AMA im a perfectionist

[Perfectionisttt]

This might be the most boring and dull AMA ever but I’ve seen similar before and just thought I’d give it a go!

i’ve been quite an extreme perfectionist since I was a young child and unfortunately still am to this day. Just wondered if anyone had any questions or things they wondered about perfectionism or anything like that?

cheers 🙂

if people don’t believe it they’re absolutely welcome to their opinion and that’s totally fine, but it sort of shows the point of my thread which was that perfectionism isn’t really understood very well as many people think it means you have to perfect at everything and that’s not the case- usually there’s a few areas in life you become obsessed and focused on and you don’t really care if other areas are not perfect

As others have said your posts do seem a bit slapdash. Is it just maths you’re obsessed with? My view of a perfectionist is someone who applies this level of correctness to all aspects of their life. What you’re describing sounds like OCD and a personality disorder.

No- it was lots of different areas of my life I just accidentally used the maths example a few times. I’m not really sure how to answer your question sorry, as I’ve said a few times perfectionism isn’t always just being perfect at absolutely everything. According to what I’ve been told by professionals, it usually manifests in certain areas- for example very successful and talented musicians can be consumed by perfectionism about music and not about sports etc. I’m not sure where you’re getting the personality disorder bit from my posts sorry?

Ok. Which areas of your life are you a perfectionist about? You mention cramming for coursework 15 hours a day, but also that you got a 2:1, are you saying your perfectionism doesn’t reap perfect results - and that makes you anxious? I’m finding it hard to grasp as a concept, because if I thought I was perfect at something (I do not) - would not my results and outcomes be perfect too?

@wishingiwas20something
Sorry, im on my laptop now and for some reason I can't quote your post to reply so just tagging you in this! Hope it works.

I'm really not trying to be obtuse but I dont understand your last sentence at all... I dont think im perfect, where did I say that? perfectionism doesn't mean you think you're perfect- it means you're utterly devastated if you don't achieve whatever unreasonable or unmanageable goal you set yourself.

yeah, that's the entire point- you become obsessed with trying to get perfection but in doing so end up sabotaging yourself and you can't get perfection. With my example about studying for 15+ hours a day- I was obsessed, and I mean obsessed, with getting 100% as I deemed anything less to be failure and awful and worthless etc. And the problem is that sometimes you do achieve 100% which means your brain sort of reiterates to itself that it was correct and it hammers in the idea that perfection is possible. But ultimately it sometimes just isn't, but by that point its so engrained its hard to get out the cycle.

yeah, I studied for 15+ hours a day regularly. But by not taking breaks to do anything else, not letting your brain refresh, not eating proper meals etc its a vicious cycle and you end up doing worse. I frequently collapsed or had breakdowns because I was so terrified of not getting 100% and you end up completely self sabotaging.

I dont know what's worse tbh- achieving whatever unrealistic goal was set and then having your brain think the unhealthy lifestyle is good and so starting a vicious cycle, or not achieving it and being utterly devastated and feeling totally worthless. there's no good outcome tbh