To put a really strong parental block on the pc because dp keeps downloading porn?

[bogie]

I use this computer for work and dp thinks its ok to keep downloading porn and other crap onto it so i have put parental controls onto strong. (and deleated all his stuff music, photos, films, emails.)
He has been an arse all day and has now gone in a strop upstairs.
I'm sick of spam emails saying free porn here free viagra ect.
So aibu?

agnes, its insulting that he fills the computer his wife uses with p*r n.

Is this your computer bogie, or a joint computer?

If you use it for work, is it actually owned by your work?

I don't blame you for wanting to put the parental lock on. Especially, since you've told him how you feel about it numerous times and you have been embarrassed in front of family members with porn suddenly appearing on the media player!!

I think deleting the music was possibly a bit mean though!!

If it is your work computer then you can do what you like to it.

I added a key logger to our one cos dp kept looking at porn etc but dp found it..... He thought it was funny cos it was called KGB keylogger and he now thinks that I work for the KGB. Thank god he found it funny!!

My mum bough the pc for us because I needed a new one to work from.
But we both use it I don't mind him going on things but I'm sick of him downloading stuff.

Agnes.. good point.. bogie is treating him as though she is his mother because he is insisting on persistant childlike behaviour!

I don't see porn as an issue. Unless he's downloading something illegal it's not the end of the world

I agree that if it makes you uncomfortable you should talk about it, but to effectively ban him from using the computer is like grounding a child, and no matter what you perceive his misdemeanour's to be you have no right to do that.

Sorry if I sound blunt, I'm just a little tired of people wailing about how bad porn is. It's porn, nothing more or less and certainly not enough to get het up about. We are such an uptight country in this regard.

Agnes

Anges

I don't think you have read the thread properly I don't mind him looking at porn.

What I do mind is it being downloaded onto my computer.
And I do mind him sneeking of in the middle of the night to do it aswell.

I would be pretty pissed off if I asked DP not to leave things around for other people to see, he doesn't 'do' porn but he does watch some things that I wouldn't want the children to see for example, and I'd talk to him about it.
I'd also be pissed if he came donwstairs to read his emails at 3am let alone d/l porn!

But I still don't think that it is fair to delete his music files.
He is your partner, an equal, not an inferior, it's not all about what you want, he ahs a choice too.

But he's not treating bogie like an equal is he? He is behaving as if her feelings/wishes are irrelevant. Perhaps tit for tat isn't helpful but should she just put up with it? He clearly doesn't respond to talking about it.

This surfing/downloading at 3am bogie, are you sure he's not up to something more "interactive" online? He may not be of course, but this is what online porn can lead onto when men get a habit/taste for it and is what many Mners, I have noticed, fail to take on board when they are saying leave men to look at their porn; it's their business etc.

I thnk that the parental control is quite fair wrt him not stopping d/ling porn and it appearing at the wrong times, but the music was uncalled for.

OP I would probably have done the same thing out of spite/frustration.

It's your computer, you can reformat the hard drive or use it as a doorstop if you want. Let him get his own computer and do what he wants with it if he doesn't want to play by your rules on your equipment.

OK deleting the music was a bit wrong but HA HA HA I bet it made you feel better

I don't see why we should be reasonable all the time!!!

Bloody hell I would go ballistic if my dh got out of bed with me and went downstairs in the middle of the night to download porn

Not exactly treating you with respect is it?

Do you not lie in bed thinking of him wnaking on his own downstairs while his family sleep? Rather a sordid and unpleasant little scenario really...

He could wait til you were out ffs!

I am at you putting parentla controls on a joint computer to prevent your ADULT DP from accessing things that are perfectly legal for over 18's to access.

You need to talk to him about it, like an adult, not treat him like a kid by deleting his files or limiting his internet access.

You are not his mother or his moral guardian.

NDP, apparently she has tried to discuss t before and it has got to the point where pop-ups appear and she has put the media player on only for porn to start playing.
That would piss me off and I'd possibly do the parental control thing, for that reason alone.
However I would also say that I had no problem with him accessing his sites, and even take the Parental Control off for him if he could assure me it was going to be safe for me and my children to use afterwards

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