Dad left in a huff because of the dog

[LittlestG]

One of my brothers is hosting myself, DH and DD along with other brother and SIL for the night. We're having a takeaway this evening and just have a generally nice time. Dad was also invited with Step-Mum, we have a fractious relationship as he was quite abusive when we were younger, which may or may not add context. Dad said he'd only come if he could bring his dog.

My brother had told him that if he brought the dog with him, he'd have to keep him in the kitchen because they have two cats, and our DD is terrified of my dad's dog after he knocked her over and kept trying to hump her last time she saw him. He's very badly behaved and my brother didn't want the dog in the house at all, but agreed on the compromise of having the dog in the kitchen until they went to their nearby Air BnB for the night (there isn't enough space for Dad and Step-Mum to stay here, plus they found a dog friendly place to stay which made more sense than leaving the dog in the kitchen all night).

Anyway, long story short, my Dad has driven 3 hours down to visit and within 15 minutes has left my brother's house after having a huge huff, because he said he wouldn't put the dog in the kitchen and immediately tried to bring it into the front room. My brother said he couldn't do that because of DD, nephew and the cats and he wasn't happy.

Dad has flown off the handle, said he doesn't feel welcome and that it wasn't fair on him, or the dog. Dad said he felt that it wasn't fair on the dog because the dog might 'chew things' if he was left on his own, but my brother feels like he told Dad from the start that the dog was only allowed in the kitchen and it's his house and his rules.

My brother is really quite upset, have we been unreasonable by not chasing him out of the house and telling Dad to stay?

You and your brother are unreasonable to put yourselves through trying to have a relationship with your abuser.
But not about the dog.

He is an arse. He was told the dog had to stay in kitchen which he agreed to then spat his dummy out when he couldn't pressure you all into doing what he wanted

Your DF is a total shit - but i'm sure you know that already.

I'm surprised your DB was even allowing the dog in the kitchen - most unhygienic.

Good for your brother not backing down and being bullied. If the kids witnessed this tantrum then I wouldn't want them to be around him in future. Nasty bully of a man.

I don't get the entitlement of people who take their dogs to other people's houses and expect the dog to be treated like a valued guest! And I'm a dog owner.
Your dad is being completely unreasonable!

Your db has done nothing wrong by maintaining his perfectly reasonable boundaries. Your df is a twat.

Do we have to do the whole 'entitled dog owner' shit again?

This isn't about the dog is it, this is about an abusive bully of a man who was told the rules, and then marched in and demanded they be altered for him because he said so.

He'd be an abusive arsehole no matter what the parameters were, the fact it is a dog in this instance, is irrelevant.

He knew the rules, he didn't like them, had no intention of sticking to them, no consideration for anyone else in the building nor why those rules existed... he's an arsehole.

Exactly what I was going to say.

Your father will let that dog kill the cats if it gets a chance. None of you should let either father or dog near you.

Why? The dog is just sitting in the kitchen, it's not prepping any one's food or pissing on the trifle.

Its a LOT more hygenic than cats that walk across worktops and lick taps

Yep! Still an abusive arsehole then.

Good riddance to the bully and well done to your brother for standing up to him. I hope he’s never invited to any of your houses again.

Sorry but your Dad is a twat.

No need to apologise, I have fully accepted the man is a bellend, sadly my brothers hadn't yet so it's upset them quite a lot.

Just enjoy the rest of your stay and park your still abusive father in the back of your mind. I'd also consider a family talk of potentially going no contact with him to protect the next generation. I wouldn't have him in the same airspace as my DC. Well done to your brother - he did a hard but right job standing up to him. Honestly the damage that these types of people do is unbelievable and far reaching.

Your Dad was told clearly what the rules were and chose to ignore them, so it's on him

Here's hoping your brothers have finally grasped what a PoS your father is, and don't waste any more time on him.

This