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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel under appreciated…

12 replies

IndiKid2015 · 02/12/2023 19:45

DH and I have had little time together without the kids throughout our relationship (he had a child when we got together). In part because we’ve not had much help with childcare but admittedly also because I wanted it this way (I thought he did too).

Tonight we find ourselves child free, step child not with us this weekend and our shared dc are having a sleepover at grandparents for the second time in 8 years. It’s freezing so we don’t want a big night out but I thought perhaps we could go to the pub or something. I went to get changed and DH has slagged off every one of my outfits until I ended up back in the jeans and basic jumper I’ve had on all day. That’s when I threw a strop and said I didn’t want to go out. It feels like a wasted opportunity but I also now feel bad and don’t want to go out because I think I must look dreadful, am I being unreasonable.

OP posts:
tachycardigan · 02/12/2023 19:48

YANBU. Sounds like he was angling for a fight or to put you down. Does he often criticise you? It sounds horrible. What was this prince wearing?

IndiKid2015 · 02/12/2023 19:56

He’s not much into fashion and just wearing jeans and a top. I wasn’t going really extra, probably leather leggings and an oversized jumper or a jumper dress with tights and boots but I’ve put some make up on and done my hair etc… our relationship isn’t very equal, I do everything for the kids, most of the household stuff, work full time and earn most of our money. Would it kill him to tell me he appreciates me once in a while?

OP posts:
greencheetah · 02/12/2023 19:58

Christ! What’s he bringing to the party?

IndiKid2015 · 02/12/2023 20:00

Nothing really, I don’t know how I got here.

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 02/12/2023 20:03

He sounds like a waste of space frankly. Maybe it’s time to have a serious think about how you want your future to look…

Morechocmorechoc · 02/12/2023 20:08

Maybe you should have this conversation with him. You will be better off finding someone who cares and pulls their weight

moijejoue · 02/12/2023 20:10

IndiKid2015 · 02/12/2023 19:56

He’s not much into fashion and just wearing jeans and a top. I wasn’t going really extra, probably leather leggings and an oversized jumper or a jumper dress with tights and boots but I’ve put some make up on and done my hair etc… our relationship isn’t very equal, I do everything for the kids, most of the household stuff, work full time and earn most of our money. Would it kill him to tell me he appreciates me once in a while?

Your outfits sound like really cute winter outfits. I'm sorry he was mean to you.
I'm having a rubbish time with my DH at the moment and can completely empathise. I hope you're ok x

ANightingale · 02/12/2023 20:10

Who does he think he is, criticising your outfits? What a tosser.

tachycardigan · 02/12/2023 20:12

Please leave this tosser! You have everyone’s permission, not that you need it.

Nonplusultra · 02/12/2023 20:12

Your outfits sound lovely,

Leafysuburb · 02/12/2023 20:13

He's intimidated no doubt. Loser!

Eatbetterthisweek · 02/12/2023 20:16

Honestly, I would put an outfit on and go out on my own. Seriously think about dumping this man.

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