To expect candid photos in a boudoir shoot

[sheenaisapunkrocker]

I did a boudoir shoot. I was talked into it by a longstanding bra fitter; it was sold as a fun, no obligation opportunity.

It was a fun experience, I enjoyed the shoot.

I enjoyed the hard sell post- shoot sale much less. It was very slick and designed to part the customer from their cash. Think luxe showroom, with wide-screen slideshow, set to music, accompanied bu the saleswoman's comments on the fabulousness of each shot. This was followed up by by a sales pitch on the packages available, ranging from £500 - £2,500 and "help" to narrow down the preferred images.

Swept along, I bought a "modest" package totalling £650. It was fine, the pictures were truly stunning. It was an interest free arrangement over 12 months.

The images were sent to me immediately. The next day, I began to scrutinise them. It became obvious that they were fabulous because they were heavily photoshopped. My belly overhang, leg shape and other curves had been "corrected" I feel cheated - the images are not my body. My body is not perfect, but it's mine and I'm ok with that. I'm 50, and worked hard for many years towards acceptance and love for my body, with all it's "imperfections". AIBU to think I should have been offered candid images?

I am surprised you expected abything else. Photo shopping and filters are the way of the world now. They have replaced the skillful photographer,

I was at a wedding a couple of months back, the bride was beautiful. The wedding photos bore no resemblance to how she looked on the day,

I think the problem is that you are in the minority and most people expect heavily photoshopped and filtered photos.

I suspect your bra-fitter was on commission. You must have lived on Mars to get to 50 and not realise your photos were always going to be heavily edited, soft focus, sympathetic lighting, etc.
Did you ask for candid shots with no editing? I doubt they rarely get asked for realistic photos as that isn't what these shoots are about.

Good lighting, clever angles - yes, I expected this. Actually airbrushing and changing my body shape - not so much. Is this normal? God I'm out of touch. Kill me now.

Oh yes, I'd feel the same way. No it's not normal unless discussed. They should have asked you. But like you said, they were being slick. I would work with a local photographer if done again. I don't know if you can be refunded or anything, I doubt it. Maybe you can let it go and just enjoy them anyway? Just for the fun of it.

Have you asked why they have photoshopped? It might be worth doing that, as most people probably are happy with it so that's what they do as standard.

Why don't you just say you want the unedited ones? I don't really see the big deal tbh. (I agree it's sad that photoshop is the default, but at the end of the day it's probably what most of the customers want or demand)

I've emailed the company and asked if i can see unedited photos. I had zero expectations beforehand, so going to use this as an opening. I'm going to use the opportunity to have a discussion with them about my disquiet - I'm feeling a bit weirded-out that this is sold as body-positivity. In my mind, body positivity isn't correcting perceived flaws, but celebrating bodies as they come

To be clear - were the pictures you ordered already photoshopped when you viewed them and chose which to order? If not, you might have a case because what you ordered is not what you received. If you paid by card, you might be able to claim a refund under 'goods not as described'.

If you viewed the already-photoshopped pictures and were wooed into buying them because you looked 'stunning' sadly I don't think you have any claim. You could ask whether, for goodwill, they could send you digital copies of the unedited ones. They've had your cash, the cost to them might be minimal - but if they specialise in filtering people to look 'stunning' they might be wary of releasing realistic pictures into the public domain case it affects their brand image ("Don't go to XYZ photos, I saw their pics of my friend sheena and you could see every wrinkle and blemish" etc).

@sheenaisapunkrocker i had a similar experience several years ago. Worked hard through my 20s to get fit and accept any flaws that fitness could not address and finally found body positivity and self acceptance after many years of anguish.

Had similar photos taken and agree, clever lighting and careful angles were very kind to me. However I was offered ‘touch ups’ (read: photoshop) on ‘blemishes and imperfections’ and I declined. They were very surprised by this. I don’t think it’s a common request but I was certain this was what I wanted and they did give it to me, eventually.

Do ask for unedited copies- if they still have them. These photos are not cheap so make sure you get what you want.

Ah, sadly I ordered the photoshopped images, and yes I totally agree that I bought what I saw. Just feel a bit sad after the fact that they're so unrealistic. It's a case of "act in haste and repent at leisure". My bad for being suckered in

Ask for unedited copies. I has a boudoir shot years back, and although I love the pics, they were tastefully polished up. This was almost 20 years back pre heavy filters. Can imagine they can do anything these days now.

Totally agree. What's the actual point of a semi-naked photo shoot to boost your confidence, if the result isn't of you. Camera angles and flattering lightning are fine as per Gok Wan in his tv show circa 2005 where you end up naked in a shopping centre.

I got roped into going for a free 'makeover' as a teen and it had this hard sell - an hour and a half in a plush dark room with someone who actually got cross when they realised they weren't going to get a penny from me (despite it being advertised as bloody free!).

I'd push for a refund if they won't give you photos you're happy with that aren't edited like this. I'd feel very misled if it was never mentioned.

I'm conflicted.

I wouldn't have a boudoir shoot, I'm your age @sheenaisapunkrocker, I don't need some charlatan to charge me the best part of a grand to sell me doctored images of myself.

BUT I also get that time isn't easy, and it's very seductive to see doctored images of yourself.

@sheenaisapunkrocker shit happens. Don't let bad people make you feel bad. You could just ask for the undoctored images. And then do what you will with them.

I'm with you, I wouldn't expect the images to be touched up unless it was made clear that was happening. Or if Photoshopping was done, I'd expect it to only be things like removing a stray hair sticking up, not changing my actual face or body. We all have access to filters on our phones (which I don't use), you'd expect the difference with a professional to be that they take quality, clear, well lit pictures.

What's the point in spending that amount of money on photos that aren't even of you?

This is completely normal. My boudoir shoot used skin softening photoshop 20 years ago! People don’t pay hundreds of pounds to have photos done where they look wobbly and blotchy, it’s a given that photos will be edited. It would be so unusual for someone to want unedited photos that I have would expect you to have to ask specifically for it, and probably then sign a disclaimer!

I wonder if this is an age thing? I’m in my mid forties and I wouldn’t expect photoshopped images at all! Perhaps younger people see this as more normal? I suppose they could offer it as an option, but if I am getting photos of myself, I want photos of myself. Not a fake cartoon version of me that might as well be someone else.

Boudoir photos were always in 'soft focus' even in the late 1990s/early 2000s when they sprung up everywhere. But as a PP said the salesperson should have asked the level of editing you wanted.

@sheenaisapunkrocker

I completely agree with you. I think you should have been consulted or it should have been stated in their terms and conditions. Did you sign any kind of contract? Do they have terms and conditions on their website?
It isn’t a true representation and someone has decided how you ‘should’ look.
A lot of places advertise free photo shoots and then hit you with £££ to actually buy the photos : and then you feel compelled to.

It’s a well known scam. I was a model for many years and I used to have to update my portfolio pictures every year. This cost me no more than £250 which included a makeup artist and the pictures that I got were high quality (think magazine quality) and very little editing done to the pictures.

There were always photo studios of some sort trying to lure aspiring models to have their pictures taken and then cold selling the pictures for 2k promising it would get them into the modelling industry. Those pictures were often the same poor quality boudoir type pictures that do not in any way represent the price that these people paid.

Almost every boudoir picture I see are often poor quality, over photo-shopped and over priced and usually lacking in the photography skills department. So yes you were massively ripped off for something that I probably wouldn’t have even paid £50 for.

I bet they took an upside down picture of you laid on a bed with your legs propped up against the headboard too!

That seems so expensive!

But @sheenaisapunkrocker you are 50, you must know what boudoir shots are about?

It's about parting you from you your money whilst giving you a 'soft focus' image of yourself.

If you want an edgy or real shot get a woman friend to take some candid snaps of you in your knickers. I guarantee it will be sexier.

I had a shoot but not at a boudoir company, it was at a very traditional high street family photographers and the pics were not changed apart from me asking for grey streaks being colour blended in. The woman had rarely done boudoir type shoots but was an excellent photographer. I was a model when young so knew how to pose plus am confident in front of a camera. I had recovered from a very serious illness and just felt like celebrating I was still alive. I did a series of photos showing different sides of myself, so there were some with me wearing evening dress, some in casual clothes and some in my undies and then I totally stripped off which hadn’t been planned and was swathed in a large piece of fabric.

I am glad I did it but if anyone is thinking for whatever reason that they want a photo shoot never go with these companies. They just have a very stylised specific set of poses and do heavily photoshop and give a hard sell. My friend went to one years ago and it just didn’t look like her at all and she spent a lot of money. My shoot was £500 and included a very good quality album of around 25 pictures.

It’s a few years ago now and now in my more mature years I do wonder what will happen when I slip off this mortal coil and whoever clears out my house finds it. I also have a huge photo of me taken 37 years ago in a bikini that’s in a big artists folder it’s very tasteful and Athena like in black and white. Thinking about it I have never told DS I did this when I was young.

May reveal over Christmas dinner this year just to see the look of horror, bewilderment or whatever on his and MIL face. DH knows.

I’ve had mine done 10y ago, and was very happy. Angles, light, posing. A little photoshop. I saw botg the unedited and edited versions.

Perhaps it’s the years of insta?

I'd hate it and I'm a fair bit younger than you, OP.

So much fakery everywhere. Lip fillers are the very very worst, but photoshop runs them a close second.