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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Distinctive looks?"

38 replies

Mushroomketchup · 03/12/2023 20:50

I had a haircut the other day. The hairdresser said to me "you have a lovely face. Are you a model"? Laughed out loud and told her she should have gone to Specsavers. But secretly obviously was dead chuffed.

Came home feeling all smug and told my husband. I said "my hairdresser asked if I was a model." He said "probably because of your distinctive looks."

Oh.

Distinctive?! What does that mean???

I know I was a twat for even mentioning it to him but AIBU for feeling a bit deflated 😭

OP posts:
Grammarpolicenenaw · 03/12/2023 20:52

I would say distinctive is a compliment OP!

DoktorPeppa · 03/12/2023 20:53

Difficult to say without seeing you. Why don't you post a picture?

SweetFemaleAttitude · 03/12/2023 20:53

Do you have high cheekbones or strong jawline etc? I would call them distinctive features in a beautiful way.

I'm surprised you equate 'distinctive', with a negative quality.

thedamnseason · 03/12/2023 20:54

Ask him maybe?

theduchessofspork · 03/12/2023 20:57

It’s a compliment!

Models these days do tend to have more distinctive features

Nothingbuttheglory · 03/12/2023 21:00

YABVU.

Distinctive - unusual, striking, memorable, you stand out in a crowd. I get that it's slightly more equivocal than "gorgeous" or whatever but in the context, your DH's words only make sense if he meant them as a compliment.

LightSpeeds · 03/12/2023 21:11

There are people who are conventionally attractive (who fit into a certain type) and people who are attractive, but with more unique looks. Presumably, you are the latter 😀.

bananablues · 03/12/2023 21:17

Distinctive is a compliment in this case. For example Lady Gaga is distinctive, as opposed to Madonna who has more convention attractiveness (imho). Uma Thurman, Cillian Murphy, Natalie Dormer could be other examples of distinctive looks.

catmaine · 03/12/2023 21:27

I'd say someone who was strikingly beautiful was someone who was good looking but didn't fit the features that are fashionable today.

XenoBitch · 03/12/2023 21:35

I was sat with a friend in town, and a guy approached us, and asked to sketch my friend. He said he was was doing an art course, and was out sketching people for practise. I had a look at his book, and he was pretty good.
He said he chose my friend as she had "distinctive looks". She is morbidly obese.

louise475 · 03/12/2023 21:39

@XenoBitch there is something wrong with you

percyfection · 03/12/2023 21:51

@XenoBitch I wasn't expecting that at the end 😂

Isn't it distinctive looks good looking with a not traditionally good looking feature like a big nose?

Scruffington · 03/12/2023 21:55

Someone like Erin O'Connor is a model with distinctive features. Beautiful but not 'girl next door' style pretty.

"Distinctive looks?"
thedamnseason · 03/12/2023 22:04

XenoBitch · 03/12/2023 21:35

I was sat with a friend in town, and a guy approached us, and asked to sketch my friend. He said he was was doing an art course, and was out sketching people for practise. I had a look at his book, and he was pretty good.
He said he chose my friend as she had "distinctive looks". She is morbidly obese.

I mean, the username seems accurate.

tunainatin · 03/12/2023 22:12

I would say the combination of those 2 complements suggests you have something about you which stands out and would make people look again, but in a good way. So not just 'pretty' but more 'striking'. Often those people don't realise how attractive they are.

XenoBitch · 03/12/2023 22:15

louise475 · 03/12/2023 21:39

@XenoBitch there is something wrong with you

Me? The street artist picked on my friend for being fat. Said it was distinctive.

XenoBitch · 03/12/2023 22:16

thedamnseason · 03/12/2023 22:04

I mean, the username seems accurate.

Show quote history

Yes, attack my username because you don't have much else to say.

XenoBitch · 03/12/2023 22:19

percyfection · 03/12/2023 21:51

@XenoBitch I wasn't expecting that at the end 😂

Isn't it distinctive looks good looking with a not traditionally good looking feature like a big nose?

I don't know... in the case of the artist and my friend, he singled her out because she is a large lady.

I would see someone like Tilda Swinton to be distinctive as in good looking but not in the way that current fashions would dictate.

ThinWomansBrain · 03/12/2023 22:22

Last week, someone said that I reminded them of Carmen Miranda (1930's singer/actress who wore fruit on her head) - I was surprised and asked why.
They had a think and decided they meant Carmen Sandiego - whom they described as a distinctive and glamourous videogame character.
Never heard of her, but a step up from a woman with fruit on her head.
(Have recently started wearing a Fedora to keep my head warm).

Hairdresser also complimented me on the hat.

SkaneTos · 03/12/2023 22:22

I assume it's a compliment from your husband?
He is in love with you and thinks you are good looking.

KrisAkabusi · 03/12/2023 22:27

FFS! Are you always so negative? You said you thought you'd received a compliment, and he explained why you deserve it. But fir some reason he's the bad guy? Grow up!

Saz12 · 03/12/2023 22:28

But the street artist said he wanted to sketch her because she looked distinctive, not because she was obese. The latter is only your interpretation.

To me, distinctive is a complement - it doesnt necessarily mean "with an obvious feature" it just means memorable, not bland, interesting.

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 03/12/2023 22:30

I would have thought he meant striking looks. Distinctive = something that stands out.

Volbeat · 03/12/2023 22:38

Eh?? Do you know what distinctive means op?

Are you normally insecure?

Tessisme · 03/12/2023 22:43

I would have been very happy with that remark.

When I was in my teens, I was described as handsome a couple of times, even though I'm female. I remember feeling a bit put out at the time, but when I look back as an adult, I'm really chuffed they thought that. It was a bit more considered than pretty or beautiful (which I'm not anyway😁) and definitely meant as a compliment.

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