Dd demanding to know if the elves are real

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Dd is 5, we started elves for the first time this year, I did the whole surprise, letter from them, advent calendar etc. She keeps asking if I wrote the letter and saying she’s going to look at a pad where I write to see if our writing is the same! She also said that they’ve got tags on so they can’t be real.
Anyone else’s child like this or just mine spoiling the magic part 🙈

I genuinely did believe until quite late (10+) with Father Christmas! Maybe it made me a daft child😏 or just a good imagination. Although I'm not sure I want to start the Elf tradition with my toddler son. When there are too many things, it does make it all less believable, IMO!

Same here! I never had the conversation with my parents either. Me and my siblings still said "He's been!" on Christmas morning up until we left home in our 20s! We just reached an age when we knew and decided to carry on the tradition for fun.
I've never told my 19 year old either. He just knows and keeps the pretence up for the younger ones and because it's a fun tradition.

That emotional blackmail is manipulative!
My kids don't believe (anymore if they ever did, who knows), they still get to take part. 🙄

Good answer.

Oh, they really don't. My mum always laughs at how me and my siblings were all absolute rotters for noticing the obvious discrepancies in Christmas 'magic'. I don't ever remember truly believing Father Christmas was real. But I still loved the idea of Father Christmas and I still got every bit as excited about it as any other child.

Parents often think their children believe in all the magic when in fact, the kids are actually aware it's not real, but are playing along because they love it and it's fun to imagine that sort of magic exists - much like they know their imaginary friend isn't real but will still insist that they are, if that makes sense.

I'm sure some kids do fully believe it's all real but I think far fewer of them genuinely believe in this stuff than adults assume.

FWIW, I would say your DD is an intelligent, thoughtful child with good deduction and critical thinking skills, and who understands that evidence is important and that you shouldn't just take everything at face value. I like her! She won't enjoy her Christmas any less just because she's a bright kid - she'll still have just as magical a time.

I think believing in Santa is different. Santa is ubiquitous, he comes to nearly every child, and the key thing is you never see him. He comes overnight and ta-dah, the presents are there in the morning like real magic.

Any child who is familiar with toys knows they don't come to life overnight and do stupid shit. They can pick up the elves, see that they are plastic and see the "made in china" label on their backsides. They will also know that this "tradition" is nothing of the sort, and was dreamed up about 10 years ago, so some people do it and some don't. It is not a thing like Santa is a thing. Your child is not daft, if you have to buy into this I agree going with the "it's a game" is the best option.

Mine started off with “it’s a trick mummy” but after an hour has announced the elf definitely real! I’m not sure that he does believe, but he enjoys it. We had a talk along the lines of “some magic comes from Santa, some magic comes from what we do for people we love” - corny as hell but he took it in very seriously!

I was wondering about this the other day, because I can remember that when I was at primary school - I suppose we'd have been about seven - that 'Do you believe in Father Christmas or not?' was just kind of a fun Christmas debate that we used to have, like our teacher actually said 'So, hands up who thinks he's real? Hands up who thinks he isn't?' The kids who believed would firmly stick to their opinion, they didn't have the magic spoiled by another kid saying 'Nah, I think it's not true because reindeer can't fly'. They'd say things like 'Well, Father Christmas's reindeer are special reindeer and they CAN fly because they're magic'. It was just discussed as a thing we all had an opinion on. This was not something parents found at all controversial! But now it's very different, it seems, and I'm not really sure what's brought about that shift.

If she's old enough to ask then she's old enough to know. My parents "kept the magic alive" for years when I was asking logical questions, I remember it being a really unsettling feeling. I'd have much preferred the truth.

It's hardly emotional blackmail. If they want to declare "I don't believe" they can, they just won't have to do all the santa letters etc or fake believing that the elves have moved. If they don't want to believe, then they wouldn't want to pretend anyway. Most kids reach an age when they know, but choose to keep up the pretence for the fun of it.

My five year old has asked a couple of times whether Santa is real, and each time I tell him the same thing: some people think it's just a story, but what does he think? He says he thinks it's real and I say I do too. I feel that's the easiest way to navigate the fact that other kids will be questioning it and telling each other it's not real. It pre-empts the fact that this will happen and having the conversation in a "safe space" with me. I don't want some big lie or big reveal, it's just all a lovely Christmas story. There's magic in that too! He's also in the stage that he's asking whether TV shows are real. They're trying to figure out the world so why lie about this one thing. We don't do the elf thing either. Christmas is magical enough without trying to add to my stress load lol.

@Fionaville that's a little harsh! So your kids won't get stockings past the age of 7 or 8?

You have a very smart kid on your hands there!
Maybe she will be a barrister when she grows up - all that cross examination practice haha

They do so believe. The kid is 5...

She's maybe heard from someone else to start questioning it so early. Or you're not good at the delivery of the magic elements lol

I vow to never introduce these stupid elves. We had enough magic stuff with Santa, why do we need elves and why are people buying in to it? Weird

@Fionaville we are the exact same. We have Santas grotto photos with my mum and dad when we were older teens. We'd all go for the laugh and the annual photo and have a Chinese afterwards. You don't need to believe to have fun and enjoy it all. I honestly can't get worked up about whether children believe or don't.

This is why it's a stupid idea and I never got involved with elves. It's so silly children know it's not real and it brings into question whether other things are real or not such as Santa and ruins the whole thing. It's like some kind of horror story anyway.

You know 5 yr olds are just so inquisitive though. Part of the magic is "is he really real?!"
Answer "I believe he is". Santa doesn't come to those who don't believe. That's the whole thing about Santa isn't it? You have to believe! :D

Yup. Young kids understand make believe as a game. They don't need to be told it isn't real or real to enjoy. I think most know Santa is a fun game that parents play with their children.

My eldest 19 year old still gets a stocking, as I did up until I left home in my 20s. But they reach an age when they stop believing, so stop writing to santa and going to the grotto etc. No big conversation about it not being real. My teens still say "He's been" on Christmas morning, but they don't take part in all the other stuff, whilst the younger ones do.

My dd was the same- we started at 3 years old and she totally believed the elf was real. Then her 4th and 5th xmas I got constant questions about the elf and Father Christmas and were they real, have I seen FC in real life or seen the elves move, is magic real etc etc. She was very dubious about it all but also seemed keen to believe so I think for the next couple of years she chose to believe. In the past when she used to ask me if it's all real I've just told her that some people believe in the magic of Christmas (FC, elves, flying reindeer) and other people don't believe in it all, and it's up to her what she wants to believe. She's now 10 and even though she pretends to believe it all I can tell she doesn't but is playing along for her little brother.

How do you think Santa, Christmas trees and other Christmas traditions started?

In 50 years time having an elf will probably be normal.

(I went to a supermarket earlier and saw Christmas Even sacks/presents for kids. Didn't see them last year.)