Dd going crazy after writing a bit

[Totpisinthenineties]

Getting really worried about Dd, 5. She was always very bright, early to talk, large vocab etc. We’ve always done activities-crafting, reading, she loves me doing sums with her and so on. Today we were writing out santas letter, she was sounding out words and writing the letters-some backwards and so on, all very normal, she then went just really silly and scribbled everywhere, then was hyper for around 30 minutes, I’ve noticed this for a while now after concentrating on an activity for a short time. Is this a sign of adhd/ASD I’m not understanding it at all

The attention span of a 5 year old would be 7mn, after that they need to unwind.

@fulawitt 7 minutes of writing/work? Should I test this

she does not need to have more attention span it will grow with age you have to make sure she gets breaks and that she learns the same topic in completely different ways.

Also : It works. It's crazy the amount of things those kids can learn with consistency.

But you won't ever see your friend's kids in the situation you were in earlier - i.e. alone with your own child. Children can act very differently in different environments.

Anyway I've read all your posts and despite everyone saying theres no concern and this behaviour is normal, you seem very intent on this psychologist appointment (why have you booked her to see a psychologist privately?) and seeking to get her diagnosed with something. I wonder why?

I think sending her to a psychologist is really ott, and I have a neurodivergent child.

All they should be doing at 5yo is playing.

Lots of countries formal education hasn't even started at age 5, it's so little still.

@WeightoftheWorld *Seeking to get her diagnosed with something??
Ive booked an assessment privately, because the wait can be years in the public system, because it’s been on my mind since age was 2.5/3 when I noticed certain behaviours but either pushed them away or was in denial. Now she’s at school and getting a bit older, things seem to be becoming more apparent and causing her distress now-getting told off at school for not sitting still or doing her work, being hyperactive the majority of the time, struggling with regulating her feelings and emotions to an extent I don’t see others of her age doing so much these days and basically wanting to help my girl and also learn how to make our life as a family easier and less stressful, because at the moment it’s been v v hard
So, no, I’m not seeking to find something wrong with my daughter, I would love more than anything not to be in this situation or for her to be in this situation, so I owe it to her to investigate if something is *Wrong
Okay?

@Girliefriendlikespuppies Please see above

Learning to regulate your emotion, sitting still, doing what you are told in a timely manner, all of those things she has to learn at home. It is not natural, it won't just "happen" as she grow, and yes school will tell you "how come she does not do that yet?". This is what was used to be called "being school ready". It is a prerequisite for any learning in collectivity, and this is what she should be learning before learning letters and numbers. School is there for evaluation mostly and sometimes teaching. It's a factory that works for only 30% of the classroom. Go private by all means, but remember in the meantime that kids are a lot of work at that age. If she is gifted it is way more work. Writing is the toughest thing that she will have to learn in her whole lifetime ( so I was told) so give her a break when she does that. As you are already doing all sorts of activities with her help her identify listening time, quiet time, following instruction (first listening then doing) etc in any activity that you do. Riding a bike, swimming, playing all sorts of silly ball games are a life saver : Physical activity is the right hand of proper cognitive development. All you can do on this side will save you a dozen headaches later down the line. I am just a mum, it's just another way to say your kid seems quite normal. Take this with 10 pinches of salt : you are taking the right steps.

If your worried then you know your child so follow your gut!
To me a 5 year old is good if they can write their name. Some can write loads others a few letters and it's enough. Their hands aren't even formed fully at 5.

My DC is very bright (not UK and we were advised to get her tested, she is VERY bright) - she gets very anxious about not doing things perfectly which will result in her not wanting to try. Sometimes this comes out as her being very silly - both I think as a way to blow off the frustration /anxiety and to divert the adult from trying to get her to do the task. Perfectionism is really common in gifted kids and they can be very anxious about adults having high expectations, does your daughter fall into this bucket?

This above makes your DD sound really good at regulating her emotions and adjusting her expectations.

Her teacher doesn't seem very nice or like a good match for your DD : that would be a big stress. She's made to do more school activities at home; that stress invites itself in her safest place. She tries really hard but then it becomes too much. She doesn't have the words to tell you, but she has done so much big work this term, she needs a break from adults' expectations and judgement.
She's taking on big challenges and doing well but it's almost as if you have your own agenda OP.

I said higher up that this was normal behaviour for a 5-year-old, but - if you’ve had a niggly feeling since she was much smaller than I’d say don’t ignore it. I sensed something was up with my DD when she was tiny, and she was diagnosed with ASD at 2.5 and ADHD at 7.

You know your child best so trust your gut. She might just need a little bit longer to mature - totally normal as others here have said. But if you and her teacher have already noticed differences then yes, there might be something else going on.

At this age her concentration help is about 6 mins.

Sounds like too high expectations and picking up on your anxiety.

Sounds like it to me too. Strict teacher who focuses on the negative = child who doesn’t enjoy writing anymore and gets overwhelmed.

Maybe she needs more time for positivity and silly play.

OP have you asked her thoughts on her teacher?

Sounds like normal 5 year old behaviour to me.

She wasn’t forced to do anything, she wanted to do her letter to Santa, we don’t sit down and write etc, she sometimes plays and walks around writing bits herself, it’s just something I noticed when she started writing.
She doesn’t like her teacher and says she shouts at her for doing things wrong in her work-this is what we went to speak to the teacher about, she seems to have eased up a bit
Dd definitely gets upset if she thinks something isn’t right, we’ve always praised everything she does, and says it doesn’t matter, it’s just the way she seems to be.

Am relieved so many are saying it’s normal behaviour though as I’ve noticed things over the years and really wondered. All her friends seem to be much calmer than her.

@Rodelansier Own agenda being what? What do you mean? Why would I have an agenda with my own child? I’ve noticed things since she was 2.5 plus on and off as has my mum and obviously Dh, we’re the only ones who see her 24/7 (mum come to stay for a week or more at a time)
Her behaviour can be very challenging at times, I admit I find it hard to cope with (as do Dh and Dm) and I worry for Dd at times as she literally never switches off

Now I feel like I’m being told I’m imagining it

It doesn't sound as if you're imagining anything. She also sounds perfectly normal for 5 and exactly like one of my own DC, who doesn't have ADHD but may be mildly dyslexic. (Can read and write well at 6, though not with much pleasure in the task.)

It sounds as if you're very irritated by her behaviour but struggle with the thought (which most parents have quite a lot) 'my kid is being so annoying today, ugh'. So to avoid feeling like a bad/angry/ irritable mum, it's easier to explain the behaviour by an underlying condition. Better in the long run to sit with the irritation for quite a bit longer, I'd say.

@hopsalong I don’t think it’s that at all…why would my mum think it’s best if we see someone, why would Dh struggle too

I have no idea why you seem to want your DD to be labelled and stamped 'different' when you can not cite a single instance of her behaviour that would warrant it. I have no idea why you dismiss the idea that your DD's behaviour is healthy. It's for you to say, maybe you weren't expecting her to be quite so smart and full-on.
Some children are very bright, 'always on', super-active. They need outlets and interesting things to do, all the time, it can be quite exhausting for the parents but it is not a pathology. Your DD is not here to fit your idea of who she should be. Is there no one else in your family who is similarly bright and has a high-drive temperament?
Your DD is not helped in regulating her impulses by the example of her teacher, this person does not behave appropriately but expects 5 year olds to? Shouting at a young child is not acceptable. And children learn by playing, by the way, so saying ' all she wants to do is play' is like saying all she wants to do is learn.

Because they've bought into what they've read and seen on TV and because they can't, or don't want to. cope with a lively child. It's not unusual.

All you have described about your daughter is perfectly normal for her age.

It's a fact that some children are lively, vocal and want to know everything and some are docile by nature. They are individuals.

I was like her and so was my child but we both became fairly laid back when puberty hit.