend terraced house. I live in one, and we've had noise issues in the past. Our next home has to be detached. I'd stay where you are. You could take in a lodger?