Shouty, angry and depressed mum

[Bamboolampsandscandichairs]

I can’t be normal. I’ve become a very shouty and angry mum. I got off my antidepressants as I want to conceive but my symptoms are getting worse. I’m a teacher in school and it took an inspection to throw me off the edge. I’m honestly very tired of going to work, running the house and weekends are split between going to in laws and going to see my elderly parents. I’ve tried to do counselling through talking therapies but the wait was really long and I can’t afford private. I spent most of my day being depressed and angry at everyone and just can’t be happy. I’ve stopped looking after myself and I know I need help but not sure

there really is only one thing for it

get back on anti depressants

Because by coming off it - it’s not just you suffering.

Your children, your partner and no doubt your students too

Two options- both of them very hard:

1. Get well again on the ADs and don't conceive
2. Try to conceive but run the risk of poor MH in pregnancy

Have you talked to your partner about what they think? I'm sorry I set it out so plainly - it was designed to crystallise your thinking, not to upset you. And please know you are normal - many of us suffer without ADs - don't blame yourself.

Back in ADs and so t have another child. Your at the end of your tether why add more stress bodily exhaustion and complexity to your life?

How many children do you have? Why are you trying to conceive if you're already struggling to juggle everything? I'm asking that with kindness rather than judgment by the way.

It sounds like you have an awful lot on your plate already, so, as PPs have said, with kindness, why are you attempting to add more?
I think you know the answer already but coming here will validate it. Speak to your partner. Sending hugs

Bringing another innocent child into that situation would literally be a terrible idea.
Prioritise your existing kids who don’t deserve this, and get back on the medication

I have an only child. I just don’t want him to grow up and have no one. We try to give him lots of social time but he does ask about siblings.

Speak to your gp it's not impossible to conceive on antidepressants

Many people do go ahead and conceive on antidepressants- there are some small risks but you and your doctor may decide together they are less for you than the risk of poor mental health off antidepressants. Go and see your GP and discuss your options with an open mind. And remember none of this is your fault. Take care of yourself.

Go back on your medication. A depressed and non-functioning mother will affect your son far more than being an only child ever would.

I would get back on the antidepressants but also make sure you’re ON that talking therapy waiting list, as you do get to the top eventually! I think it was about 18 months for me (but for a different condition and no doubt a different location, so I don’t know how it would be for you). I know that’s rubbish and it doesn’t help at all in the short term - but this is a long term illness and I’m sure the therapy will still be helpful in the longer term.

Many people take antidepressants in pregnancy and the resulting children are perfectly fine. Are you sure your antidepressant can't be taken while ttc? Either way though you need to go back on your antidepressants because this isn't fair on you or your family. Your mental health and your family's happiness matters more right now than ttc.

Take a break from seeing your in laws! tell DH to take your son so you can spend time catching up on chores or just having a break. Let him skip visits to your mum too.

I'd be annoyed doing that every weekend too.

I personally don’t feel as though coming off of antidepressants to conceive is best choice here (of course this is ultimately down to you). You really have to consider the stress, the depression and anxiety that can come with pregnancy and postpartum. I also think you need to consider whether or not having another child is best for you in general, I know you stated your child has asked about a sibling but kids do that all the time, my partners sister has got four kids and they still ask about having another sibling. Having another child based off the fact your current child asks for one shouldn’t be a deciding factor, if it isn’t best for you then you’re the parent, don’t have one. Of course if you do want to conceive, antidepressants shouldn’t have any effect on female fertility. Having a baby on antidepressants is completely fine and is what I did with my first born and currently now pregnant with my second. Mental health services in maternity have improved, I had to stay in the hospital for at least 24 hours after birth but besides that thousands of women give birth every year on antidepressants and although it may slightly increase the risk of problems for baby based on what you take, you should discuss this with your doctor. The potential risks of taking antidepressants may outweigh the risk of not treating your depression. Please make sure you are definitely on the list for talking therapy’s, and there are a lot of online resources available to do mental health work at home.

op better grow up a single child with a happy healthy mother

than a child with a sibling and a mother who is angry and depressed

It is safe to take Sertraline while you are pregnant. Being stressed while pregnant can have more of a negative effect on the foetus than taking medication. Talk to your doctor.

Sometimes the correct response to a sitaution is to be shouty and angry. If that is the case, do what you can to change the situation. If, however, you think that a shouty angry response is not wanted, then you need to change your response.
No judgement here, I am also pretty shouty and angry at the moment, but I think it is completely justified by the situation.

I found this helpful when I came of AD's.

As for medication review with a perinatal psychiatrist. For me they did this just through the GP. When I wanted to start trying to conceive my gp wrote to the perinatal team and they wrote back with their view on my medication and whether I could conceive on it.

I was on an antipsychotic and this was safe to be on. I decided to see if I could lower my dose as I was stable. We had to have 3 days on the ward after she was born as she was at slightly higher risk of poor neonatal adaptation syndrome than other babies. This happens to 10% of babies anyway and a few medications increase this a little. Every 4h someone came to check my daughter during those 3 days. They checked her temperature and her sats and her general alertness. She scored 0 (best) score on every check.

I'm thinking about trying to conceive a second. This time round I am on the same antipsychotic, an antidepressants and lithium as a mood stabiliser. I am having to come off the lithium and the antidepressants. I can't conceive on lithium and I can't be on the antidepressants without being on lithium due to the risks of going manic. This time I'm already under the care of a psychiatrist but my GP wrote to them to get my appointment moved forward to do a medication review.

With my first I breastfeed on the antipsychotic and 4 different antidepressants. It was only when I went on lithium that I had to stop so if that was a concern there are antidepressants that are also ok with breastfeeding

I think it would be incredibly irresponsible to even think of conceiving in this situation. Being an only child is not the worst thing in the world, you’ll be doing your child more damage at the moment!