Surviving the parentals

Wanttobekind · 2023-12-01T23:43:38+00:00

My father believes everything he reads in the Torygraph. My mother thinks Liz Truss was misunderstood. My mil reads the Daily Mail. My husband and I are grauniadistas. AIBU to cancel Christmas and move to New Zealand? Would Canada be better?

Sunset6 · 01/12/2023 23:54

People have always had differing political opinions and will do until the end of time. Presumably there is a lot more about them that you love so concentrate on that. The world’s a more interesting place if you talk to people with an open mind, all of you might learn something! Or at least just agree to disagree and have a fun Christmas!

alloalloo · 01/12/2023 23:55

Can I come too? My mum likewise believes everything the press/BBC feed her, can't discuss any of it with her or I just get mad. Numerous other things, going deaf but doesn't think she is, memory gone so she tells me everything several times, relaying everything that happened in a tv show, several times .. I know she can't help it, but spending a whole day with her at least once a week is driving me mad.

titchy · 01/12/2023 23:56

Parentals? are you 17?

(My dm reads the DM and the Guardian - work that one out...)

flowerchild2000 · 01/12/2023 23:56

It's no different anywhere else in the world, unless you just want distance from your family. Things are only getting more extreme so I try to set my mind on anything else, anything but politics.

sgvibes · 02/12/2023 06:36

Wtf is a grauniadista?

PermanentTemporary · 02/12/2023 06:45

There was a reason the social rule used to be 'don't talk about politics or religion...'

Used to have family gatherings with the inlaws where apparently the only 'safe' subject was what supermarket we all preferred. Nodding thoughtfully to a discussion of Morrisons versus Tesco. Tbh I'd rather hear about Liz Truss. Just talk to them. Their views aren't catching.

Readingineading · 02/12/2023 06:49

Yes, I think New Zealand OP.
I still get the twitches when I remember DH's Aunt's immigration tirade over Xmas lunch . Im an Irish immigrant, as was my MIL. Fun times .........

Kitanai · 02/12/2023 06:51

I used to have many arguments with my father over this.

He’d express an opinion I didn’t agree with, and it makes me feel ashamed now to think back on my dismissive tone and venom towards him during some of these arguments, especially during the referendum. I treated him more like a naughty child, and I should have just debated respectfully.

But he is gone now, and I bitterly regret fighting over things that in the end didn’t really matter.

Galiana · 02/12/2023 06:54

Really?

I'd be super-embarrased if I couldn't engage with my parents because one of us read the Guardian and the other read the Telegraph.

And You call yourself a Guardianista, and the Torygraph?

Are you 16?

2jacqi · 02/12/2023 07:25

@Wanttobekind it sounds to me like you think you are too good for your parents or your in laws!!!! what makes you so right? everyone is entitled to their own opinion! what a horrible person you are to look down your nose at others whose views differ from yours! I would think they would be over the moon to get rid of you!

GreyhpundGirl · 02/12/2023 07:25

sgvibes · 02/12/2023 06:36

Wtf is a grauniadista?

A Guardian reader.

Funderthighs · 02/12/2023 07:27

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t read the DM. Sure, we all laugh at it but everyone reads it. 😉

GreyhpundGirl · 02/12/2023 07:30

I know it's a light hearted thread but it's possible to have different political opinions and get on perfectly well, in fact it's pretty normal-my husband and I are polar opposites. It would be boring if we all had the same political beliefs.

Fairyliz · 02/12/2023 07:34

sgvibes · 02/12/2023 06:36

Wtf is a grauniadista?

It’s a left wing person who reads the guardian and thinks they are morally superior to everyone else.
They also like to sneer and look down on people who don’t share their views, without trying to engage and understand others point of view. Sadly this can often be the people who have raised them and are kind enough to invite them for Christmas.
Im not sure that either Canada or New Zealand want such narrow minded intolerant people.

SutWytTi · 02/12/2023 07:36

Fairyliz · 02/12/2023 07:34

It’s a left wing person who reads the guardian and thinks they are morally superior to everyone else.
They also like to sneer and look down on people who don’t share their views, without trying to engage and understand others point of view. Sadly this can often be the people who have raised them and are kind enough to invite them for Christmas.
Im not sure that either Canada or New Zealand want such narrow minded intolerant people.

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I think you missed that this is a light-hearted thread. You sound bitter and intolerant yourself!

Vegetus · 02/12/2023 07:38

Oh god, different opinions!

MaryBeardsShoes · 02/12/2023 07:38

You could just grow up a bit.

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 02/12/2023 07:42

No op, you need to visit and show them how accepting and tolerant of different views and opinions the Grundiad readers are.
Remember this will mean that neither DM or MIL can comment or have views on anything due to their silly cis-female status, but do what your media tells you, RE-EDCATE their foolishness!

Mrsphilmiller · 02/12/2023 07:43

Oh god , OP! Seems like a lot of mumsnettees have woken up on the wrong side of the bed. Don’t let them spoil your day ☀️🌲

thebabessavedme · 02/12/2023 07:44

I have banned the '4 Ps' from being discussed at any time

Politics
Politicians
Pigeons
Potholes

Anytime my dear ole dad starts up we all howl 'noooooo not the 4Ps' We give him more whiskey to keep the old boy mellow (and hide The Daily Telegraph)

ALightOverThere · 02/12/2023 07:50

My tip, if you end up discussing politics, is to treat it as an opportunity to understand more about their views rather than convince them of your own. It’s really tempting to go into debate mode and want to score points and be acknowledged as right but that can lead to really unpleasant conversations and fallings out. Better to imagine yourself as an interviewer - your role in the conversation is not to present your views but to draw out their views (and not in a gotcha way but actually get them to explain what they think and why).

IME this leads to a much more enjoyable conversation and you actually learn something about what they think- which is not to say you have to agree but you might find points of agreement eg they want fewer immigrants because they’re worried about lack of NHS appointments and you’re also worried about the NHS. Resist the urge to say “ah ha, but the NHS is staffed by immigrants!” as if you’re James O’Brien on Twitter and instead explore their worries about what’s happening with the NHS and find out where you agree. You don’t have to treat the conversation as a chance to be right, it could just be a chance to understand them better.

ALightOverThere · 02/12/2023 07:52

Also IME most people are actually more moderate than you think- they just present the less moderate position when they feel under attack.

Leafysuburb · 02/12/2023 07:52

Store a bingo card in the kitchen and fill it out every time they wander onto tricky topics and count to ten before you return to the living room.

Or wear earbuds, listen to a good audoobook and just nod blankly

Galiana · 02/12/2023 07:55

SutWytTi · 02/12/2023 07:36

I think you missed that this is a light-hearted thread. You sound bitter and intolerant yourself!

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I'm not sure it's a lighthearted thread;

Guardianistas?

Torygraph?

It's not funny or lighthearted, it's ridiculous schism for no reason other than we have let social media tell us that there is no discussion.

@thebabessavedme you pour alcohol down your antedeluvian father's neck rather than let him talk about politics because he reads the Telegraph? And tell him to STFU??

Fucking hell. You need to have a word with yourself

fishonabicycle · 02/12/2023 08:25

There are so many people on Mumsnet who are so po faced. This is obviously a light hearted thread. I'm sure the OP loves her parents.