My OH has bone marrow cancer and was told he needed a stem cell transplant.
The haematologist first glibly mentioned it at the start of the first course of chemotherapy, just something like, "there'll be six rounds of chemotherapy and then you'll go to x hospital for a stem cell transplant", making it sound something minor. He asked what it was and how long he'd be there, but she said she didn't know! Which looking back was the first red flag.
Nothing more was said about really, despite seeing the haematologist monthly. After all the chemo, she just casually mentioned we'd get an appointment through from x hospital to go and meet the consultant and transplant team.
The appointment came through and we went (2 hours away!). It was a shambles. Out appointment time was 9-15 but we were still waiting at luncthime in an empty waiting room having watched all the other patients come, go in and go home again. We asked the receptionist and she just glibly said the consultant had gone for lunch but would be back in an "hour or so". At around 2pm, the waiting room started to fill again, and patients started going through, so we asked the receptionist again, and she just glibly fobbed us off again, so OH went to find one of the HCAs who were showing people through to ask. She knew all about him, and said they were waiting for the transplant co-ordinator who'd apparently been paged. At around 3pm, we were totally fed up, so he went back to both reception and the HCA, to ask what was going on and started to make a fuss. At around 4pm, we finally got into the consultant and he hadn't a clue why we were there, he had no file, apparently the transplant co-ordinator was part time and never worked that day! So it was a shambolic fiasco and we just went home, none the wiser.
A couple of months later, another appointment with the same guy. He'd now got a bit of a file, but all the blood tests, skeletal x-rays and MRI scans were now apparently "out of date" so he wanted them all doing again, but at his hospital, not our home town, so that was 3 more visits 2 hours away for exactly the same tests that had been done 10 months earlier!
Another couple of months passed and another consultant appointment, finally including the transplant co-ordinator. This was the first time that anyone had actually explained what the stem cell transplant entailed, which is basically a few weeks in hospital, extreme chemo which kills all cells, harvesting stem cells, lots of drugs as you've no immune system at all, and then a few months of "rehabilitation" to get you back to somewhere near normal. After all that, you're still on chemo drugs for life, there's a risk of dying during the treatment due to low immunity, and life expectancy after stem cell was still only a few years assuming it all went well!
OH wasn't happy, but he went along with it. We got a list of times for various hospital stays, tests, treatments, etc. As the time got closer, OH was getting more and more worried as neither the consultant nor transplant co-ordinator gave any confidence at all. The date of the first in-patient admission came and OH got there, admitted, and waited, and waited, and waited, day after day, nothing was happening, didn't even see the consultant, it was always "there's a delay, it'll be tomorrow" etc. He pointed out the schedule and that the next stages would have to be put back as the first stages hadn't happened, but no one cared. The second week he was there, they started to prep him, but he thought it was strange as they seemed to be prepping for stage 2 rather than the first stage (based on what the consultant had told him), so he asked to see the transplant co-ordinator (who'd apparently been on holiday), she came in, first time he'd seen her, and she assured him it was all going to plan, stage 2, etc., and looked aghast when he told her he'd not had stage 1 - she accused him of lying or getting confused and insisted he'd had it done! Luckily OH had the gumption to stick his ground and assertively told her he'd not had anything done since he'd been there. She checked the notes, went away, and came back a few hours later, tail between her legs, admitted he was right after all, and then made a big song and dance about how the whole schedule would need to be changed, and blamed him for not speaking up earlier!!
After that, he just discharged himself and told them to cancel the stem cell transplant. He had completely lost confidence in them - they were chaotic and when it's something really serious like stem cell transplant, it needs to be right and well organised.
He went back to original haematologist who didn't seem surprised, she just put him back on the long term "maintenance" dose of chemo, which he's been on for five years now, the same drugs he'd have been on if he'd had the stem cell transplant (if he'd lived and not been disabled by it), "bad" levels of cancer in his blood are still low. He's asked her a couple of times just what would have been the point of the stem cell transplant as he's lived 5 years anyway and cancer levels are still very low with being on the same maintenance drugs he'd have been on otherwise, but she can't really answer.
All I know is that OH is glad he didn't go through with it in the end. He may not have survived it, as it's serious enough when the doctors etc know what they're doing, but his experience was that they were a chaotic fiasco.