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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Dad should’ve done a Covid test before visiting hospitalised aunt

36 replies

avocardigan · 03/12/2023 20:06

Aunt is in hospital with pancreatic cancer, in an oncology ward. Basically she’s getting palliative care, awaiting discharge to go home to die in her own bed with a care team helping her manage her last weeks/months.

Dad tested positive for Covid on Thursday. Today is Sunday and I just found out my Dad went in to visit my Aunt, without testing to see if he was still infectious, and without wearing a face covering.

I can’t even. This is unreasonable isn’t it? An oncology ward. Nobody there needs a Covid infection to manage as well as everything else they have got to endure.

OP posts:
IAmAnIdiot123 · 03/12/2023 21:56

NHS staff are being asked to go in with positive tests if they feel well enough so I'm not overly sure where I sit on this one.

Whiterose23 · 03/12/2023 22:00

In many hospitals staff working in cancer areas are asked to test if they display symptoms and isolate if they are positive.
A lot of patients on this ward will be receiving curative treatment, it’s beyond selfish to go in if displaying symptoms of any virus or testing positive for covid!

BananaSquiggle · 03/12/2023 22:02

2023forme · 03/12/2023 20:27

testing is pointless now. Symptoms are what matter - if someone is feverish/unwell/coughing and spluttering etc, they shouldn’t be visiting vulnerable people and should limit all social contact as much as possible.

Otherwise and if symptom free - it doesn’t really matter what virus the person has, they are only a real “danger” if they are symptomatic. This is true for non-Covid viruses which we cannot test for.

your aunt will be getting cared for by health professionals who may have various viruses. And other visitors/patients.

This is nonsense. If you test positive you’re still shedding virus and are contagious. Please at a minimum keep away from vulnerable people - or at least oncology wards!

IdealisticCynic · 03/12/2023 22:06

lljkk · 03/12/2023 20:16

I can't live the way you want your dad to live.

You can’t live in a way that would mean avoiding visiting an oncology ward where people might suffer more or their treatment be made more complex or even die because you have knowingly brought in Covid?

What a truly selfish and unpleasant person you are.

IdealisticCynic · 03/12/2023 22:07

I’m with you, OP. I’d be so angry and sad if my father did that. YANBU.

2023forme · 03/12/2023 22:54

BananaSquiggle · 03/12/2023 22:02

This is nonsense. If you test positive you’re still shedding virus and are contagious. Please at a minimum keep away from vulnerable people - or at least oncology wards!

Show quote history

Bit hard for me as I work on an oncology ward (well a chemo clinic)!
staff are not testing routinely - we are only to test if we have respiratory symptoms. Staff outside of oncology don’t need to test if they have respiratory symptoms - they are advised to stay off until they feel better.

IVFlife · 03/12/2023 22:56

Yanby

BananaSquiggle · 04/12/2023 08:09

2023forme · 03/12/2023 22:54

Bit hard for me as I work on an oncology ward (well a chemo clinic)!
staff are not testing routinely - we are only to test if we have respiratory symptoms. Staff outside of oncology don’t need to test if they have respiratory symptoms - they are advised to stay off until they feel better.

Edited
Show quote history

But we’re talking about someone who did a test, presumably because he had symptoms, and it was positive. Regardless of your reckless work policy, I hope you’d want to check whether you’re still infectious before visiting your dying SIL!

2023forme · 04/12/2023 20:21

BananaSquiggle · 04/12/2023 08:09

But we’re talking about someone who did a test, presumably because he had symptoms, and it was positive. Regardless of your reckless work policy, I hope you’d want to check whether you’re still infectious before visiting your dying SIL!

Show quote history

No I wouldn’t test - I’d just stay away until I had no symptoms.

Say I tested and it was negative - it’s negative for Covid only - I could have another virus which I can’t test for. So a negative test would give me a false sense of security. I could happily visit with another infectious virus but I think I’m “safe” because the Covid test was negative.

can you see why Covid testing is not universally helpful?

BananaSquiggle · 04/12/2023 20:42

2023forme · 04/12/2023 20:21

No I wouldn’t test - I’d just stay away until I had no symptoms.

Say I tested and it was negative - it’s negative for Covid only - I could have another virus which I can’t test for. So a negative test would give me a false sense of security. I could happily visit with another infectious virus but I think I’m “safe” because the Covid test was negative.

can you see why Covid testing is not universally helpful?

Show quote history

No. We were discussing a scenario where you (hypothetically, or as per OP’s Dad) specifically knew you had Covid a few days ago. It’s pretty unlikely you now have something different.

More generally, the NHS and the world are very much on the lookout for tests that reliably diagnose other respiratory viruses and infections, enabling both appropriate treatment and appropriate protective measures. Not yet knowing all the answers isn’t an excuse for ignoring the answers we have so far.

2023forme · 04/12/2023 21:28

BananaSquiggle · 04/12/2023 20:42

No. We were discussing a scenario where you (hypothetically, or as per OP’s Dad) specifically knew you had Covid a few days ago. It’s pretty unlikely you now have something different.

More generally, the NHS and the world are very much on the lookout for tests that reliably diagnose other respiratory viruses and infections, enabling both appropriate treatment and appropriate protective measures. Not yet knowing all the answers isn’t an excuse for ignoring the answers we have so far.

Show quote history

Well we will need to agree to disagree.
my opinion (granted it is just that) is that testing is largely irrelevant now. I (and in the hospital where I work) am basing my decisions on having sypmtoms (or not). It’s the only really long term workable solution.

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