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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Keep child off nursery on their birthday

17 replies

Mybloodisboiling · 04/12/2023 13:17

I’m home as I have a baby and it’s my three going to be four year old birthday on their next nursery day should I keep my child off as they will have nearly every birthday in school.

OP posts:

InTheRainOnATrain · 04/12/2023 13:19

What do they want to do? At my DC’s nursery they make a big thing of it so they would have been sad to miss it. A compromise might be nursery in the morning then pick them up at lunchtime for a special afternoon?

Summermeadowflowers · 04/12/2023 13:20

I would, unless (as above) there’s a special celebration at nursery.

BoohooWoohoo · 04/12/2023 13:21

I didn’t as my 3/4 year old didn’t know their birthday so were happy with weekend celebrations that included daddy too.

LuvSmallDogs · 04/12/2023 13:21

At that age DS3 was actually quite excited to take in cakes to give out to his friends.

Summermeadowflowers · 04/12/2023 13:21

Just seen the above was @InTheRainOnATrain , who is a sensible poster I like. Just thought I would say that!

Leafysuburb · 04/12/2023 13:21

Ask them. My DC always wanted to go in as they have a party at nursery. If so make sure you send plenty of cake, parents often send just a normal cake and forget it might need to be shared between 40 kids!

DappledThings · 04/12/2023 13:22

Entirely up to you. There's no rule about it. I don't remember if mine were ever in on their birthday or not. But nursery isn't compulsory any day.

Mumof2teens79 · 04/12/2023 13:23

Only if you have special plans that can't be done another time.

Personally we never emphasised the actual day. We celebrate birthdays but usually over the course of a week or more, with parties, meals and activities on the nearest suitable day.
Not only does this extend the celebration it makes for a much more flexible child and life later on.
Whether it's exams, work trips away, doctors appointments or anything there have been many times we haven't even done presents "on the day" (at least not in the morning)

But most importantly nursery will love to make a fuss and most kids want to be in school/with friends on their birthday.
If you make a "day off" a birthday treat in itself you are telling your child nursery/school is a chore or punishment.

SisterMichaelsHabit · 04/12/2023 13:25

Or to think of it a different way to everyone else, why wouldn't you if you're home anyway? They're only little once. People said I shouldn't have a party for my 2yo. She loved it. I don't care if she doesn't remember it when she's on her deathbed, we all had a great time and her face when the cake came in was worth all the organising, she even sang along with Happy Birthday.

Helenahandkart · 04/12/2023 13:26

Summermeadowflowers · 04/12/2023 13:21

Just seen the above was @InTheRainOnATrain , who is a sensible poster I like. Just thought I would say that!

Not enough of this type of message on Mumsnet. Good to see an appreciation of sensible advice rather than polarised arguing.
Good work.

Alliolly · 04/12/2023 13:28

I've kept mine off the last couple of years as we did special days out with one of his little friends (zoo & bowling). But our nursery doesn't allow them to bring in any cake or other treats to share and were happy to do his 'nursery celebration' on a different day.

So I'd say it depends if you have something planned and what your child would prefer.

Tisfortired · 04/12/2023 13:30

When my son was in nursery, I would book the day off, send him in for the morning (he was excited as they got cake from nursery and a card and sang songs etc) and that morning gave me chance to tidy, wrap etc prepare and then we’d go and pick him up after nursery lunch time and enjoy the rest of the day.

Rjahdhdvd · 04/12/2023 13:36

I plan to do this; we’ll take him out somewhere. Nothing wrong with sending them in but there won’t be many where I can spend the whole day with him so I want to make the most of that

LBFseBrom · 04/12/2023 13:37

Mybloodisboiling · 04/12/2023 13:17

I’m home as I have a baby and it’s my three going to be four year old birthday on their next nursery day should I keep my child off as they will have nearly every birthday in school.

Yes, why not, it's a special day for her and you can do some nice things together. Enjoy.

givemushypeasachance · 04/12/2023 13:42

The school year is 195 days out of 365 - the majority of kids have birthdays on school days during their childhoods, it's not a curse! As an early June birthday I was actually pretty annoyed my birthday was often half term so didn't often get birthdays in school, or was right next to exams in some years.

Original poster

Mybloodisboiling · 04/12/2023 13:57

No this was my issue the nursery doesn’t allow cake or stickers to be given out to other children the nursery I worked in they had a song cake and a balloon so I think it depends on the nursery. Thank you for your reply’s

OP posts:

CoodleMoodle · 04/12/2023 14:08

When my DC were at preschool we sent them in on their birthdays but they only did 3hrs.

However, I think DS's 4th birthday was on a day he usually did a full sessions (so 6hrs) and I just sent him in for the morning because I knew they'd sing and make a fuss of him too! Plus DD was at school anyway so we couldn't do much until she got back.

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