What to do about narcissistic manager

[Howlongdoesittake]

More a what would you do than AIBU. I work in a small department of a huge corporate company. My manager is a compulsive liar with narcissistic tendencies. We are a team of 8.

I am responsible for a role that brings income onto site. Have had a great year fabulous feedback from everyone involved.

Had end of year team meeting and manager puts up slide showing income from my role at 2/3 below last year. Huge shock. Regional and general managers also there
So I look like I've done nothing all year.

Had a couple of sleepless nights so decided to check figures and amount he put on slide is over half of what we actually took, so 1/3 down which reflects across rest of organisation as weve taken a hit due ro cost of livong. Lying bastard.

Soy wwyd is do ? Have a quiet chat to ask why the low incorrect figure or do I send him an email cc regional and general managers asking how he got his figures when I got double when I checked.

I am thinking the latter but know if I make him look bad he will not be happy but I thinking fuck you, you tried to make me look bad so why should I bother about him?

I am somewhat paranoid as there is someone in the team whose role may soon be chopped, manager wants to keep him but there is a recruitment ban at the moment for new roles. Only replacement recruiting is allowed, or if there is a business need a new member can be recruited. I think he may be setting it up so we need an extra role in my department (we don't and the person he wants to keep is a lazy shite but not a threat to manager).

Sorry very long but I am bloody angry. I have seen him get rid of others as he is a sneaky git.

What would you do?

Leave.
Update your CV and get out.

A narcissist never changes.
you have control over your choices.

Look after your mental health and wellbeing.

Expose his lies b4 u go.

I would put it to him in an email (to get it in writing) that there’s a mistake in the slide deck and it makes him and his team look like you haven’t achieved as much as you did. Ask if he would like you to update it.

If the response isn’t satisfactory, go to HR and get ‘advice’ (i.e. putting it on record) that you are concerned he’s undermining you and making you look bad and ask what they recommend.

In the meantime, look for other jobs, either internally or externally. You need to get away from this person.

Depending on your relationship with your manager’s manager, I would also consider having a quiet word to them about it. Obviously that’s not always advisable or even possible, so you need to think about whether you can do that.

I would send an email but put it in a way that looks like you're looking for the figures and won't to get it right as your figures and his differ. For example Dear blah blah blah I am somewhat confused over the figures shown on the slideshow which show blah blah blah. From my research my figures show blah blah blah and of course, wanting to get it correct wondered where you found your information

If times are tough I think it is especially important that the regional managers and GMs are made aware of the mistake.

For the best way to go about this, I defer to other wise MumsNetters

I would do the email in an innocent way - ‘oh, I enjoyed the presentation but I thought the data wasn’t quite right. I double checked and my figures were actually x not y!’. Cc relevant people in. You don’t want to look like you’re crap at your job.
But prepare to leave. I agree narcissists don’t change. They don’t like mistakes pointing out and they’re likely to come for you. Be prepared.

Has he been diagnosed with narcissistic tendencies or are you a psychiatrist? And what has that observation to do with him giving incorrect figures in the presentation?

Yes and why do you know he is a diagnosed narcissist?

I would email him in a confused manner saying you thought the figures seemed wrong so you double checked. Give the correct figures. I would cc in the relevant people too. And look for a new job.

I'm clearly in the minority but I would talk to him individually about it before going in all guns blazing. He may have an explanation of why the lower figure was used that isn't just your assumption he wants you to look bad. If you send off an email to all and he comes back explaining that he took out x because that technically fell into the last financial year etc you'll look really foolish. If talking to him individually doesn't get a reasonable response then obviously you can consider next steps.

He may not be a narcissist. But he is a cunt. He's clearly making the op look bad for some reason of his own.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I gorgeous to go along with an email cc'ing managers and look for other jobs as well.

@jemenfous37 no he hasn't been diagnosed as far as I know, but he is a compulsive liar and is very tricky. He takes credit for others work, is a master manipulator and I have seen him get rid of someone else who he saw as a threat. I am not a threat but think he sees I see through his lies now. He plays the team off against each other and when he thinks he has gone too far he reals them back in again.

I love my job, it is very niche site wise (not role wise) I think he is getting bored now and so am trying to wait him out for him to leave. He is rarely on site and is doing other sidelines which I hope he will take up full time and bugger off. I can't however have upper management think I am crap any job.

Zero point taking individually to someone who is like this. A reasonable person who made a mistake yes.

Shine sunlight on the truth copying him and all managers in. Totally justifiable given he made you look like shit in front of all the senior staff.

His reaction may be a concern but he's already got his knives out for you so you're not safe anyway.

Also look elsewhere for a new role.

I just don't think a public spat between them will come over well to the senior people, even if OP is ultimately in the right. Even if it's phrased politely it'll be really obvious that OP is 'calling out' her manager, and I don't think it's a favourable impression.

Make plans to leave. You can’t reason/deal/outplay people like this. Those PP wondering how you diagnosed him have had the luck not have never worked with one. When you know, you know! If you know the managers above point out the mistake in the data. Be prepared for them to ignore it in my experience because they don’t know how to deal with it either.

If you take the option to send your manager an email correcting his figures, whilst ccing senior management, that's not going to look good on you as a first response. If your manager is who you say he is, also expect a fairly nuclear response back to that approach.

I would speak to him directly, follow up with an email confirming what you talked about and see what happens from there. He might have made a mistake, he might have a good reason, he might just be an arsehole, but if you're planning on waiting him out rather than looking for a new job, don't make yourself look bad to the senior managers.

Of course, if in that meeting where you raise it he responds in a totally inappropriate manner, escalate it.

She needs to correct the misinformation he's provided. As managers they need correct information and as an employee she needs not to be misjudged.
They will recognise that if she conveys it correctly and that the situation is not of her making... Regretfully it might be a case of choosing between the lesser of two evils.

Thanks all on my way to work now. Although on the rota manager is not in today so can't have a face to face convo so will email and await response. Going with the not cc'ing in upper managers for now so i dont look like I am going after him as i think he will find a way to get back at me but will email them correct figures after talking to my line manager.

Update!
Had a chat face to face and he is going to run the figures again as thinks there was a computer glitch when run first time. But software has been repaired since then so can now produce correct figures!

Always has an answer.

You've done the right thing first of all - speak to him about it and see if he'll fix it. Make sure he emails the regional managers etc. letting them know and CCs you in.

If he doesn't, then you should email them and CC him in - then play dumb if he picks you up on it ("I thought you meant for me to contact them" etc)

PS you probably should have picked it out during the meeting - do that next time!

@xILikeJamx I know! But I was a bit shell shocked tbh and he is the self proclaimed stats nerd, numbers are his thing blah blah. Won't just sit back next time. I am usually very vocal. Lesson learned.