To ask if what age this might get easier? Is it true this will only get worse?

[Lemonjs]

Dc is 14 months. Sees his dad once a month due to nature of his work, been like that since day one. I have no family support. I keep being told age two is the worst so prepare for that but I’m already finding it hard.

In the last week I have really began to struggle. I do work part time and to be honest those days are more of a rest as dc is in nursery. I find weekends hard as he won’t walk far but doesn’t like the pram. I gave up yesterday and we stayed in. II was ok but long. He’s pretty chilled generally but I feel quite low. Not really enjoying it anymore and everything is about getting through the day. He won’t play properly so things are thrown or it’s a v v v repetitive game that makes me want to cry with boredom. I do see friends but then it’s a case of packing looooads of stuff up for the day so he has everything. Will it get better? I hear two is meant to be even worse?!

Mine is 3 next week and I would honestly say 2 has been the best age so far!

Communication in sentences, can walk, run etc... emergence of imaginary play and interest in putting on own clothing. Actually really playing with peers. Dropping the nap is a challenge but it means your much less restricted in terms of your day.

There are tantrums of course but I found those could largely be controlled by making sure toddler isn't hungry. Cuddles are usually enough to end the tantrum fairly quickly.

Now approaching 3 behaviour has really ramped up. I expecting this to be a more challenging year.

Get out more. Doesn't have to be with friends.

A group. The library. Play park. Duck pond. Plane spotting. Give yourselves something to do.

It's not necessarily true that 2 is worse. Everyone is different.

It sounds really tough. It will pass and you'll look back on it and almost miss it!!!

Yes it definitely gets easier and the people who say it only gets harder deserve a slap. Maybe they had easy babies; I didn't!!

When my youngest was 1, she didn't want to go in the pushchair, so I got a SmarTrike which she loved, thankfully, and was happy to go in. Christmas present maybe?

You are in the stage I found most difficult, for exactly the reason you mentioned - DS could not walk properly but was discontented in the buggy, too young to settle to anything but old enough to get irritated and need constant attention. Work was also my saviour, and I think that is not unusual.

Also this is a cold and muddy time of year which gives you less options. I don't have an amazing solution for you (although lots of toddler groups helped, and seeing friends even briefly helped), but I can say things got easier from that point on, and I didn't find 2 a difficult age. Just before starting school was another tricky stage, but not as bad and I knew school would help, which it did.

Basically what you are experiencing is normal as far as I'm concerned, and will get better rather than worse.

Will he go in one of those push along bikes? My DD has always hated the pram but will go on her 'bike'. That age is difficult and I found it relentless, DD is now 20mo and it does feel easier xx

why are you letting him dictate whether you use the pushchair or not. it is up to you, you are the adult

They're all so different. For me it got easier and easier as time passed. Two was definitely a lot easier than one - they could walk more, they had more common sense so less likely to get in to danger, they could talk more so it became more interesting and enjoyable. You could do more interesting activities with them. Both of mine had epic toddler tantrums but still I enjoyed it. Once they're at school I found it easy.

Honestly, 2 is a bazillion times easier. They can walk, run, climb and, so long as they’re talking fluently, can let you you know what they want so even meltdowns are less painful.

DD2 is 2.5 and ridiculously easy now. Even with DH working most weekends now, she’s a doddle to bring along to DD1’s swimming lessons, reception class parties etc.

Don’t listen to the naysayers - in my opinion, every step towards school age makes life easier and easier. And, even if they are horrors during the teenage years, at least we won’t be having to play trains/farms/stacking over and over and over again.

There's always one.

Of course you can forcibly strap them in and I'm sure the OP does when she really needs to get somewhere but it's hardly a nice outing if your child is screaming their head off because they hate being in the buggy.

DS2 was also a little Houdini and could actually wriggle out of a lot of harnesses also.

I found every year easier than the last. I hated the baby stage up to age two. After that they get fun. You must be so lonely. Can you use an app like Peanut to find local mum friends?

I have 3, and for all of them I found the time from when they were toddling to about 2.5 yo the most exhausting and my least favourite age as you can’t relax for a minute - they’re fully mobile but have no sense, understanding or self control. So yes in my experience it gets easier (although each age has its challenges!)

it is not beyond the wit of a normal adult to fix the harness so they cant wiggle out, and he wont be screaming his head off once he has learnt it has no effect.

Whatever the (male, childless) experts say, now is the time to use TV as a nanny for an hour a day or so. Let him watch while you do something more interesting

I’m not a male, childless expert, but honestly I really wouldn’t do this.

No, an hour of TV will not damage your child. But turning to the box for a bit of peace and respite from boredom can be habit forming for you both. It’s like a glass of wine of an evening - healthy if chosen now and again for enjoyment but not if needed out of desperation. One hour once a day during a rough week could become two hours twice a day as a matter of routine.

Then you run the risk of your child becoming overly dependent on screens to regulate their emotions and/or little imagination to see them through times when they are bored. Technology may seem like a blessing now but you could be making a rod for your own back in eight years time.

I found that a VERY hard age. It starts to ease off from about 2, certainly from 3 onwards. 3 to maybe 7 or 8 is super fun. Hang in there, I was often bored and lonely when mine were that age. It is certainly tough and it most certainly will get easier in lots of ways. My only regret (and I may have a bit of Rose tinted glasses going on here) is that I look back at their cute photos from back then and wish I'd tried more to just enjoy it, hard as it was. Because it ultimately goes so so quickly. But easy to say now that I'm out of that intense stage.

Age 2 was the absolute best for me.

Aside from maybe the newborn stage, the age you are in now (circa 10 months to 15/16 ish months) was the absolute worst. Can’t walk far but don’t want to sit in the pram. Can’t really play with toys. Too young for toddler focussed activities. Desperate to speak but can’t so soooo fussy. I remember weekends being absolutely awful when I first went back to work after mat leave with my first.

Everyone is different but I personally think it gets better the older they get with a blip at age 3

Yes it does, promise. 14 months is bloody hard work. Mine was 14 months when we went into lockdown and I was trying to work at home with him. It was awful.

This is a really hard stage. Getting outside even if he screams will help, but honestly just do whatever you can to get through the day, and pay for childcare to give you a break. Working is easier than looking after a toddler, no question.

It gets easier when they start talking enough to communicate. 2.5 was a big improvement for us, but it does just get incrementally better.

Two is not guaranteed to be a problem, not every toddler or even most have a 'terrible twos', so you can't really predict it.

It's also not beyond the wit of a normal adult to have some compassion for someone finding this stuff hard rather than patronise them

(Mine are well past this age but I do remember what it was like)

I found 12-18 months the hardest bit. Mine are now 5 and 9 and it's an absolute breeze now comparatively. Even 2 made a huge difference.

One thing that helped me. DS2, though not fond of the buggy, proved to be a brilliant little walker, so we walked everywhere from a very young age. A scooter can be helpful too when he's a bit older.

Don't be ridiculous.

OP It's fine to watch an hour of TV a day, as long as you're doing other stuff too.

I would just shoehorn him into the buggy with one of those puddle suits on and go to the park. They need a bit of fresh air every day.

I found that age a bit tedious, but there's difficult bits at every age.

I forgot a funny anecdote- I avoid the word "no" in our home mostly because I know toddlers pick it up as a way to yield their power, and I don't want to have a tiny terrorist yelling no at me. It's worked well for my other 3 kids, but it backfired on my 4th. So the only word she's ever heard yelled out or said forcefully is "Ow!" because she's constantly hurting us...so now instead of no! all we hear 1000+ times a day is "OW!!" Even today she went on a rant going "Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!!!" for several minutes straight. She never says it when she's hurt. It's just a no replacement. The worst part is when we're in public and she starts screaming OW!! The looks I've gotten! This will be a lot funnier later on. I can't wait because it's a bit maddening in the moment!

I found the age you are at absolutely soul destroying. With both my children, I feel like it got better & better from around 2, and I started to actually enjoy it! They are 6 & 3 now and absolutely wonderful. You are in the hardest bit by far - there's light at the end of the tunnel!!

Agreed- Vooks and Super Simple Songs both on Youtube are great! Especially for a single work from home mother! Along with outside time, physical play, reading time, etc. I feel sad for kids I see in public that have a phone in their face, like little zombies. I've seen infants in their car seat with a phone propped up at their feet. If your kids can't exist without a screen it's a problem. A few minutes here and there or even 2 hours straight (we love our movie nights!) is not a problem.

Being a parent is never easy. Each new stage brings a new set of challenges. I had three under 16 months and for me and them we got out every day rain snow. They had loads of energy. A massive trampoline and them learning to rude a bike was the best thing ever.
My motto was keep them busy so they sleep. Do you have NT membership loved those places and the volunteers as they got older.

not patronising anyone, just pointing out that this is a non issue - the op can CHOOSE to let pram refusal be an issue or they can CHOOSE to take control of it, and not allow a one year old to dictate - they want to know how to make life easier, there it is - dont allow a one year old to dictate to you