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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it me? Or him?

32 replies

museumum · 03/12/2023 17:56

We are in the house after a family lunch out. Doing chores and just hanging out, each doing their own thing. Open plan space. Me, dc and dh. Is it reasonable for dh to wear headphones?

OP posts:
Original poster
museumum · 03/12/2023 18:35

FrecklyFrog · 03/12/2023 18:30

It would be odd if it was during dinner, or during cuppa and a cake or something - prime chatting time. But if he's listening to music, podcast, videos, etc then I don't see it as any different to someone sitting reading a book. You wouldn't interrupt them all the time to chat then either?

See for me it wouldn’t be “odd” at dinner time. It would be utterly 100% unacceptable for anyone in the family to wear headphones through dinner!!!
i suppose I’m just less tolerant than most of you.

OP posts:
Monwmum · 03/12/2023 18:49

My DH does this and it really irritates me. We will all be sitting together watching TV and he will have one headphone in and watching some crap on YouTube at the same time. I think it's really rude and I've told him so but he doesn't seem to care 🙄

In all other ways he's great so maybe it's just bite my tongue time 🤔

You are not weird to want to chat to your husband!!

FrecklyFrog · 03/12/2023 19:17

museumum · 03/12/2023 18:35

See for me it wouldn’t be “odd” at dinner time. It would be utterly 100% unacceptable for anyone in the family to wear headphones through dinner!!!
i suppose I’m just less tolerant than most of you.

Show quote history

Yes, unacceptable in this house too, I was just meaning that would be properly strange behaviour - whereas I don't find your example that annoying personally. You're absolutely entitled to have your own tolerance levels on anything though!

PTSDBarbiegirl · 03/12/2023 19:21

Yes. You say everyone is doing their own thing so maybe he is decompressing. Would it be OK for you to do that? Unless you stated you wanted time, chat or shared activity I can't see issue.

RobertaFirmino · 03/12/2023 19:36

Maybe he wants to concentrate on the podcast without being interrupted? My DH is like this, interrupting my footy for something completely pointless. Gets on my nerves, we have all weekend to 'chat', why try and talk over one of the most important things in my life?

FairytaleOfKent · 03/12/2023 19:56

It depends if he has headphones on all evening apart from at dinner. I would find that rude but if it's for an hour or two then YABU.

Fairtobefairohhhhhc · 03/12/2023 20:02

I wish my DH would use headphones! I got some for the dc too! Try listening to 4 kids listening to different things plus your dh at the same time. We have like a gadget hour where they are free to do what they want. But when it's all going on, I don't want to hear it all!

I also have a weekly book club via zoom. One hour on a Tuesday and one hour on a Friday. I use headphones too. It's a new thing and I don't have any other hobbies. No one bats an eyelid

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