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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect 6mo not to have false starts

14 replies

SugarPlumFairyTale · 03/12/2023 21:09

LO is 6 months. For the last 3 months he has had a false start every single night. When he false starts I rock him back to sleep and pop him back in the crib but he wakes 10 mins later crying. If I then repeat this he wakes another 10 mins later and so on. So I typically have 30 mins to myself from his bedtime then when he false starts I go to bed and bring him in with me.

I have tried everything- a shorter wake window, a longer wake window. Nothing works.

He can fall asleep independently for naps (in his crib) but not at bedtime hence the rocking to sleep.

How can I get him out of these false starts or aibu to expect these to have gone by now? Does anyone have any advice? I’d love to not have to go to bed at 8pm with him every night. Having no evenings is so sad.

OP posts:
Mumof2R · 04/12/2023 21:28

No advice except to say I’m in the same with my 5mo, false starts plus he wakes every 1.5-2 hours throughout night so I also try to go to bed at 8pm and also get no evenings. Life is truly miserable at the moment with sleep deprivation. However I will say that it does end, I have a 4 year old who was also a dreadful sleeper and she eventually just found her own way, and now sleeps 12 solid hours 75% of the time

Pastaf0rbreakfast · 04/12/2023 21:40

False starts didn’t end for us until DS dropped to 1 nap at 11months. It’s rough so I really feel for you. Haven’t had a false start since then and he is just over 2 now, so it will get better. Even better now he doesn’t nap and goes to sleep at 7pm and DH and I actually get an evening! Feels so luxurious after months of false starts and then months of late bedtime as couldn’t last the day without a nap.

I won’t last forever, even though it feels like it will!

Original poster
SugarPlumFairyTale · 05/12/2023 07:30

Thanks for giving me some hope! Will just have to ride this one out for now.

OP posts:
NotExactlySuits · 05/12/2023 07:32

What is a false start? I've had 3 children and haven't heard of this.

Girasoli · 05/12/2023 07:36

Is the crib cold compared to your arms? When DS1 was a baby I used to put a heated wheat bag in his crib to warm it up while I fed him, then take it out a couple of minutes before putting him in the crib so the crib felt nice and warm and he didn't wake from the change in temperature. (Remember to check first with your hand that it's just warm and not too hot)

Girasoli · 05/12/2023 07:39

(The crib that is, not the wheat bag - the wheat bag shouldn't be in the crib as the same time as the baby!)

Sorry I can't tell if I've phrased that super obviously - I'm tired from a 3 year old that wakes up at dawn.

purplemunkey · 05/12/2023 07:39

Yes, what does false start mean in this context? That you think they’re asleep but they’re not?

Lots of babies don’t sleep. Mine didn’t sleep through the night until 2.5, so multiple trips to settle them were par for course for me.

GoodVibesHere · 05/12/2023 07:43

What on earth is a false start? I've had DC but is this a new thing (I've never heard of it!)

Mumof2R · 05/12/2023 11:38

A false start is when baby goes to sleep for their first stretch of the night but wakes up 10/20/30 whatever minutes later and needs re-settling before doing a longer stretch or a full sleep cycle

WhateverMate · 05/12/2023 11:43

NotExactlySuits · 05/12/2023 07:32

What is a false start? I've had 3 children and haven't heard of this.

I too had 3 kids and have never heard of it but it was really really easy to work out, given the context.

MrsPinkSky · 05/12/2023 11:45

Mumof2R · 05/12/2023 11:38

A false start is when baby goes to sleep for their first stretch of the night but wakes up 10/20/30 whatever minutes later and needs re-settling before doing a longer stretch or a full sleep cycle

I don't understand how that's not glaringly obvious from the opening post 🤷‍♂️

InTheRainOnATrain · 05/12/2023 11:50

I’ve never heard that phrase before but it’s obvious for the context what it means!
OP do you rock to sleep when you first put him down? It’s probably that at 6MO he is more alert than he used to be and he’s realising that it’s stopped and he’s been moved. Imagine if you fell asleep and found you were moved somewhere different, you’d probably wake up shouting too! If you want an evening then you need to do some sleep training and have him fall asleep independently in the cot.

2fast2upset · 05/12/2023 11:54

Yes, you are absolutely unreasonable to ‘expect’ a 6 month old baby to struggle to get to sleep and need settling and help.

What were you expecting?

Lots of posters already have reassured you that it will get better in time and have given you helpful advice to make it easier- but you do really need a grip. Accept that that young babies will struggle, this isn’t the season of ‘having your own evening’ and your expectations are out of whack. Stop making it a battle and change your mindset- accepting defeat honestly eliminates half the stress.

source: had bad biologically and developmentally normal sleepers

keye · 05/12/2023 12:08

Mumof2R · 05/12/2023 11:38

A false start is when baby goes to sleep for their first stretch of the night but wakes up 10/20/30 whatever minutes later and needs re-settling before doing a longer stretch or a full sleep cycle

Basically normal for many babies.

I'm not at all surprised we are giving it a label now though Sad

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