Staff night out AIBU?

[mumzy7xx]

AIBU Christmas staff night out is coming up already a lot have cancelled due to money or another reason ect. My very close friend also works there too , we get on well with most people. I barely know how I’m going to make it through the week before pay day let alone with Christmas just a few weeks away, she has offered to get me a couple of drinks there but still with drinks before,train ect it will cost. I told her how I feel and my situation and even tho kindly offered to help isn’t quite understanding and being actually quite pushy. Sayings things along the line of ‘everything I’ve done for you in past ect’ ‘ you will be letting me down’ ect , I have a 1 year old to look after she doesn’t so my money priorities are abit different to hers. She is friends enough with our other work Friends to go without me. Also another work college texted me saying ‘I’m not taking no for an answer’
So why is it I’m being backed into a corner and feeling extremely pressured into this am I being unreasonable for cancelling something I simply can’t afford?

Just say no, sorry, can’t afford it!
Be true to yourself. Don’t dance to others’ tune.

(Peer pressure is how some folks end up in debt.)

I would say no and mean it. There’s always next year if your finances improve.

Snd yes, to the one who’s saying ‘ I’m not taking no …’ reply as advised above - “You’ll have to as I’m not going.”

Thank you for everyone’s replies, I actually see this friend a lot outside of work so it’s not that I haven’t really seen her much either , and after feeling so much pressure I’m not sure I even want to go much myself now regardless. She’s very much aware of my money situation but is missing the point of just because I have a little bit of money to tie me over that I have other responsibilities and would actually rather have that money for my DC. I really need to speak up for myself as this is really stressing me out and it’s on Wednesdays. We have been best friends for 10+ years so I thought she may have been a little better understand this. Thank you for everyone’s replies I just hope I can stand firm with this because I know if I go this is going to stress my situation either further.

Fucking staff nights out.
Something that should be fun and enjoyable and invariably ends up causing ructions. Team building and team bonding my arse.
Every one I ever went on ending up with one or more people drinking more than they should and either behaving inappropriately (sexual advances to other members of staff or randoms in the same place) or with reduced inhibitions, telling others exactly what they thought of them.

I got told I was an ugly virgin one year and they were going to ring Trinny and Susannah or whatever their names for and get me a makeover
There were a couple of similar incidents where people directly insulted me to my face. And plenty more incidents where other people were on the receiving end.

So no, don't go.
But I really wish people were more able to stand up for themselves in the first place when the damn things get booked and say no, I won't be attending. If you can't afford it, you can't afford it and that's it.
Just be careful with the "I'm not taking no for an answer" woman. I had someone go on at me like that (once I'd decided I was never going on a staff night out again) and she ended up reporting me to the boss for "being nasty" to her. Which I wasn't. Got hauled into his office about that and given a dressing down.

@hsapposhit

Just be careful with the "I'm not taking no for an answer" woman. I had someone go on at me like that (once I'd decided I was never going on a staff night out again) and she ended up reporting me to the boss for "being nasty" to her. Which I wasn't. Got hauled into his office about that and given a dressing down.

Hope you put him straight on that and, on your own behalf, complained of being bullied... 🌹

Just say no, unfortunately it’s just not going to work for me this year and leave it at that, if she’s a friend she will understand, I know how hard it is and ive had friends like this who try to bully you into things. If keeps going on just change subject/ignore messages etc. it’s hard but you do need to set a precedent