Am I a horrible mother?

11 replies

Abbyant · 03/12/2023 21:10

So today dp had a fun run at 9:30 and dd (4) and ds(1) had a Christmas party at 2:30. Dp came home late from work last night so I’d had the children all day and taken on any time watch ups so dp could be rested for his run, this resulted in me being up until 1am with a niggly ds then dd wanted the toilet ( toilet is downstairs) and a drink at 4, then we had to be up for 7:30 to get ready for the fun run. dp runs race and we meet up for food with fil and wife because they also ran the race, then we come home, get the dc changed into party wear and out the door I go with both dc’s for 4 hours of loud children, loud music and tired dc’s. Finally, we come to why I’m a bad mother dd came home with a balloon and dp was winding me up being an idiot, I asked him to take dd to bed because I’ve not had a break from the children all weekend and was done, dp ignored me and told dd to hit me with the balloon, so I popped it with a comb. I’m embarrassed I’ve reacted like that, dd is upset with and dp is angry with me. Am I a bad mother for popping my child’s balloon?

OP posts:

Isthisexpected · 03/12/2023 21:12

Well you took your tiredness and frustration with your husband on your four year old. It isn't going to win you any awards no. He should have stepped up to do bedtime though for sure!

MuchTooTired · 03/12/2023 21:15

You’re not a bad mother! It wasn’t ideal behaviour on anyone’s part, but your DP should’ve done more of the parenting and definitely not encouraged your DC to hit you with the balloon.

I’d suggest discussing it with your DD, apologising for popping the balloon and explaining that you were overwhelmed by that point, and that even mummy’s lose their temper sometimes. It can help to liken it to one of her temper tantrums, or a friends.

Personally I’m a miserable bitch of a mother who bans balloons in the house, and can’t see things flying at my face fast enough so I’d have responded the same way as you did if it had happened to me.

Thepeopleversuswork · 03/12/2023 21:19

It maybe wasn't the zenith of your parenting but no you're not a bad mother. You're a tired and frustrated mother who had a bad day and briefly snapped at her child. It happens to the best of us. And based on the snapshot you've given here your DP is a bit of a dick.

I think you apologise to your DD and give her a big hug and give your DP a rocket for being an arse in private.

Leafysuburb · 03/12/2023 21:22

No, you explain that the reason why you popped the balloon is that we don't hit people with balloons and dp is a manipulative arsehole for suggesting it (possibly leave the last bit out when talking to dd)

LegoDeathTrap · 03/12/2023 21:29

If someone had hit me with a balloon I would haven popped it as well.

And if my “D”H spoke to me like that he and his precious FIL would be managing the kids on their own for the next fun run, including the night before and the afternoon after.

Your DH is an arse.

Janieforever · 03/12/2023 21:32

Yes it was horrible to take your irritation out on a 4 year old, they were only doing as instructed by their father. Wasn’t very nice.

TheKnittedCharacter · 03/12/2023 21:43

You’re not a bad mother but you did something horrible under provocation. Apologise to your dd. Your partner sounds awful.

Original poster

Abbyant · 04/12/2023 13:17

Thank you for all your comments, I spoke to dd this morning and apologised for popping her balloon and explaining that I was frustrated and it wasn’t right of me to take it out on her. Dp also apologised to me this morning and said he shouldn’t have gotten angry as he knew it was very out of character for me to upset our dd and he didn’t realise that when I asked him to take her to bed that I was asking for help because I was at my wits end.

OP posts:

Chicaontour · 04/12/2023 13:24

Really your darling partner didn't realise that you had done all the childcare (while he has a jolly at the fun run with everyone telling him how great he is) and were asking him to step up and act like a parent ? Get frustrated with him more often.

ManateeFair · 04/12/2023 13:55

I mean, it's not fair on your DD that her balloon got popped, but your DH was being an absolute tosser. He needs to tell his DD that he was wrong to be winding mummy up and telling her to hit mummy with a balloon.

liveforsummer · 04/12/2023 16:54

Yes the balloon popping was mean but really he doesn't need to be 'rested' for a fun run. It's hardly a marathon and his choice to do it. He doesn't get to opt out if parenting. No wonder he was full of life to wind you up and no wonder you were annoyed.

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