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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to tell me something you love about being a parent

73 replies

Orangeandgold · 03/12/2023 22:11

Today I met up with a friend and her mum. Me and my friend are in our early 30s. We had a 4 way conversation which included me and my daughter who is a tween. We were laughing, bantering, talking about school, childhood and general life (My daughter has quite engaging conversations that my adult friends tend to enjoy - I often really enjoy conversations with her too!).

Although my friends mum was a working parent (so am I) they were sharing so many memories and I loved how close they were.

AIBU to think that most people complain about their children although there are so many gems about being a parent. Obviously not for everyone but I can’t be part of a minority group that enjoy it.

I just want a thread where people share what they love about parenting.

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangeandgold · 03/12/2023 23:59

@Dilbertian sometimes I am a amazed at how much my daughter has been such a cheerleader even at such a young age. They really do out things into perspective!

@larkstar we almost develop a 6th sense with our children! Really enjoyed reading that. I’m ages away from an empty nest but think it’s so important at any age that they can come to us.

@SnowWineBooks someone once told me having children is like letting your heart live outside your body and wonder around. It can be so tough but your post made me think about all of the makeshift gifts and cards that I’ve saved and have stashed in a memory box that we revisit every now and then

OP posts:
SnowWineBooks · 04/12/2023 00:12

It's such a cheesy saying but it's absolutely true. It is absolutely like having your heart walk around outside your body and it is true that you only are as happy as your unhappiest child

GodspeedJune · 04/12/2023 00:28

This is a bit embarrassing but every morning I wake up and look at DD, feeling like it’s Christmas morning. A fizz of excitement and magic and wonder. Even a bad day is never as bad as they were before she was here, just her being here is such a privilege and a comfort. She’s 1 year old now and sometimes I still feel imposter syndrome, like this is someone else’s life and I’m watching from the outside.

She’s the IVF baby that at one point I was told I would never have, I don’t take a minute for granted.

nougatcougar · 04/12/2023 00:35

One of my favourite things at the moment is sharing music with DD19. I'm in a choir and love singing which she is only just beginning to appreciate, and will sing along with me and n a drive. Then we play each other snippets on Spotify to try to impress/introduce something new. It's a great place to be after the teenage years when she couldn't stand me singing and generally everything I did/liked was embarrassing 🤣

Dilbertian · 04/12/2023 00:37

having children is like letting your heart live outside your body and wonder around

Absolutely true. I'd never heard it before, but I've often described my children as a little piece of my heart.

wingetum · 04/12/2023 00:45

I love taking them out to visit places and trips around London. We go out every weekend and I keep up to date with various blogs and social media to find out about things that are happening and it's fun doing creative activities in a gallery, going to a disco or taking them to a theatre show or funfair. The next few weeks will be hectic as there are so many Christmas activities. It's lovely discovering the city again through the eyes of children.

squeekychicken · 04/12/2023 00:47

It's such a cheesy saying but it's absolutely true. It is absolutely like having your heart walk around outside your body and it is true that you only are as happy as your unhappiest child

^^
This is so true

IHateLegDay · 04/12/2023 01:11

When my children tell me they love me/give me a hug out of the blue. It always takes me by surprise and makes me want to burst with love for them.

Fionaville · 04/12/2023 01:14

My kids make me laugh every single day. I'm naturally a very silly person and they are always keen to be silly with me, they've got my humour completely, so we are always laughing together. I often get tears in my eyes when I look at them and get an overwhelming feeling of love and pride, that is completely unmatched.

ApplesinmyPocket · 04/12/2023 01:27

What I love about being a parent: my DDs are in their 30s/40s - is that it's no longer 'just me.' I'm not alone in anything life throws at me. We are a family, and we reap the benefits of that more as time goes on. OK I had years of anxiety, worry, fear for my daughters who both were quite challenging to raise, in their very different ways - from sleepless nights to school issues to post-school issues, eating disorders, etc - but now, all of a sudden it seems, I have a tight-knit little family around me, loving, supportive, and fun.

I can call either of my DDs (or my lovely son-in-law) for help re. eg medical matters (when their father had a stroke in April, life would have been much harder for me without their willing transport, company, support) or a leak in the roof, or ... we just have fun in our Whatsapp group all day, perhaps watching a TV prog together, or a million other little ways we feel close and enjoying being together. I really like them as people. We're always going on holiday together, or shopping together, or just chatting.

If anyone had told me this was a huge benefit of having children when I was struggling with newborns and wondering if I should ever have had them, I would have probably not believed the 'long view' and that it would all come to this. But I am glad, so glad, I had, and have, them.

MariaVT65 · 04/12/2023 04:38

I have a 3 year old and a 1 week old. Knackered but i love them both more than anything. Can’t wait to recover from my section so i can take them out and do proper play.

Another benefit I’ve found is it’s something to really bond over with your other friends who have kids. It’s made me me empathetic.

beforethecoffeegetscold · 04/12/2023 04:59

My son is 7 months and I just love that when he wakes up in the morning and I walk over to his cot he has so much joy on his face when he sees me. It makes the fact that it's only 4 am 100% worth it. The love you feel is incredible ❤️

romdowa · 04/12/2023 05:28

My ds is incredibly funny , he's only 2 but the things he comes out with sometimes are hilarious. He also loves to dance and he'll say your turn mommy and we all get up and dance together. I also love seeing him grow and develop and his little personality shining through

HAF1119 · 04/12/2023 05:38

Oh good, I'm one of these annoying people who just love it all, it's so precious and really is amazing

When a newborn the simple things like when you get the wind out that's caused some tears, how something so small can give you a celebration in the moment! Also when they would slowly sleep more, or have a longer sleep break and you'd just feel like the luckiest person and appreciate sleep like you never did before you had a child!

The entire learning of walking and movement with you there by their side encouraging them

Language! This little human learning the whole range of language largely from you. To me it's just amazing and something we don't get to do other than with our children. In the moments when it could drive me mad repeating the same word 500 times, when the word is learnt, I'd say it a million times more just for that feeling!

When they get certificates at school or run over to you after a school play so proud you watched and saw them take part

Even when they are ill and this vulnerable person feels better in your arms than any medicine could ever make them feel

Parenting is magical I think!

Sceptre86 · 04/12/2023 05:48

Mine are 7, 6 and 2. I love the hugs, kisses, cuddles and watching them grow and develop. Dd7 was asked about her favourite time of the day and she said, 'when mummy comes home from work'. Recently my eldest asked who I loved most and I responded that I loved them all equally only for ds to reply that he loved me a little bit more than he loved his dad but couldn't explain why.Dd2 has started saying, I love you more' when I tell her I love her. It's always noisy and busy in our house but it's a happy home (according to my eldest) and despite all the tantrums and harder challenges yet to come I'm utterly grateful.

riotlady · 04/12/2023 09:18

I didn’t expect to be so genuinely excited when my kids are excited. Like when my daughter found her first wobbly tooth and she ran down the stairs going mummy mummy mummy, and I was so happy for her 😂

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 04/12/2023 09:26

Ive got this thing I do with the cats. I’ll be feeding them or they come to fuss me and I’ll say “ok I’ve seen you I’ve seen you” whilst I give them a fuss.

A few years ago when dd was around 4 I heard a meow in her bedroom followed by “ok I seen ya I seen ya”. Dh and I just started laughing it was so cute she copied me. She’s amazing.

Nightskystarsmoon · 04/12/2023 09:27

The funny things they say that have you in stitches even though they say it innocently.
Yesterday DS10 asked me if I'm an introvert or an expervert.
I had to explain to him it's extrovert.
He said but the kids at school call people perverts, what does that mean?
Words said wrongly is cute too. Youngest says peppyona for pepperoni.

HollyBerryMistletoe · 04/12/2023 09:56

They are so excruciatingly cute that you just want to pinch their cheeks and gobble up their little fingers and toes. (Anyone know why that is? 😄)

When they repeat adult mannerisms or speech in the most comical ways.

Their joy and happiness makes me feel it 100x more than any joy I've ever felt for myself. But this is also the same for their sadness too, it's unbearable!

I really hope my children remain close to me once their adults, I would love to be inundated with grandchildren and surrounded by family.

kikisparks · 04/12/2023 12:11

Hearing her little toddler voice- when she says “miss Mummy” when I come back from work, her delight in the morning when I say it is a “mummy day”, her cuddles, her smile, her laugh, when she is excited about something and goes “oh! Oh!” And just nearly everything, I am infinitely lucky and grateful to have her in my life.

Original poster
Orangeandgold · 13/12/2023 20:40

I’ve really loved reading all of these!! Sometimes I read so much negativity about children - so it’s so nice to read positive things x

@HollyBerryMistletoe I love hanging out with my friends that have younger children and I might spot something grown up that they say or do that reminds me of my friend.

@Nightskystarsmoon haha so cute. That would have been an interesting one to explain!

@ApplesinmyPocket that’s very sweet and a lovely reward. We all hope that we stay close to our children x

OP posts:
SonicAllanKey · 13/12/2023 20:47

Mine are 12 and 9 and for all the challenges, hard work, and everything else I couldn’t be happier to have them around. They’re both bright, funny, interesting kids. They constantly want to learn stuff (on their terms), and are both so different and yet somehow the same. It’s so exciting watching them grow up and seeing the flashes of who they’re going to be.

ShazzyG71 · 13/12/2023 20:50

My DS’s are 16 and 23.
23 is like a good mate. He’s great company. We go to Download festival together most years and to lots of gigs.
16 is hilarious. He’s so quick witted it’s not true. He’s also kind, affectionate and slightly bonkers.

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