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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DS birthday money argument Aibu

36 replies

Mrsbusybody · 02/12/2023 19:50

Me and DH have been with each other for 6 years and it’s been a very bumpy 6 years in all honesty probably should have called it quits years ago.

We had a huge argument today over DS birthday money. DS was opening his card and DH took the money of him to keep in his wallet and I said no DS can keep £20 and I will put the reaming £40 in his bank account.
He refused to hand me over the money and it blew up he then starting rowing at mum and was so disrespectful to her. Mum started to cry it broke my heart.

Once DS seen DH saying no I can’t keep hold of the money. DS started lashing out on me and going on DH’s side.

DH is his step dad and I appreciate that’s the only dad he’s ever had however I still feel like I should be able to make the decisions for DS.

AIBU? Would you want your partner holding onto kids birthday money in his wallet.

OP posts:

funbags3 · 02/12/2023 20:58

Do you have anywhere to go? You said you should have left years ago, there's no time like now. Get your ducks in a row.

caringcarer · 02/12/2023 21:06

Mrsbusybody · 02/12/2023 20:43

he was 7 and had a birthday party all money was from his friends. I said he could keep his £20 from his grandma rest can go in his bank until he has an idea of what he wants to buy. Me and DH’s relationship isn’t great so I don’t want him having his money.

He wanted to lend money from DS savings the other day to pay a fine even though he had the money already and I wouldn’t lend it to him and I said no.

Don't let him steal your D's birthday money or shout at your poor mother. Ask him to leave. He sounds like a control freak and a bully.

StSwithinsDay · 02/12/2023 21:15

Ask him to leave.
She can't. The house is rented in his name.

Askingforafriend101 · 02/12/2023 21:18

If I was you I would make an appointment with womens aid.... they are fab you could go through everything with them and tell them you want to leave they will help with benefits finding somewhere etc its not just for women who are physically abused they are fab source of info and you can tell them everything in confidence x

Original poster

Mrsbusybody · 02/12/2023 21:20

He’s shouted at mum before but apologised shortly after so I forgave him. But I’m not prepared to do that again and I want a different life for myself. Mum lives in a retirement home with one bedroom so can’t go there.

OP posts:

miniegg3 · 02/12/2023 22:21

It wouldn't bother me who's wallet my sons money went into, because both of us would make sure it was spent by him on what he wanted. Just keeping it safe so it wouldn't get lost.. I'm assuming this wouldn't be the case here and that's why you didn't want him having it?

miniegg3 · 02/12/2023 22:22

OK, just read more.. you don't borrow money from a 7 year old.. Jesus!

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 02/12/2023 22:27

miniegg3 · 02/12/2023 22:21

The bullying step dad who shouted at an elderly lady who lives in a retirement home, more than once? And who already wanted to take his step sons money to pay a fine he got? You dont think that might be slightly different? FFS.

He’s shouted at mum before but apologised shortly after so I forgave him.
youve no business forgiving him, op. It was your mum who was crying. How dare you tell him he is forgiven.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 02/12/2023 22:29

Protect your little boy and his young life and your elderly mum in her retirement from this waste of human skin.

SuffolkUnicorn · 02/12/2023 22:42

Control freak

determinedtomakethiswork · 02/12/2023 22:47

He is stealing from your child and makes your mother cry. What will it take for you to dump him?

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