To ask partner to postpone friends visiting

[Yellow89]

My partner has friends from uni due to stay this weekend.
Our 2 years child has a chest infection and RSV and was in hospital this week. He is still poorly, spiking high temps, coughing all the time and just not himself (very sleepy, just wanting to cuddle all day). If he doesn't improve we will need to take him back to get checked again due to how long he's been getting high temps etc for. He's on antibiotics and has been prescribed an inhaler by the hospital.

My partner doesn't want to cancel his friends coming, he thinks it's fine. I at least think he should be honest with them about what how our little boy is so they can decide.

I'm worried about our child and starting to feel unwell myself (blocked nose, cough, headache) - I'm pregnant and keep getting each bug our child has. The last thing I want/need is for either of us to pick up something else at the moment as well.
If he just had a cold I wouldn't be asking partner to postpone but given how poorly our child has been and given the fact he's still unwell and RSV is very infectious I think it's sensible to postpone.

Am I being unreasonable when he doesn't see the friends very often? They live in differ parts of the country and get together a few times a year.

Don't ask - tell!

Definitely cancel. The friends surely won't want to catch anything from your DS either

Could they move location? Could he go and stay with them?

That's what I think! I did tell him but he's come back saying 'are you sure?' and maybe I'll change my mind later on? I've hardly slept all week looking after our son and now feeling rubbish myself. I've cancelled seeing family and can't understand why he's so reluctant to postpone his plans.

I suggested this but he didn't seem keen. I had to stay in hospital by myself most of the time with our child as he was working away so if we did end up needing to go back in (which in sure is unlikely but still a worry due to how lo is not improving much) I'd like him to be close by . It was really hard being there alone when I couldn't leave the bedside for the toilet, to get food etc unless staff had time to sit with LO and I didn't sleep much at all.

Be firm. Say I feel unwell and you will need to stay up all night with our child. You won’t be spending time hanging out with your friends, you will be cuddling sad toddler while im in bed. I’m not willing to burn myself out here looking after baby nonstop while pregnant myself and also ill and it’s very unfair of you to expect me to. I hope I’d never ever treat you like this.

And also say if I’m unwell and our toddler goes to hospital you will be the one staying there with them. Your friends will be pissed off knowing you could have rescheduled them and didn’t.

If I turned up to stay at someone’s house and their child was obviously unwell and the parent was unwell/tired/struggling….I’d feel awful!

It’s never fun having to cancel plans but I think in this instance the last thing you need is more people in your house when you don’t feel well and your DC is so poorly.

I think like pp said, don’t ask, tell!

Hope you both feel better soon

I’d message them myself and cancel if he refused! What a prick.
They will understand…it’s just that time of year and it sounds like you’ve had it worse than most! Hope you feel better soon!

Be nice about it, but put your foot down. If you say yes to this, the next time, it'll be expected of you (and most likely it will be when you have two children to cope with!)
Making plans at this time of year is always a gamble if you have small kids. I don't think we've had a single November since the kids were born without at least one person getting antibiotics or a fever or both, and my kids are 11!

Thanks all, he's cancelled now. I know it's hard to change plans but it's just the way it has to be. It was the same last winter and I expect it to be like this for the foreseeable so have to just be open to change.
They were completely fine with cancelling, as I expected.