Page 2 | Birthday party - one child excluded

Gifgirl · 2023-12-02T10:22:04+00:00

8 year olds friend is having a birthday party. She's having an activity which involves the kids having to be a certain height. The whole class are going - bar mine, who isn't tall enough. I can't help feeling really sad for her. I know there are situations where they won't be invited to stuff, and of course we talked about that, but when they are the only kid not invited to their friends party, how do you deal with that? We will do a fun activity instead but she's very upset.

Original poster

Gifgirl · 02/12/2023 11:19

Whattodo112222 · 02/12/2023 11:11

That sounds lovely, but are you sure she's not on mumsnet and saw your thread?

If she did, I hope she knows that I was genuinely just asking for advice on how to navigate DD through this when she was upset.

They are a lovely family, I'm sure she gets it x

OP posts:

Dontjudgeme101 · 02/12/2023 11:22

Brilliant update. 💐💐

caringcarer · 02/12/2023 11:22

Gifgirl · 02/12/2023 10:55

Possibly the quickest update known to humans but I've just had a lovely call from the birthday girls Mum who asked me to put the phone on loudspeaker so she could talk to both me and DD.

She said that as soon as she is tall enough for the activity, she will take both girls there as a special treat and for cake after.

I now have a smiley DD!

Lovely.

SandyWaves · 02/12/2023 11:24

Even if she did now call, leaving one child out is horrible.

I would not have chosen an activity that excluded one kid. I just couldn't have the heart to do that. There are so many things you can do.

At the very least, she should have sent an invite so your child received one along with the other children, and she could have explained the difficulty with the height restriction, but still asked your daughter to attend. She could have hired a face painter or something for kids that might not be able/want to do the activity. There's no height restriction for that or sitting down for party food and cake. I couldn't be that parent to ever exclude one child. I hope your kid has a lovely fun day with you.

LittleMonks11 · 02/12/2023 11:25

But still no offer to come for tea and cake after.

I think if it was a few weren't tall enough I'd be a bit more forgiving. You are a better woman than me!

Anyway, the main thing is your DD has cheered up.

Chuckiee · 02/12/2023 11:29

It wasn't mean to have a party the birthday child wanted even though 1 child couldn't go. There are always a few children who can't go to a classmate's party for one reason or another. The parties aren't rearranged to accommodate everyone. You wouldn't cancel a party with a water activity because 1 child couldn't swim. Birthday parties are about the birthday child and what they would like to do. I don't think it is nice for people to try to make out that the party child and her family were being mean.

SandyWaves · 02/12/2023 11:32

Chuckiee · 02/12/2023 11:29

It wasn't mean to have a party the birthday child wanted even though 1 child couldn't go. There are always a few children who can't go to a classmate's party for one reason or another. The parties aren't rearranged to accommodate everyone. You wouldn't cancel a party with a water activity because 1 child couldn't swim. Birthday parties are about the birthday child and what they would like to do. I don't think it is nice for people to try to make out that the party child and her family were being mean.

Are you the bday child's mum?

LittleMonks11 · 02/12/2023 11:34

Chuckiee · 02/12/2023 11:29

It wasn't mean to have a party the birthday child wanted even though 1 child couldn't go. There are always a few children who can't go to a classmate's party for one reason or another. The parties aren't rearranged to accommodate everyone. You wouldn't cancel a party with a water activity because 1 child couldn't swim. Birthday parties are about the birthday child and what they would like to do. I don't think it is nice for people to try to make out that the party child and her family were being mean.

It sounds like OP daughter is a good friend though. I would 100% ensure DD's good friends could come rather than do a whole class. I wasn't doing whole class at age 8 though.

Silvers11 · 02/12/2023 11:54

@Gifgirl So glad the other Mother has phoned you and made your daughter ( and you too presumably) feel much better about things.

If the other Mum DID read this post on Mumsnet, she will know you weren't having a go at her but were just asking how to help your daughter in the situation

Either way, that was so lovely of her to get in touch with you and very kind